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being desi-american and queer is so confusing. my culture despises my very existence, a fundamental part of me. though i can go back to india and im welcomed with open arms because they don't *know* im one of those people. my mother has threatened my life if i ever came out, my grandmother looks at the pride flags around my room with disgust, but im fully aware of the probability that i have queer ancestors and queer relatives. im also fully aware that they will never know of my truth, and neither will i.
i love my country, i love my heritage. why can't it do the same for me?
Pick a new yearâs resolution, warning this is a legally binding agreement and if Iâm 2024 you donât do what you pick, you will be fined twenty five cents
Procure an accessory so flamboyant it makes people do a visible double take
Learn to identify at least one local plant
Buy a canvas. Paint the canvas. Hang the canvas. Thatâs art, baby!
Set the fanciest table you can. Wear your nicest clothes. Eat cheap takeout.
Memorize a poem. Length is up to you.
Skip a rock across a body of water at least four times
Watch a movie from the year you were born
Throw out something you bought with high hopes and have never used
Donate to a charity your favorite character would support
Edit a neglected Wikipedia article
Instead of buying a plant, get weirdly over-invested in a particular local shrub
Cloud gaze until you see one that for sure no question looks just like a horse
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đĽ - How has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized you were queer?
đ§Ą - How has the way you presented yourself (ex. Clothing, hairstyle, etc.) changed since you realized you were queer?
đź - If you used any other labels before your current one, what were they?
đ - Who or what made you realize you were queer?
âď¸ - Is there anyone who helped you accept that you were queer? If so, who?
đž - How queer do you think you look? Would it be obvious to someone that you were queer if they looked at you?
đą - How would your younger self act if your current self told them they were queer?
đ - What thoughts or emotions that didnât make sense to your past self make sense now that you know youâre queer?
đ - How many queer people do you know irl?
đŚ - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest?
đ - When you first learned about the Queer community, did you immediately realize âThatâs me!â Or did you consider yourself a âreally good allyâ for some time?
đŤ - Are there ways you wish you could present yourself differently, but canât?
đŽ - What Was the Moment you Realized you were Queer?
đ - What Label(s) Have You Identified With for the Longest?
đ - How Sasitified are you with your current Labels, if you have any?
đłď¸âđ - Do you enjoy the colors of your preferred flag? Do you incorporate it into your outfits, decor, etc.?
đłď¸ââ§ď¸ - What Flag do you think has the best color scheme?
đ - What's a Queer Identity, Experience or a piece of History you feel deserves more recognition?
tw: male entitlement, emotional abuse, discussion of discomfort around dudes, descriptions of harassment
recently, i've been watching a lot of stuff (cough, tiktoks, cough)
and it really helps me make sense of the way i was raised.
b/c i am self-aware enough to know i have rather conservative and lightly restrictive parents.
which is kinda a joke because they are the kind of parents who let me do what i want, but is it because whatever i do is still okay in their eyes?
I just remember the other day, me and my friend were talking about it at lunch, like so rarely do you find very restrictive parents for guys, especially brown guys.
Like if i want to do anything outside of school, my parents will first ask "who will be there? any guys?"
and like there is a certain list of people that qualify to answer this question. and it usually has to be more than two.
i have never walked to a restaurant that is literally maybe 0.01 miles away from school with my friends after school because my parents said no.
and everytime i meet an indian guy, it's like rubbing salt in the wound. they are free to pursue their passions. they are destroying the academia, playing their way through jazz or other things. being an excellent debater. no matter what they do, they are nice, safe guys even if they lead people on and are generally unsociable.
meanwhile, anytime i speak up, i am rude, loud, annoying, and how dare i give my opinion.
well, i won't say i am the nicest person, but like i do give people chances. for guys, you get the 2 chance rule. i will forgive you twice for anything stupid you do that is a literal obstruction to my life.
I have to otherwise i don't have a legitimate reason for disrespecting someone.
most of the guys on the throwing team for discus and shotput, i hold zero respect for any of them. why? should i respect them for always ignoring what i say? should i respect them for going out of their way to never help me? should i respect them for never and i mean *never* cleaning up after themselves?
Literally a guy from the team shook 4 tied tetherballs in my face. he could have FUCKING HANDED them to me. but he chose to shake them in my face.
another guy kicked my chair during lunch repeatedly. i moved to another chair and it wouldn't stop. i moved back and literally seethed in anger before gathering myself together because my mother would not like to hear that i slapped a dude. i still talk to this guy, but i can never forget this incident. my friend who was sitting opposite to me said that she was going to say something but she saw me about to explode and calm down so she said nothing.
this other guy literally would call my name out whenever he saw me. it's not 'cause he had a crush. in fact, his girlfriend would be standing right next to him and she would laugh too as he kept calling after me and i kept ignoring him. i ignored him because believe me if god gave me strength, i would walk to wherever he was and punch his face in. this was not like a one-time or two time incident. this spanned 2-3 times a week for a couple of months. i changed where i walked, but i could never escape them? like i had to talk to one of my friends who literally called this guy up and gave him a come-to-jesus talk with him.
i often tell people i don't remember things well, and they laugh b/c i'm a straight a student. yes, i have decent memory b/c i pay attention and try to engage with the classroom within the note-taking process. but i can never forget these kinds of incidents.
another thing that happened a year or so ago. we were competing at a track meet at another school and girls varsity was doing shot put while boys varsity was doing discus. so the rest of the guys on my team were just kinda hanging around. one of the freshman and i repeat freshman starts hitting on a senior girl from another school. and without thinking about it, i just make some remark about how this dude's a freshman tryna flirt with her and then we made some light small talk. the next day, the rest of the guys on the throwing team text me saying "you were messing up his game? how could you do that?" and here's I know that's utter bullshit. 1. if that girl's a senior and varsity, she would likely not care about some freshman guy, she could have a boyfriend or be focused on college stuff or just single. 2. a senior girl is not about to accept the advances of a freshman dude 3. this was at a track meet, just before we were about to compete.
like bro, could you have chosen a worse place where conveniently a girl can drop her 10 pound shot put and say "oh, oopsie". like yes, i admit I made a mistake with my phrasing and the fact that i said it, but it did not warrant that kind of reaction from most of the other guys through text.
one thing someone can easily conclude from this is that i hate men. that is incorrect. i do know guys who i get along with. h, a, j, a, t, a, etc. there are many. and most of the time, i get along with my male teachers as well. so. i am not the problem here
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Things people in the notes have been able to do thanks to this post:
eat breakfast
go to bed
get out of bed
take a shower
write
practice
watch Superman Returns and write a paper on it
retain shreds of sanity
I need yâall to know that youâre doing amazing, and Iâm so glad that I was able to help you break out of a procrastination loop you did not want to be stuck in.
Recently, I was standing outside my sonâs classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didnât; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadnât leapt out of his manly path.
Now Iâm wishing Iâd leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, âMy Liege!â
I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.
Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where Iâm the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.
Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friendâs medication, and I didnât understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literallyâone guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because thatâs just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.
I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought Iâd had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.
I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I âlooked like a soldier.â Iâm not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.
Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like youâve been sent to murder Captain America.
ITâS BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldnât find it. Iâm so glad ITâS BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!
In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let âem know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.
If thereâs anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize Iâm not moving for them, I canât think of it atm.
OH MY GOD I HAD BARELY SCROLLED DOWN THIS POST AND WAS GONNA SAY âJUST TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM ME THAT I LEARNT FROM AN OLD TUMBLR POST ABOUT WALKING LIKE THE WINTER SOLDIER FROM YEARS AGOâ BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE THIS POST
I first discovered this a few years ago when I was an insecure 14-year-old, and since then I indeed do the âmurder strutâ and staunch everywhere I go, literally works wonders
Back in HS, other kids would kinda stream behind me like the tail of a comet because I was several inches taller than most of the student population and the Murder Strut was justâŚhow I walked. Amazingly effective.
I get people asking if they can walk with me past dangerous areas because of the Murder Strut plus being Tall.
It still didnât work when I was living in South Korea and carrying groceries home and a dude on his phone was determined to walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk and straight into me.
I use the murder strut at my workplace in a high school. After a couple of years of being banged into by careless sophomores, I started employing it, and it has IMMEASURABLY helped me get through hallways. Do the teenagers know I am thinking MURDER and stalking hard? Probably not, but the body language read definitely projects the authority that I am not the librarian they want to bump today.
If youâre needing to get through a crowd and across a significant distance in a hurry but find it difficult to murder strut at speed - drop your center of gravity. If you dont carry yourself this way often, you may be leading with your chest or your head (like a string pulling you upwards and forward). You need the string to pull straight forward from your bellybutton or pelvis. Youâll find that its suddenly easier to walk faster without moving into a jog or affecting your upper body so much.
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