Mixed Personalities

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

Had a convo with a man at my gym today and he’s one of those patrons that will check in at like 7 or 8am and then leave at around noon. I asked him how he was able to afford to spend 4-5 hours at the gym every weekend (today was a holiday in Canada) and he’s like:

was at the corner store getting a few snacks and a 7 year old with a single packet of two poptarts struck up a conversation with me while I was choosing between Chex mix flavors. weighed in on the flavors. They continued to follow me through the store all the way to checkout and stood there talking to me at the register so the cashier thought they were my kid and I finally said “are you possibly hoping for someone to buy those poptarts” and they pulled out a WAD of cash and said “nope just talking to ya.”

this one

the current meme is based on the following which is based on that one

So the timeline is

as far as anyone can tell this is the original “I am a lesbo” image, for the record

I heard...now don't shoot the messenger but this is the og I am gay tho

Why the fuck is it woody and bolt

There is

one time our ketchup dispenser broke. corporate refuses to give us out of order signs because it “looks bad” so i had to write on a sticky note and put it on the handle. i watched a customer walk up, remove the sticky note, throw it into the trash, lift the handle, and get blasted with ketchup leaving the nozzle at mach speed. all over her white shirt. she came around the counter and tried yelling at me about how we needed to place an out of order sign on it and i had the pleasure of informing her that she threw our out of order sign away.