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[ID: a scale showing Monkey D. Luffy as 'Wanted Terrorist', Ichigo Kurosaki as 'Technically an unpaid intern', and Naruto Uzumaki as 'Presiking of the State'. End ID]
i just realized that Qifrey did the exact opposite of hoping a baby will save the marriage. maybe a kid will make us miserable. oops no wait i love the kid and you still love me. well maybe one more will do. maybe just one more. maybe just one m
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Chapters: 3/10
Fandom: Bleach (Anime & Manga)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Kuchiki Byakuya/Zaraki Kenpachi
Characters: Kuchiki Byakuya, Zaraki Kenpachi, Kuchiki Rukia, Sui-Feng | Soifon, Hitsugaya Toushirou, Ayasegawa Yumichika, Madarame Ikkaku, Abarai Renji, Kurosaki Ichigo, Kyouraku Shunsui
Additional Tags: Post TYBW, Smut, Shameless Smut, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Sex as a Coping Mechanism, Trauma, Dead Characters, Unhealthy Relationships, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Friends with Benefits to Lovers, unohana yachiru and ukitake haunt the narrative, Miscommunication, Lack of Communication, Politics, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Unreliable Narrator, Getting Together, Top Zaraki Kenpachi, Bottom Kuchiki Byakuya, byaichi, but all they do is hookup, Messy, Jealousy, byakuya is a possessive control freak, Secret Relationship, or they think its a secret, Everybody knows, I am still on my byakuya-soifon-hitsugaya brotp agenda btw, weird insane people in love, did I say trauma, cause like there’s some of it, some - Freeform, hehe, post war trauma and political disillusionment are the fuel in this engine of debauchery, enough now read
Series: Part 1 of BLEACH GAY VERSE (ft. RenRuki)
Summary:
Byakuya Kuchiki has several problems.
Soul Society is failing those it promises to protect. His sister, sometimes, is a mystery to him. The Central 46 remain a persistent source of irritation. And too many people lie about way too many things.
Also, Kenpachi Zaraki keeps following him around.
In fairness, Byakuya is also sleeping with him.
Though he would like to make it clear that this is NOT a serious relationship. It is simply a mutually beneficial arrangement, between two consenting adults, who happen to find each other attractive.
There is no reason to overthink it. None, whatsoever.
Unfortunately, Byakuya is shit at not overthinking things.
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Bless the person who went this direction with the writing and costuming. Paddington, indeed. If you haven't read the original Michael Bond books, get on that soon.
"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.
This post by @kaijusaur inspired me to draw the 🌸intern🌸 Phoenix Wright. I mean c’mon, I couldn’t ignore his pink trousers and absolute goofiness.😆 Mia I respect you for seeing legal talent in that guy and deciding to keep him
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When my co-blogger and I saw the 3 TYBW episodes in theatres, there is exactly one thing we could not, have not stopped talking about. It is all-consuming. We have been waiting to see the episode again to re-experience this moment:
Bleach 667
A giant keeps getting giant-er. Zaraki has shown up like a bat outta hell. The thousand-year blood war has reached a fever pitch. The situation's getting dire. The perfect time for Byakuya to take a meditative moment to mutter to himself about sword theory.
BYAKUYA.
w h a t
(disclaimer: what follows is not a post about sword theory. i don't care about sword theory. i care about Byakuya being a weirdo)
Sure, you could pull down an easel and cue up your PowerPoint about how this comment is important to Zaraki lore and perhaps Byakuya is also taking this moment to galaxy brain his way into thinking about Ichigo, and the Soul King, and Yhwach, and the big picture they are dealing with Gerard in order to support. Maybe this has been on Byakuya's mind since he once fought a ryoka with a giant zanpakutou.
I think all of that's true. But I repeat: BYAKUYA. w h a t
My man, read the room!!! They are mid-battle and Byakuya's just standing here muttering to himself about how gdi he KNEW "constant-release" wasn't a thing it's so obvious people kept saying oh constant-release constant-release but that's not a thing it's never been a thing and now he has PROOF HE KNEW IT!!!!!!
Like, relative to Zaraki and Hitsugaya and Gerard, Byakuya barely even participates in this scene, despite explicitly telling Hitsugaya his plan was to do just that. It takes him a while to get back to the task at hand.
WHILE YOU WERE FIGHTING GERARD BYAKUYA WAS STUDYING THE BLADE
Wow, I love him. What a weirdo. Especially since this isn't even his first out-of-pocket moment and it's not his last. This "studying the blade" sidebar is sandwiched in between his two exchanges with Hitsugaya about size difference kink. Byakuya: Head in the clouds, thoughts entranced by tangents--desperately willing himself unsuccessfully to not be part of this fight anymore.
I really think the entire concept of Gerard puts Byakuya on his last marble, up until Zaraki makes him realize he has a last-er one.
You can hear it in his voice. Here's that line again, in the JP version:
Bleach 667
Let me offer my interpretation.
The vast majority of the time, the pronoun Byakuya uses to refer to others is 'kei.' It's formal, deferential (I would think more in the sense of 'I'm noble and part of being noble is offering my regard to you' than in the sense that Byakuya would plan to defer to anyone), and highly unusual even in the context of Soul Society. It's his Thing.
Byakuya will 'kei' just about anyone, up to and including:
his own reigai, which is not even really an 'anyone'
As Nodt (!!!!)
Hisagi (whom he doesn't otherwise seem to respect at all in that scene)
Ichimaru and Zaraki, even when they're behaving adjutantlessly
Talking about Zaraki here, though? Byakuya pulls out a 'yatsu.' Yatsu can be used as a pronoun/modifier that on its polite end can be used like 'that guy' and on its other could be 'that fuckin' guy.' It's also commonly used to refer to misc. things/objects ("Can you grab that thing over there?" / "I use this thingy to--").
It's not even Byakuya's first 'yatsu' of the chapter. He first pulls one out when he's assessing Gerard's abilities:
Bleach 667
Bear in mind that this is a man who kei'd As Nodt, another Sternritter. This is man who kei'd HIS OWN REIGAI. But Gerard?
Fuck that guy!!
And fuck Zaraki too!!
I went all the way back to Byakuya's first encounter with Gerard in Vol. 71 (this is all in Vol. 73) and up until he's at his marble limit here, he simply avoids addressing Gerard almost entirely (mostly by avoiding speaking, period).
But now? Now Byakuya gives no more fucks, he's letting it all hang out. He's so out of sorts he's altered his treasured speech patterns.
He's also drawing a connection between Gerard and Zaraki--he sees them as similar, and he sees them as closers to things/objects than sapient equals.
It takes Hitsugaya almost two full chapters to also have that thought:
Bleach 668
NB, Byakuya doesn't refer to Zaraki by his captain title in this chapter, either. Aside from Renji and Rukia, Byakuya tends to be a full name and/or title kinda guy. Maybe long ago he was like "Zaraki is already a title. He should be so lucky I know his n ame. I shall not be doubling up," but the green circle is him addressing Zaraki by "Zaraki" alone, and then immediately conveying his belief that Zaraki is not a thing that can be reasoned with:
Bleach 668
It IS possible, however, that even after being done psychic damage by so much time spent with Gerard, Byakuya does in fact have one last final marble, for his last final girl:
Bleach 670
For Hitsugaya, he remembers himself enough to use 'kei' again. He even pulls out *two* "Hitsugaya-taichou" *on top* of that. That's a lot of regard, considering Hitsugaya is literally melting onto the floor atm.
Ichigo's reaction to being potentially turned into the Soul King being "SO WHAT???" is so funny, like "bro, I find out people are gaslighting and using me every third Tuesday and I'm just like 'whatever day in the life of a child soldier' about it. Step it up."
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