Shenanigans 2: This Time It's Personal

just saw the funniest thing on twitter where someone was broken up with bc they ate 7 croissants im CRYINGGGG

whoever's idea it was to have womens t-shirts have those tiny sleeves that go way up into the armpits must have done that maliciously

[ID: drawing of a white borzoi looking back over its shoulder, with a small saddle and many tassels on it in various bright colors. end ID.]

shoutout to the person who tagged this "#geronimo stilton" for living their truth in a way most of us could never find the courage to

i like to order a lot of various evil import shit online and then spend the next week eating various evil import shit

every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it

this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives

do you want custody of the post

I just wanna hang out

this is my one wild and precious life fucckkkkkkk fuckkkkkk fucckcckkkkkkk

Instead of the Monkey’s Paw, you find the Clown’s Nose, which instead of granting your wish in the worst way possible will grant it in the funniest way.

Item: the Cursed Clown Nose. Obviously to use it you have to put it on and give it a honk

okay no hang on because assuming it takes half a second for each bill, this would in fact take over five days of nonstop bills

wishing everyone over five days of nonstop bills 🥰✨