Shenanigans 2: This Time It's Personal

When I was 12 I decided I was gonna be a prophet and I immediately started making up prophecies because I thought I needed to practice and develop the skill. Like obviously it makes sense that most people who try to predict the future get it wrong, they're probably still getting the hang of it.

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

they wouldn't have censored us like this on the jeremy renner app

Happy Moon Landing Eve! Remember to leave out milk and cookies for Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, and don’t let Michael Collins convince you to prank NASA!

If Tumblr is still here next July 19th, I fully expect this post to obliterate my activity feed.

Put him down, he's got a meeting

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny