ana

[bird consoling his other bird friend] yeah don't worry man that guy can't kill both of us. he only has one stone

They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

the water in hotel showers will do things to the texture of your hair you didn’t even know were possible

OK so im a frog and the water is warm now. i swear it was cold a while ago but now its warm and i dont know when or why. But it's probably not gonna get any warmer

(nudging my liege as we walk past some visibly poisonous black berries) don't they look scrumptious my liege

Rattling the bars of my cage but you can tell my heart's not in it and I try to discreetly look down check my phone several times

I do not want the ai overview. I want to read six wikipedia pages as god intended.

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

how the fuck do yall relax in the presence of another human……how 2 stop performing 

klance i miss you

guy who talks about how unethical mt rushmore is but it slowly becomes clear that he isn't talking about environmental issues or native american land claims and instead believes that a four-headed chimera president was first created and then turned to stone

one thing abt me is i am turning the big lights OFF

(goes to a Chinese restaurant in my hometown) (suddenly remembers I’m gay) oh god the fucking clown...

*shuffling my playlist repeatedly* no obviously i dont wanna listen to that one right now. you moron. you fuckhead. come on. you can do better