Shenanigans 2: This Time It's Personal

eating rice, there's definitely an upper limit to how much you can eat, but thinking about it in abstract? when filling a plate? it's hard to conceive of it. that's what makes it so dangerous

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall

“hey this dog looks to be struggling to perform very basic functions and that is very worrying” “well ACTUALLY if you STUDIED THE BREED STANDARD you’d see that this dog is actually the IDEAL ______” YEAH. THIS TOO IS THE PROBLEM. WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING.

“you can’t blame breeders for breeding to standard :/“ i actually find it very easy to blame them. they are the ones creating the dogs on purpose, you see

I hardly jeff the know ‘er

the youtube notification of ''ooohh your video isn't starting up smoothly???? turn off your ad blocker you cunt <3'' is so pathetic to me bc it takes five seconds max. you think i can't wait five seconds? you think i need to give you money because five seconds is too long? i pity your wife.

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”