doing petplay and gunplay at the same time im a horse with a broken leg and you have to just shoot me

Can you not joke about puppets my nephew was killed by a haunted puppet and it honestly hurt me more than his mother

chained up to the mountain, straight up "losing it" and by "it" , haha, well, let's justr say, my liver

"I think I hauve covid" is sort of the modern man's anime nosebleed

was watching a "diy" video and the motherfucker started welding

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says hey buddy when can i fuck your long face

God I wish I could go back in time and be the person who cut peoples heads off with an axe

Why?

There’s something wrong with me

i have a runny nose so im gonna stop by the pharmacy and pick up a curved greatsword to behead myself with

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while! 🙂" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

i have a runny nose so im gonna stop by the pharmacy and pick up a curved greatsword to behead myself with