I bet on losing horses

my uncle took a jolly pill and now his cheeks are round and red and theres a unmistakable scent of gingerbread cookies following him wherever he goes

Tell you uncle to text me

“unite synchronization was a dave theme and it got stolen by dirk” have you considered dirk has a dave theme playing because he’s trying to imitate him :(

I refuse to “vet” anyone I reblog from- I will not learn the in-drama or out-drama, you cannot make me.

Hi, um, I know I was sassy about this earlier, but if I can just be real a second? If you agree with anon- or hell, if you ARE the anon here, do consider bringing this up to a doctor. Because the need for everyone you even reblog from to be “safe” is not a normal or sustainable compulsion. It is in fact usually a symptom. Anon doesn’t have the right to demand others comply with this symptom of course, but it could be that they simply assumed everyone else has this same need. They do not. Consider talking to someone about this, it’ll make you feel so much better.

Ugh, it was in mine. It's off now.

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Rip to y'all, but I'm built different. Trying this tonight

Oh that is a... fascinating smell

Don't do this

Alright now I’m curious

Don't do this

World Heritage Post

i thought maybe it was shitpost but no

Happy Pride

oh so now the blonde secretary is attacking the he/they what a shock 🙄

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

Time to start MAXMAXXING. I will DO EVERYTHING. BE EVERYTHING. FEEL NOTHING. HOLLOW MYSELF OUT AND BECOME THE PERFECT VESSEL. FROM NOW ON, I AM ONLY EATING CANNED SARDINES AND DRINKINKING MY OWN BATH WATER!!! I WILL BE MEWING AND MOGGING 25 MISERABLE HOURS A DAY!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!