Stiles getting hurt in a fight for the umpteenth time and Derek finally has enough. He demands Stiles show up next pack night to start training with the betas. Of course he canāt do everything but he should at least learn how to fucking dodge.
Stiles gets there, dressed in his track suit, a pencil standing next to Boyd but smiling, just happy to be included. Derek has to reign in a sigh before motioning Jackson forward. āYouāre going to spar with Stiles.ā
Jackson looks insulted.
āI could sit on him and break him in half.ā
āYouāre not going to touch him. Itās a lesson in restraint for you too. You learn to pull yourself back. You so much as nick him youāre running the preserve 10 times.ā Jackson grumbles, rolling his eyes but getting into a fighting stance.
Stiles stands in front of him.
āStiles⦠just donāt get hit. Get a feel for how he moves and move the opposite direction.ā Derek instructs.
āCan I hit him?ā Stiles asks and Jackson snorts.
āIād literally pay you for every hit you can land.ā Jackson taunts. Stiles is still looking at Derek though, waiting for permission and Derek waves at him in agreement. If that was the attitude Jackson wanted to have, Stiles is welcome to try.
Stiles nods before mimicking Jacksonās stance.
āYou guys, I donāt think this is a good ideaā¦ā Scott murmurs worriedly.
āRelax, Iām not going to hurt your token human.ā Jackson growls.
āThatās not what I meanā¦ā Scott grumbles but Jackson pulls his arm back and takes the first swing and Stiles is suddenly gone.
Derek blinks in astonishment, watching Stiles sidestep off to Jacksonās right and then spinning so heās behind him. Jackson stumbles forward in shock and Stilesā foot kicks his knee in, causing a loud grunt of pain to be heard from the beta.
āHow much money per hit?ā Stiles asks, semi- serious as Jacksonās eyes glow and he whips around only for Stiles to be standing opposite him again. āAre we talking new Mac book prices or a slurpee at the 7/11?ā
āWhat the fuckā¦ā Erica gasps in disbelief.
āYou guys. I donāt think you understand-ā Scott tries once more only for Jackson to roar angrily and dart forward again.
āJackson!ā Derek demands only to watch as Stiles moves into his space this time. Lifting his forearm and rolling Jacksonās elbow up and out of the momentum of the punch. Itās fluid, quick, and then the human is using the force of Jacksonās own body, bringing his palm up and letting the beta ram himself into the heel of his palm.
Jacksonās gasps for air as hand meets solar plexus and he crumbles down to his knees. The preserve goes quiet in shock. The only sounds are Jacksonās choking breaths.
āI tried to tell you guys⦠Noah had him take karate classes since he was 5⦠Chris has been training him since the Nogitsune. He spars with Parrish whenever heās at the stationā¦Did you all really think heās been able to keep pace with werewolves and take literal hits from us because he was lucky?ā Scott asked in amusement.
āB-But he always gets hurt!ā Isaac cries out in indignation.
āSo do we all! He just doesnāt heal immediately after so it always looks worse. If you all think about it though. He actually gets hit the least out of all of us, even when heās in the thick of it.ā Stiles doesnāt say anything just looks over at Derek and gives him a wink.
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Stiles Stilinski had been deaf since he was three years old. A fever, a seizure, a bad reaction to antibiotics - doctors never agreed on the root cause, and he never remembered the world with sound anyway. His entire life had been built in silence: in the shape of peopleās mouths, in the quake of footsteps through floorboards, in the warmth of hands signing against the air.
He didnāt feel broken. Never had. Just built differently.
And then he met Derek Hale.
Derek was the grumpy, broad shouldered, leather wearing disaster Stiles absolutely should not have fallen for. But he did, slowly at first, then all at once. Derekās signing was clumsy when they met, stiff and unsure. Now it was fluent, soft around the edges, tailored specifically to Stiles. Like a language made just for the two of them.
Derek talked with his hands, and Stiles listened with his heart.
Theyād been dating for almost a year when Melissa handed Stiles the file.
āCochlear implant candidate,ā she had signed, mouthing the words as she always did so Stiles could follow her rhythm. āYour hearing nerve looks good. Your brain processes all the right signals. If you want this⦠you can have it.ā
Stiles froze, staring at the paperwork. A cochlear implant. A chance, maybe, to hear.
He didnāt say yes for weeks. Not because he didnāt want it, but because he didnāt know how to imagine it. Because silence wasnāt something he hated⦠it was simply familiar. And what if the world wasnāt better with sound? What if it was worse?
Derek never pushed him. Not once.
He only signed, Whatever you choose. Iām with you.
That was the thing that did it, in the end.
Stiles scheduled the surgery.
The world after the implant wasnāt miraculous the way movies made it seem. It was pain and pressure and overstimulation and long stretches of confusion. The device had to heal before it could be turned on. Stiles had to wait a month with a foreign thing under his skin, waiting for the day the audiologist would flip the switch.
He didnāt tell Derek he was scared. He didnāt have to. Derek always knew.
And then came activation day.
Stiles and Derek sat in a small, bright room with soft chairs and a machine that felt far too clinical for something that promised so much. Derek sat beside him, knee pressed warm against his. He didnāt try to hold Stilesā hand, not until Stiles reached for him first.
The audiologist smiled kindly, signing as she spoke, āOkay. Iām going to activate it. Youāll hear something⦠maybe beeps, maybe static, maybe voices. It wonāt be perfect at first. Thatās normal.ā
Stiles nodded.
His heart thudded fast enough that he could feel the tremors in his throat.
The audiologist clicked a button.
A crackle of something - electricity? fuzz? - spilled into Stilesā skull. He jerked, breath halting. Everything felt too loud, too sharp, like someone had taken silence and snapped it in half.
He squeezed Derekās hand, nails digging into his skin.
The audiologist spoke again - Stiles saw her mouth move, saw the signs, and also heard⦠noise. Garbled, messy shapes of sound that didnāt quite fit together. He flinched.
Itās okay, Derek signed with their joined hands. Itās okay. Iām right here.
Stiles turned to him and wondered: What does Derek sound like?
The audiologist gestured, encouraging Derek to try speaking.
Derek swallowed visibly. His thumb brushed Stilesā wrist, grounding.
He leaned in, close enough for Stiles to see every fleck of green in his eyes, every tremor of emotion on his face.
His lips shaped the words slowly.
āI love you."
Three simple syllables.
But in Stilesā newly awakened world, they landed like sunlight breaking through storm clouds.
The sound was distorted - deeper, rougher, a little metallic - but underneath all the static, underneath all the unfamiliar sharpness, Stiles heard something warm. Something honest. Something Derek.
His breath shuddered out of him.
Derekās eyes widened, worried, until Stiles let out a gasping laugh, a sound he had never heard himself make, a sound that startled him so much he laughed again.
He touched Derekās face with shaking hands.
āYou,ā Stiles said, or tried to say, because he could hear the way his tongue hit the wrong place, the way his voice wobbled, but he saw Derekās face soften, saw awe flicker across it.
Then Stiles signed it, just to be safe.
I love you.
And Derek, who had spent a lifetime losing people, who never expected to be anyoneās first choice, pulled Stiles into his arms, holding him tight.
Sound buzzed in Stilesā skull, messy and overwhelming, but Derekās heartbeat was solid against his chest, steady and somehow familiar. One thing heād always known, even through the silence.
The first words Stiles ever heard were āI love you.ā
And he couldnāt imagine better ones.
Sound didnāt become easy overnight. It came in waves. too much, then not enough, then too much again.
The world felt sharp in ways Stiles wasnāt prepared for. crinkling chip bags were like explosions, running water like a hurricane, the coffee machine like a dying robot screaming for mercy.
But Derek? Derek he wanted to learn.
The first week after activation, Stiles spent hours sitting with Derek on the couch, legs tangled, processor turned on, eyes fixed on Derekās mouth as he spoke.
Derek would say simple things first, low and slow, giving Stiles time to put meaning to the sound.
āThis is my voice,ā heād say, soft and patient.
And Stiles would listen, memorizing the rumble of it - deep, warm, like thunder muffled by distance.
Heād close his eyes sometimes and try to hear without reading lips, letting Derek repeat:
āDerek.ā
āHale.ā
āStiles."
āBaby.ā
That last one always made Stiles flush, even when it came out warped and buzzing. Because it was Derekās voice, saying it about him, and even if it didnāt yet sound the way Derek felt, Stiles was determined to learn it.
Some days were good. Some felt like torture.
A barking dog could send him spiraling. A dropped fork could make him rip the processor off so fast he nearly flung it across the room. And crowds? Crowds were the hardest. Too many voices layered on top of each other, all sharp edges and no clarity.
The first time Stiles broke down, it was in the middle of the grocery store.
He had lasted five minutes before the clatter of carts, the buzz of freezers, and the chatter of people crashed together into a storm he wasnāt ready for. His vision blurred. His hands shook.
He yanked the processor off his ear and pressed it to his chest, panting.
Derek appeared instantly, stepping into Stilesā space like a shield.
He didnāt speak. Didnāt sign right away either.
He simply placed his hand over Stilesā heart, applying gentle pressure, grounding him. Stiles leaned into him, forehead to Derekās collarbone, breathing in the familiar cedar warm scent.
When Stiles finally lifted his hands, he signed with trembling fingers
Too much. Too loud. I canāt.
Derek nodded and signed back, Okay. Letās go home. Silence is okay.
And that became the rhythm.
Some days Stiles woke up and kept the processor on for hours, learning the world piece by piece.
Some days he wore it only long enough to hear Derek say āgood morning,ā then turned it off again, retreating to the soft, safe quiet heād known his whole life.
Derek never made him feel guilty.
He only ever signed, Your choice. Your pace. Iām here.
And Stiles loved him a little more every time.
ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢
Speech therapy was humbling.
Stiles had to learn how to shape sounds heād never heard before, how to control volume, how to place his tongue and breath. He hated how clumsy he felt, how wrong his voice sometimes sounded, how heād start speaking and immediately wince at the unfamiliar vibrations in his throat.
But Derek made it better.
Every night, Derek would sit cross legged on the bed, wearing the soft, too big t-shirt Stiles loved, and theyād practice.
Stiles would touch Derekās throat as he spoke, feeling the vibration.
Derek would touch Stilesā in return, guiding him gently.
They tried easy words first. āHi.ā āOkay.ā āMore.ā āHome.ā
Derek never corrected harshly. Never rushed him.
And always, always smiled when Stiles got frustrated, leaning forward to kiss the furrow between his brows until Stiles melted.
Still, there was one phrase Stiles saved. One he practiced in secret in the bathroom, whispering it to the mirror with the water running, trying to get every syllable right.
It needed to be perfect.
He needed it to be perfect.
It happened on a quiet night, four months after activation.
The two of them were curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over their legs, a dim lamp glowing warm beside them. Stiles had spent the whole day with his processor out, needing the silence after an especially overwhelming morning.
He only put it on now because he wanted to hear Derek read aloud a book Stiles had memorized years ago, but which sounded completely different when read in Derekās steady, rumbling voice.
Derekās hand stroked absently along Stilesā back as he read. Stiles leaned into him, peaceful, content.
And then, during a quiet pause, Stiles shifted, sitting up a little straighter.
Derek blinked. āYou okay?ā
Stiles nodded.
He took Derekās hand, lifted it, and placed it over his heart.
Then he mouthed the words first, the way he always had, just to steady himself.
Then he said them.
āI⦠love⦠you.ā
The words were soft, a little unsteady, but unmistakable.
Derek froze.
His breath hitched hard enough that Stiles heard it, felt it, too, in the tremor of Derekās chest. Derekās eyes went glassy in a way Stiles had never seen. His mouth parted like he didnāt know how to speak anymore.
Then the tears came.
Silent, stunned tears sliding down Derekās cheeks as he pulled Stiles into a crushing embrace, burying his face in Stilesā neck.
Stiles smiled, trembled, and whispered it again, firmer this time, his lips brushing Derekās ear.
āI love you.ā
Derek shook with it.
He pulled back only enough to frame Stilesā face in his hands, thumbs brushing tear tracks Stiles hadnāt realized were his own.
āYou-ā Derekās voice broke. āGod, Stiles. Your voice. Hearing you say that. I just-ā
Stiles leaned in.
Kissed him slow.
When he pulled back, he signedā¦
It was worth learning for you.
And Derek, who had always been so careful, so gentle, so endlessly patient, held Stiles like he was something miraculous.
Which is to say: the coffee tastes burnt, the fridge is making a noise that sounds ominously sentient, and Peter is sitting at the kitchen island wearing Derekās hoodie like he owns it.
Cora is there too, perched on the counter, swinging her legs and scrolling through her phone.
Stiles is also there.
Which is, Derek realizes belatedly, probably the problem.
Stiles is pacing.
Not the usual Stiles pacing, either. This is aggressive pacing. Arms flailing, words spilling out faster than Derek can track, socked feet slapping against the loft floor like heās trying to wear a groove into it.
āIām just saying,ā Stiles says, gesturing wildly at absolutely nothing, āif youāre going to ignore your phone for twelve hours, maybe you could consider the fact that I might assume youāre dead? Or kidnapped? Or dead and kidnapped?ā
āI was at the shop,ā Derek says, evenly. Calmly. Patiently. Like a man who has had this argument before. āMy phone died.ā
Stiles spins on him. āPhones donāt just die, Derek. They give warnings. They blink. They vibrate. They cry out for help.ā
Peter hums into his mug. āThat last one might be projection.ā
Cora snorts.
Derek shoots Peter a look. āWhy are you still here?ā
Peter smiles sweetly. āYour hospitality is unmatched.ā
āGet your own coffee.ā
āI did.ā Peter taps the mug. āFrom your cabinet.ā
Stiles throws his hands up. āSee? This is what Iām talking about. Zero boundaries. No communication. Absolute emotional negligence.ā
Derek frowns. āWhy are you this upset?"
Stiles opens his mouth.
Closes it.
Opens it again.
āWell maybe,ā Stiles says, voice rising just a little, ābecause when you disappear without telling me, my brain immediately decides youāve run off on some reckless alpha martyr mission and I donāt find out until Iām identifying a body and-ā
āI left you a note,ā Derek says.
āYou left me a Post-it that said āBack later.āā
āThat is a note.ā
āThat is a threat.ā
Cora leans toward Peter. āIs this-ā
Peter nods. āYes.ā
Derek rubs his temples. āStiles. I was gone half a day.ā
āHalf a day is six hours too long when you have a habit of almost dying,ā Stiles snaps. āSorry that I care about you.ā
There it is.
The silence lands like a dropped plate.
Stiles freezes.
Derek freezes.
Peter slowly lowers his mug.
Cora blinks.
Stiles swallows, eyes wide, and then - because this is Stiles Stilinski and there is no off switch - he barrels straight through it.
āI mean obviously I care,ā Stiles says quickly. Too quickly. āBecause youāre, you knowā¦you. And youāre important. And if something happened to you it would be bad. For me. Emotionally. Like, devastatingly bad. World-ending bad. Canāt-breathe bad. Which is normal. For friends. Best friends. Orā¦whatever we are.ā
Derekās brain has left the building.
Peterās eyebrows are somewhere near his hairline.
Cora looks between them. āWait,ā she says slowly. āYouāre not together?ā
Stiles laughs. A little hysterically. āWhat? No. Why would we-ā
Peter cuts in, delighted. āOh, sweetheart.ā
Derek croaks, āWhat?ā
Cora hops off the counter. āWe thought you were dating.ā
Stiles stares at her. āIām sorry, what?ā
Peter gestures vaguely between Derek and Stiles. āThe domesticity. The way you argue like an old married couple. The fact that Stiles sleeps here more than at his fatherās house.ā
āI sleep on the couch!ā Stiles protests.
āWith his hoodie as a pillow,ā Peter says. āAnd his scent soaked into it.ā
Derekās ears are burning.
Cora shrugs. āAlso you pack his lunch.ā
āI pack everyoneās lunch!ā
āYou cut the crusts off his sandwiches.ā
Stilesā mouth opens. Closes. āHe doesnāt like crusts.ā
Derek mutters, āTheyāre unnecessary.ā
Peter beams. āSee? Courtship.ā
Stiles turns slowly toward Derek. āDid you think that we were dating too?ā
Derek finally finds his voice. āIā¦no. wellā¦I didnāt-ā
āYou didnāt think to mention that?ā Stiles demands.
Derek looks miserable. āI thought you knew.ā
āKnew what?!"
āThat I-ā Derek stops. Breathes. Tries again. āThat I like you.ā
The world stops.
Stilesā face goes completely blank.
āOh,ā he says.
Peter hums. āThere it is.ā
Cora grins. āTold you.ā
Stilesā laugh this time is soft. Disbelieving. āYou - wait - you like me?ā
Derek nods once. Then, because apparently today is the day of honesty, adds, āA lot.ā
Stiles sways slightly. āCool. Cool cool cool. Because I-ā He gestures vaguely at himself. āI may have just accidentally confessed my undying devotion in front of your entire family.ā
Peter raises his mug. āWeāre touched.ā
Cora claps. āThis is better than TV.ā
Stiles looks at Derek, eyes bright and a little watery. āI like you too. A lot. Likeā¦ridiculously. I just didnāt think-ā
Derek steps closer. Careful. Like Stiles might spook.
āI was going to ask you out,ā Derek says. āEventually.ā
āEventually,ā Stiles echoes. āWe live together.ā
āI wanted to do it right.ā
Stiles smiles. Soft and fond and completely undone. āYou are doing it right.ā
Peter clears his throat loudly. āSo. Are we interrupting or-ā
āYes,ā Derek and Stiles say in unison.
Cora laughs and heads for the door, grabbing Peter by the arm. āCome on. Let them figure it out.ā
Peter allows himself to be dragged, calling over his shoulder, āUse protection! And labels!ā
The door closes.
Silence.
Then Stiles exhales a laugh. āWell. That was a thing.ā
Derek nods. āWe should talk."
āDefinitely.ā
A beat.
Stiles steps forward and presses a quick, awkward kiss to Derekās mouth.
Pulls back.
Grins.
āHi,ā he says.
Derek smiles back, slow and warm and absolutely certain. āHi.ā
And somewhere downstairs, Peter Hale smiles smugly, because honestly, it was about time.
HEYYYY LOVE!! could you write poly smut of Harlequin x mc x Pierrot pleasee š„¹?? your work is the bestš¹š¹
HIII MY LOVE!!! thank you so much!! i absolutely CAN write greenapplemc >:3
sidenote: im done with finals yayyyy! made good grades hehe <3
WARNINGS: MDNI, smutttt, harlequin x mc x pierrot, harley x pierrot, , AFAB gender neutral reader, spitroasting, cunnulingus, dom top harley, subtop pierrot, sprinkle of puppy pierrot in there just bc, but its not mc doing it >:3, virgin pierrot, they make out while eiffel towering you, mc is tired dawg but they love thier boys, this is fairly harley x pierrot heavy you have been warned, praise ofc though its less than my usual, facefucking, biting, marking, umm if i missed anything lmk
WC: ~4.8k
Dealing with a monster boyfriend was hard. Dealing with two was harder. Dealing with two who couldnāt stand each other was nearly impossible.Ā
The hardest part? Finding a way to involve both of them without one feeling left out or pissed off. Even things as simple as ordering takeout became a feud within minutes, Harlequin demanding something spicy while Pierrot begged for a little sweet treat, the whole ordeal ending with you making them pick up knocked over furniture and cleaning up anything they might have broken- and replacing it. Oh, and you still had to choose what to order. Theyāre lucky you loved themā¦
āDear one, why donāt we just watch The Conjuring again? You seemed to enjoy that one!ā Harlequin offered, trying to aid in the current crisis of not knowing what to watch.Ā
As much as you enjoyed movie nights with your two lovers, they were always a chore to get started. āBecause, itās Pierrotās turn to choose a genre, and heās not in the mood for horror tonight,ā you grumbled, shooting the Harlequin a look. He scoffed.Ā
āThatās because he has terrible taste, dearest,ā Harlequin responded, glancing at Pierrot in a way that could only be described as instigating. You heard Pierrot growl lowly next to you. You turned to him, placing a hand on his chest as you gazed up at him, trying to soothe him.Ā
āDonāt worry honey, itās your turn tonight,ā you assured him. Pierrot tore his gaze from the green monster, focusing his attention on you as he blushed softly at the contact.Ā
āThank you, my dear,ā Pierrot swooned softly, smiling as he looked down at you. āI was thinking we could watch a romantic comedy?ā he suggested sweetly, his eyes lighting up as you clicked on the genre, pulling the list on the screen.Ā
āOoh, that one looks raunchy,ā Harlequin purred excitedly as you clicked through the options. You rolled your eyes, but decided to entertain him, clicking on it to read the summary.Ā
āThat one doesnāt seem bad actually,ā Pierrot murmured upon reading through the plot. Your eyes went wide with surprise. Were they actually getting along for once?
Always an opportunist, you hit play on the movie. āI think so too!ā you chirped, more dramatically than you meant to. You didnāt even read over the plot; you were just excited that they werenāt immediately fighting like usual. Actually, you were pretty sure this was the first time theyād ever agreed on something.Ā
You laid your upper body against Harlequin, feeling his arms rest over your shoulders as Pierrot rested on his tummy, his face smushed against your thighs as he laid lax over your legs. You knew your lower half would likely go numb halfway through the movie, but your sweet Pierrot was comfortable, so you didnāt mind.Ā
The movie was ever so slightly boring, but Pierrotās eyes were glued to the screen. You couldnāt speak for Harlequin, but he wasnāt instigating anything, so you assumed he was at least mildly entertained. Harlequin let one hand gently card through your hair in a rare gentle gesture, making you lean into his touch, closing your eyes at the warm feeling spreading through you.Ā
Your gaze returned to the TV at the sound of soft whimpers. Warmth spread across your face as you saw the two main characters grinding on each other, taking off their clothes in a hurried frenzy. Harlequin chuckled behind you as you stiffened slightly against him. You turned your gaze down to Pierrot, your eyes widening as you caught him glowering up at you, his mask a bright pink as he panted softly.Ā
āYou ok, Pierrot?ā you asked, voice high and timid. He nodded, raking his gaze over you as his hands shook lightly at their place on your hips.Ā
Harlequin chuckled behind you. āPuppyās first boner, huh? Really, dearest, you canāt rely on this one knowing how to please you if he gets this worked up over a simple movie,ā he teased, running his hands down your torso, pawing at your waist as he spoke against your ear. Pierrotās gaze snapped to Harlequin, shooting daggers as he glared at him.Ā
āBe nice,ā you grumbled, sighing. You knew the peace could only last for so long.Ā
Both men ignored you. Harlequin laughed mockingly as Pierrot crawled forward, arms caging you in as he put his face close to Harlequins.Ā
āI know my dear better than you do. I could make them feel better than you ever could,ā Pierrot seethed lowly. You placed a hand on his chest, attempting to softly push him away. It didnāt work.Ā
āOh, sure you could. Tell me, do you even know where their clit is?ā Harlequin asked. Pierrot blinked dumbly up at him.Ā
āUm. Yes,ā he responded simply. God, he was a terrible liar.Ā
āWhere?ā Harlequin grinned, leaning forward to put his face right against Pierrotās, attempting to intimidate him. You looked up, struggling to see Pierrotās face to gauge his reaction. You didnāt need to, his growl sounding through the room as his claws dug into the couch beneath you. āDown, boy,ā Harlequin chuckled. āYou know, Iāve been thinking. Neither of us have had the chance to take our little angel yet, have we? Iāve been dying to hear how pretty they moan for us. Havenāt you?ā he said lowly. Your eyes went wide.Ā
āDonāt I get a say in this-ā you started, being rudely silenced by Harlequin shoving one of his tentacles in your mouth. You huffed.Ā
āO-of course I have,ā Pierrot stammered. His gaze turned to you, looking down with dilated pupils. āI dream of making you feel good, my love. I want to make you feel so much pleasure you canāt take it anymore. I yearn to please you,ā he sighed out, his pupils slowly morphing into hearts the longer he spoke.Ā
āHow romantic~ā Harlequin cooed out. āYāknow, for once we have the same goal in mind! I think we could have some fun with that, donāt you?ā he asked Pierrot. Pierrot was silent for a moment, clearly torn. Harlequin noticed his hesitation. You moaned softly as you felt the tentacle in your mouth roll against your tongue in a languid motion, your breath catching in your throat as it toyed just at the cusp of your gag reflex. The sound made Pierrot stiffen, drool beginning to trek down his mask as he panted.Ā
āIf it means bringing them pleasureā¦ā Pierrot said. You gawked at him.Ā
What the fuck was happening?
Pierrot slid off of you, and you squeaked as you felt yourself being picked up by Harlequin, who began to carry you to your room. You turned your head to the side, barely managing to spit out the appendage in your mouth. āWh-what are we doing, guys?ā you asked, instinctively arching away from a stray tentacle that wormed its way beneath your shirt.Ā
āJust sit there and look pretty, dearest,ā Harlequin cooed, sitting on the bed as he pulled you into his lap. āNow, Pierrot, Iāll teach you where theyāre most sensitive. You just focus on making them feel good,ā Harlequin called as Pierrot kneeled in front of you, his face hovering close to yours thanks to the height difference.Ā
Pierrot scowled at him. āHow would you know if youāve never laid with them?ā Pierrot asked skeptically. Harlequin snickered.Ā
āOh, so innocent, Pierrot. Humans tend to be much more similar to one another than monsters are, itās not rocket science,ā he teased, a tendril curling itself around the plush of your chest, making you shiver slightly.Ā
Shooting Harlequin a doubting look, Pierrot leaned closer, drawing his gaze to yours as he gently cupped your face, pressing his forehead against yours. āSo pretty, my love,ā he whispered out, before pressing his lips against yours. You moaned softly, nipping softly at his lip to make him shiver. His tongue lolled inside, slowly rubbing against your own before wrapping around it. You whined, arching against Harlequin as Pierrotās inhuman tongue filled your mouth.Ā
āAww, so sensitive, dear one. If I didnāt know better Iād say you were just as much of a virgin as Pierrot is!ā Harlequin murmured against your ear, nibbling the shell of it as another moan tore through your throat. āThough, I suppose that wouldnāt be too far fetched, youāre always timid when I touch you~ā
Pierrot growled as Harlequin kept talking. You opened your eyes, seeing his glaring at the green monster behind you. Harlequin just hummed, sliding a tendril under the waistband of your sleep pants, wrapping it around your thigh teasingly. Your head spun as you tried to focus on the actions of both monsters. Sure, youād made out with both of them separately, but feeling the both of them pawing at you made you dizzy with the combined pleasure.Ā
āHave you ever thought about tasting them, Pierrot?ā Harlequin seethed out dangerously. Your stomach dropped as Pierrotās eyes dilated, his gold pupils covering nearly all of the black in his eyes.Ā
āTasting them where?ā He asked shakily, his hands gripping your thighs.Ā
You felt the tendril slowly remove itself from your sleep pants, choosing instead to coil over your sopping cunt from over the fabric. It ground against you lightly, making you rock your hips against it with a soft whine. āYou can figure it out, Iām sure,ā Harlequin teased. Pierrot whimpered, drool dripping down his mask as he shakily lowered himself, nuzzling his face against the appendage separating him and your cunt.Ā
āLet me have it, please. You smell so good, dear one. Please, let me bring you pleasure,ā Pierrot moaned, drooling all over Harlequinās tentacle.Ā
Harlequin gave a soft moan as Pierrot looked up at the two of you, hands gripping at your thighs and pushing them apart. Harlequin moved his appendage to give Pierrot room, letting him lap at your pussy through the fabric of your pants. You groaned softly, arching your hips towards him.Ā
āPierrot, wonāt you take off their clothes? Iāll guide you on how to touch them~ā Harlequin purred enticingly, making the other monster whimper softly. Pierrot looked up at you as he sat up to be eye level, pouting at you needily.Ā
āIs that alright, my love?ā he whispered softly. You bit your lip, nodding. He wasted no time in pulling your shirt off of you, sucking soft marks into your collarbone as you moaned.Ā
āAww, such a good boy, Pierrot!ā Harlequin praised mockingly. Pierrot growled softly.Ā
āNot for you. Only for them,ā he reminded softly, before tugging your sleep pants off of you. Once you were fully bare, Pierrot spread your thighs softly, Harlequin nipping the back of your neck as he watched the two of you.Ā
āH-hey-!ā you called out, feeling two tendrils loop under your knees, pulling your legs wide and keeping them there. Two more pulled at your arms, keeping them firmly by your sides and out of the way.Ā
āHush, dear one~ā Harlequin purred, shoving a fifth tentacle in your mouth. You shuddered at the rough treatment, heat pooling in your lower tummy. āNow, Pierrot, donāt you see how pretty they look? All wet and needy?ā he purred.Ā
āI-is that good?ā Pierrot asked. Harlequin hummed.Ā
āVery good, it means they like when we fight over them,ā he chuckled. Harlequin spoke in a low tone, pressing his mouth against your ear. āIsnāt that right, my sweet thing? You like having two big, bad monsters fight over you like youāre a toy?ā
You moaned softly in response, sucking at the tendril in your mouth as you rolled your tongue against it, arching your hips closer to Pierrotās waiting mouth. Harlequin chuckled knowingly.Ā
He spread your cunt wide with two fingers, making you shiver. āMm, you see where theyāre twitching, Pierrot? Why donāt you try giving that some attention? I bet theyāre awful pent up,ā he teased. Pierrot nodded, leaning forward before licking a stripe up your cunt. He froze slightly, the taste of you making his brain short circuit. His grip on your thighs tightened as he pulled you closer, as far as Harlequinās grip would allow. Pierrot licked and sucked at your entrance, tearing a moan from your throat as he lapped up your arousal.Ā
Harlequin tutted softly, pushing Pierrot away by the forehead. Pierrot growled louder than he had before, this time threateningly. āDonāt,ā he warned, moving closer to you to continue. You stiffened in slight fear as Harlequin pushed him away again.Ā
āSuch a mutt, Pierrot, thinking you can bark and scare me,ā Harlequin scoffed. āIf you want to continue and only think about yourself, go ahead. But if you really want to make our darling sing, Iād suggest you listen to me,ā he said, trailing his hand down your torso. Pierrot looked torn between hating the otherās guts and listening to bring you pleasure. Overall, his need to make you feel good won out.Ā
You moaned softly as Harlequin pressed two fingers to your clit, toying with it lightly as he spoke. āFocus right here. Itās where theyāre most sensitive,ā he advised, moving his hand to give Pierrot room. Pierrot nodded, before rolling his tongue around the sensitive bud, moaning as he felt you twitch against him in response. āGood boy! If only you always listened this well for me,ā he teased, making Pierrot glare up at him. He suckled softly on your clit, making your eyes roll back at the stimulation. He took notice, sucking harder at the bud as you whined. āNot too hard now~ā Harlequin advised.Ā
You groaned as Pierrot softened his approach just a bit, the stimulation damn near perfect as he indulged in you. You felt dizzy at everything that was happening. The two monsters that were normally at each otherās throat were suddenly cooperating, as much as they could at least. More than that, Harlequin seemed to be encouraged by Pierrotās attention. Even Pierrot seemed to be at the very least motivated by the green monsterās banter. That, mixed with Pierrotās sinful mouth- you were losing your mind.Ā
You let out a garbled moan around the tentacle in your mouth as Pierrotās attention moved lower, his tongue pushing into your entrance. You ground down onto his eager mouth, your head lolling back as he filled you.Ā
āPierrot,ā Harlequin warned, his tone disapproving. āSo selfish, you know,ā he chastised. Harlequin gripped Pierrotās horn through his hat, tugging him back as Pierrot whined softly, gazing at your cunt with desperation.Ā
āI want more-ā Pierrot rasped, drool and slick covering his mask.Ā
āWeāll get there in a moment. Focus on their clit for now, or I wonāt let you make them cum,ā Harlequin threatened. You whined in disapproval, trying to turn your head to Harley to voice your disapproval. He kept you still though, grinning against your neck.Ā
Pierrot glowered up at him at the threat, but he latched back on to your clit, his expression softening just a bit as you shuddered against him. Harlequin gave him space, allowing him to suck your clit, smothering his face against you and your scent. Your eyes rolled back as your hips bucked against his mouth, making Pierrot moan around you.
Pierrot kept his attention at your clit for a while, the stimulation driving you up a wall. It didnāt take long for your first orgasm to slowly build, your tummy tying in knots as your thighs began to shake. Pierrot whined against you, sensing your impending release.Ā
āDo you want to make their pretty hole feel good now, Pierrot?ā Harlequin asked. Pierrot nodded, letting Harlequin push him back. You cried out against the tentacle in your mouth, whining at the loss.Ā
āOh, Iām sorry, my love!ā Pierrot chirped, moving to latch onto your pussy again. Harlequin kept him away though, chuckling softly.Ā
āWonāt you trust me here, Pierrot? A little denial goes a long way,ā Harlequin teased. You whined, thrashing fruitlessly against your binds. Pierrot looked conflicted, but he knew Harlequin was much more versed in this than he was. He knew he was forced to trust him. āHehe~ now, you wanna put that long tongue of yours to use?ā Harlequin teased. Pierrot nodded.Ā
āPlease. My love tastes so good, I need to taste you, I need to make you feel good-ā he rasped.Ā
āGo ahead,ā Harlequin instructed. Pierrot lurched forward, his tongue filling you in one smooth motion, making your back arch with the sudden pleasure. He thrusted his tongue in and out of your walls, making you rock against him as best as you could. āYou feel that spongy spot right near their entrance? Try focusing on that,ā Harlequin said. Pierrot listened, rubbing firmly against it with each thrust. You cried out, biting down on the tendril in your mouth, making Harlequin moan at the pain. He rocked his hips against your ass, relieving some of his arousal as Pierrot continued eating you out. He let his tongue bully your gspot with each movement he made, your head spinning at each thrust. Harley brought his hand down again, rolling tight circles around your clit in time with Pierrotās ministrations.Ā
You couldnāt help the tears that sprung to your eyes as your orgasm returned, more intense this time as it threatened to tip you over the edge. You clutched at the fabric of Harlequinās pants, desperately trying to ground yourself against the waves of pleasure crashing over you. āAww, is someone close? Why donāt you cum for us, dear one,ā Harlequin cooed out, keeping a steady pace over your clit.Ā
White filled your vision at Harlequinās words, your legs shaking hard. Pierrot moaned into you, the taste of your orgasm coating his tongue. He lapped your cum up hungrily, growling and moaning against your cunt as you rode out your orgasm. Even once you were past it though, Pierrot kept lapping against you, making you jerk back in overstimulation.Ā
āPlease, too much-ā you whined sharply as Harley removed his tendril from your mouth. Pierrot whimpered softly but relented, pulling away from your cunt with a heartbroken look. You felt Harlequin pick you up with his tentacles, pushing you onto your hands and knees on the bed.Ā
āPierrot, wonāt you go in front of them?ā Harlequin asked, his hips pressing against yours as he ground against you, your overstimulated cunt throbbing in response.Ā
āI want to claim them first,ā Pierrot said, glowering at Harlequin, who simply scoffed.Ā
āYou got to taste them first. Itās only fair I get to be the first to fuck their pretty little hole~ā Harlequin cooed, this clearly being his plan all along. Bastardā¦
Pierrot kneeled in front of you, pulling you up to nip along your neck, biting down hard. You whined at the pain, moaning softly. It felt nice, until he bit harder, and harder, teetering the line between marking and eating. You batted him away quickly.Ā
āPierrot, not so hard!ā You chastised, making him whimper.Ā
āI-Iām sorry, my love, I need to mark you,ā he panted out. You groaned feeling Harlequin lean down to mark the other side of your neck, biting almost as hard as Pierrot did.Ā
āIf you want to get pissy and bite something, be my guest, but bite each other, not me,ā you snapped, sighing in relief as Harlequin let you go. The two monsters stared at each other tensely for a moment, knowing they were both in trouble this time. Finally, Pierrot spoke.Ā
āI am not marking him,ā he growled out. Harlequin laughed.Ā
āCome on now, you canāt tell me you arenāt itching to sink your teeth into me~ā he teased. You looked up, watching Pierrot grab Harlequin by the collar, tugging him in and glaring at him, shaking with silent rage.Ā
āStop,ā you ordered, making Pierrot drop Harley immediately. You sighed. As hard as you had just cum, you were aching to feel them inside of you, and their fighting was getting you nowhere close to that goal. āHarley, you fuck me. Pierrot, you fuck my mouth,ā you said, your tone leaving no room for argument. Harlequin stuck his tongue out at Pierrot mockingly.Ā
āIf you wanted my cocks so bad, you couldāve just asked, dear one~ā Harlequin teased. You paused, your brow furrowing.Ā
āCocks? Plural?ā you asked. You heard him push the pants of his costume down, paling as you felt two tips press against your entrance, his cocks tapered at the end like his tentacles were.Ā
You looked up at Pierrot, a helpless look on your face. āIs this a bad time to mention my knot?ā he asked sheepishly. You watched as he pulled his cock out, the base flared, ready for his knot to pop as soon as he came. You took a shuddering breath.Ā
You were so fucked.Ā
You cried out as Harlequin took advantage of your shock, slowly pushing into you so as to not hurt you. On their own, each of his lengths were impressive, but together? You gripped your comforter tight, struggling to take him, the stretch making your mind fuzzy.Ā
āNgh- so tight, dear one~ā Harlequin grunted out once he was finally seated all the way to the base inside of you. āCāmon, open that pretty mouth for Pierrot~ā he called, reaching forward to cup his hand around your jaw, digging his fingers into your cheeks to make you open your mouth. You obeyed with a pathetic whine, looking up at Pierrot with a needy expression.Ā
Pierrot moaned softly as he rut the tip of his cock against your tongue, one hand cupping your face softly after Harlequin let go in favor of gripping your hips. The monster behind you ground into your hole, the stimulation making you twitch. You lapped at Pierrotās cock before sucking just the tip into your mouth, looking up at him wide needy doe eyes.Ā
āYou look divine, my love,ā Pierrot hissed, shallowly fucking your mouth, ever conscious about hurting you. You moaned around him. Behind you, Harlequin slowly pulled out of your cunt, leaving just the tips in as he massaged the plush of your hips, making you squirm slightly.Ā
You cried out as your body lurched forward, Harlequin driving into you hard before setting a rough pace. Pierrotās cock hit the back of your throat, nearly making you gag in surprise. āSuch a needy slut, dear one!ā Harlequin cooed, fucking you hard as he set a quick, deep pace. You whined around Pierrotās cock, unable to focus thanks to the pleasure wracking through your body.Ā
Pierrot gently tangled his free hand in your hair, holding your head as still as he could as he thrusted into your mouth, just shy of hitting the back of your throat. What a gentleman.Ā
āYour- hah- mouth feels s-so good, my love,ā Pierrot panted out, fucking your mouth shallowly. You moaned around him, your eyelids fluttering at the sweet praise.Ā
You jolted as you felt one of Harlequinās hands trail down your stomach, rubbing two fingers against your throbbing clit in time with his thrusts. You went lax against the two monsters, letting them use you as pleasure tore through you.Ā
Pierrot let out a pitiful, muffled moan above you. You tried to look up, but he was leaned forward, his pretty face just out of your view.Ā
Unbeknownst to you, Harlequin had lifted his mask up, pulling Pierrot in by the collar before crashing his lips into Pierrot's, making him whine as he kissed the other monster back. The kiss was all teeth, full of raw anger and need as they kept fucking you. Harlequin moaned as Pierrot nipped at his tongue, the sting making his cocks throb inside of you. Harlequin bit back, purring against Pierrot as the metallic taste of blood registered against his tongue from the small wound. Pierrot shuddered, letting his eyes flutter shut as he leaned in to all of the stimulation rolling over his body, short circuiting his mind. Harlequin snickered against his mouth. Oh, how he loved virgins.Ā
Once they finally parted, Harlequin chuckled. āMm, I can still taste them on you, Pierrot~ā Harlequin teased, making you gasp around Pierrot's cock. Neither of them gave you time to think about what had just happened though, the both of them focusing their efforts on you. Harlequin angled his hips down, bruising against your gspot with every hard thrust as Pierrot fucked your mouth just a bit harder, the tip of his cock brushing the back of your throat. You drooled around him, eyes crossed as you tried to look at his knot, which was already beginning to inflate.Ā
āNgh- m-my love, donāt- donāt make that face, Iāll-ā Pierrot warned, his breaths becoming shaky. You moaned around him, bringing one unsteady hand up to wrap around his cock, squeezing his inflating knot. āPlease, I-Iām-!ā he stammered, unable to finish before he pulled your face close, his knot inflating in your hand as his cum shot down your throat. You whined, his orgasm triggering your own. Stars popped in your vision as Harlequin kept drilling into you, the unrelenting pleasure drawing out your second orgasm.Ā
Harlequin groaned softly as he watched the two of you come undone, feeling his own cocks twitch within you. āC-close, dear one. You want it inside?ā he asked teasingly. You barely registered his words in the midst of your own pleasure, nodding dumbly as best you could with the cock in your mouth. Harlequin groaned, chasing his own release as his hips smacked into yours.Ā
You whined as you felt his cocks throb inside of you, shooting load after load of hot cum directly against your womb. You squealed softly, your legs shaking as your body begged for a break from the overstimulation, having already cum twice.Ā
Finally, when all three of you had come down from your highs, both monsters stopped. Harlequin slowly pulled out of you, trying to be careful to not further stimulate your overstimulated cunt. Pierrot softly pulled out of your mouth, wiping up a stray bit of cum that had dribbled out with his thumb, only to push it past your lips a second later. You suckled on his thumb, licking up the last bit of cum as Pierrot looked down at you with big heart eyes. He kept your hand squeezed tight around his knot, though he let your sore jaw have a break.Ā
You went lax against the bed, utterly exhausted. Harlequin snickered, as if he, too, wasnāt out of breath. āYou alright, my dear?ā Harlequin asked, patting your thigh softly. You grunted softly, not caring enough to even nod.Ā
Pierrot sighed softly as his knot finally began to deflate. He let your hand go, gently placing it down on the bed beside your other hand. āIāll go grab a cloth,ā he said, a dumb, wide grin on his face. God, heās so cuteā¦Ā
Harlequin watched the other monster leave to the bathroom before silently turning his gaze to you. He watched your limp body for a moment, a conflicted look on his face. Finally, he smirked, standing up off the bed.Ā
āWell, since Pierrotās got you covered-ā he started.Ā
āStay,ā you grumbled out, not giving him an option. Harlequin scoffed, despite the warmth blooming in his chest. He rested atop the covers beside you, lazily waiting for Pierrot to return. The other monster returned from the bathroom, washcloth in hand as he beamed at you.Ā
āIāll clean you up, my love!ā he chirped excitedly, gently maneuvering your body to wipe at the cum staining your inner thighs. You sighed softly, the warm water feeling nice. Once he was done, he looked to Harlequin, a blank expression on his face. He held a second washcloth out to him, his face giving no indication of his emotions.Ā
Harlequin hesitated for a moment, an odd emotion churning in his gut. Finally, he decided to take it, not saying anything in response. He quickly cleaned himself, tossing the cloth back to Pierrot, who rolled his eyes. He placed the soiled washcloths in the hamper before sliding into bed next to you, covering the three of you with the comforter.Ā
āThank you for letting me make you feel good, my love. I think Iām addicted to making you fall apart now,ā Pierrot grinned, nuzzling his face against yours. You let out a breathy laugh, kissing his cheek softly.Ā
āThank you, honey,ā you mumbled, your eyes fluttering shut. Just before sleep took you over though, you reached an arm back, grabbing for Harlequin. You made contact with his shirt, tugging him close as best you could. āThank you, baby,ā you hummed to Harlequin, practically forcing him to spoon you. You let yourself fall lax feeling his arms wrap around your waist. It didnāt take long before your breathing evened out, sleeping soundly in your loversā arms.
Pierrot and Harlequin made eye contact after you fell asleep, emotions neither could explain burning in their eyes. After what felt like an eternity of silence, Harlequin spoke, breaking the tension.Ā
āNever speak of this,ā he whispered. Pierrot nodded quickly in agreement.Ā
āNever,ā he agreed quietly. The two settled in, cuddling close to you, knowing there would be hell to pay if you woke up without both of them there.Ā
Despite their decision to not bring this up again, both monsters fell asleep with the same thought on their minds.Ā
šš¶šš: pierrot x gn! reader Ā· neurodivergent! reader Ā· obsessive devotion Ā· size difference Ā· size kink Ā· cuddling & aftercare Ā· biting/marking Ā· drugging (non-con) Ā· hurt/comfort Ā· possessive behavior Ā· praise kink Ā· soft to dark Ā· emotional manipulation Ā· worship Ā· smut Ā· making out Ā· lil angst Ā· filled with fluff!
ššššš šš¾š:Ā People have always told you youāre annoying. Too loud. Too curious. Too much. So you learn to behave. To bite your tongue. To survive the day.
After work, you go to the circus.
The lights donāt hurt there. The silence listens back. That feels illegal. Pierrot watches. Quiet. Patient. Like heās cataloging you for later. He lets you ramble. Let's you unravel. Doesnāt interrupt when you spiral.
Youāre not sure he understands you.
Heās very sure heās keeping you.
Bite me.
ššø: 10k
Your whole life, people have called you annoying.
Which is funny, considering you were never cruel or meanājust curious. Too curious. The kind of kid who noticed everything: the way people moved their hands when they talked, the tiny scars on their knuckles, the way their voices changed when they were excited. You asked questions because you genuinely wanted to know. You talked because silence felt itchy. You listened hard, then harder.
People didnāt read it that way.
Blunt questions became āinvasive.ā Excitement became ātoo much.ā Distraction became ārude.ā Somewhere along the line, you learned that curiosityāespecially yoursāmade people uncomfortable.Ā
So you learned to mask.Ā
Smile less. Ask less. Hold everything in until it pressed against your ribs.Which is probably why you kind of set a guy on fire at work today.
Not on fire. Just⦠adjacent to fire. His sleeve. The counter. The little āHave a Nice Day!ā sign.
It was the whistling. He was ordering some upside-down, half-something monstrosity and whistlingāoff-key, wet, relentless. The kind of sound that digs straight into your brain and rattles around like loose change.
You tried your coping tricks. You really did. You locked onto the wood grain of the counter. Counted the espresso hisses. Rubbed the seam in your apron pocketāthe good texture.Didnāt matter. The whistle kept peeling the world apart.
Thenāspark. Silence. Screaming. Oops.
And thatās why, as soon as your shift ends, all you can think about is the circus.
Because your job is a masterclass in sensory punishment. The fluorescent lights buzz and glare, exposing every fingerprint, every pore, every mistake. The sounds are constant and aggressiveāmachines screaming on schedules you donāt control, voices stacking on top of each other until they blur into noise without meaning.
The circus is nothing like that.
The light there is warm. Forgiving. Gold and shadow instead of surgical white. The sounds donāt fight each otherāthey belong. Every creak, every murmur, every strange note has intention. Purpose.
At the circus, the chaos makes sense.
Like, for example, Harlequinās laughter is exaggerated on purpose, a performance you can anticipate. Even the quiet in Pierrotās tent has weight to it, a kind of hush you can lean against instead of fighting.
At work, itās the people that make everything volatile.Ā
They arrive pre-fracturedāangry at traffic, at bosses, at their own livesāand youāre simply the nearest safe place to unload it.Ā
A man in a suit slams his loyalty card on the counter because it doesnāt scan, like you personally betrayed him.Ā
A woman sighs dramatically when you ask her to repeat her order, your flat tone translating in her head to disrespect.
āYou could smile,ā they tell you, sharp and entitled, as if your face is a public amenity. They want a cheerful doll, endless warmth on demand. Your neutral focus reads as rudeness. Your concentration looks like attitude. You follow the script anywayāHi, what can I get for you?ābut they hear something wrong in it. Not enough inflection. Not enough fake ease. Itās a test you were never given the rules for, and you keep failing it in real time.
So you cling to the routine. Handle out. Forty-five degrees. Three pumps. No foam. Precision as armor. But it never lasts. A coworker āfixesā your neatly stacked cups. The manager swaps your predictable synthwave for chaotic pop. The oat milk runs out with no warning. Control slips. Again.
The pay is miserable. The tips are worse.Ā
You leave with pennies and a head full of⦠noise.
And through the glare, the noise, the sudden shriek of the steamer, you hold onto one thought, over and overā
You can go to the circus after this.
Even if, when you get there⦠youāre still an outsider.
To Harlequin, youāre a reactive chemicalāfun to poke, fascinating to watch erupt, but ultimately a temporary amusement. He reads your tension like a script and finds your attachment to Pierrot hilariously predictable.
To The Jester, youāre a pebble on his sandāa curious, temporary guest. He allows your presence because you stay contained, nested in Pierrotās orbit where youāre less likely to cause a mess.
To The Ticket Taker, youāre a procedural error. A disruption to his perfect order. Your meltdowns are unscheduled noise, but as long as Pierrot files you away in his corner, youāre tolerated. Barely.
To The Doctor, youāre a live specimen. A symphony of misfiring nerves. Your bond with Pierrot is a clinical curiosityāa trauma clinging to a trauma. Sentimental, but efficient.
They all see it. They know youāre Pierrotās.
To them, youāre exhausting. A liability.Ā
A human puzzle with too many sharp edges. You see it in the way they glance past you, the slight tension when you walk in. Youāre a lit fuse in a tent full of gunpowder.
Except for Pierrot.
For a little context, Pierrot meets you by accident. Or maybe inevitabilityāheās never quite decided which as he stood up for him against other people for hurting him.Ā
He doesnāt come inside your workplace. The lights are cruel, the music tinny and sharp, an insult to everything he is as well. Instead, he lingers just outside the wide front window, a tall, unmoving silhouette stitched into the chaos of the street.Ā
Inside, youāre at the register during a rare lull, body wound tight. One hand rubs slow circles into your own arm without you noticing. Your eyes flick everywhere at once, inventorying tasks, sounds, people, exits. You wear the customer-service smile out of habit, but itās strainedāmisaligned, like it was glued on wrong.
To anyone else, you look stressed. Maybe overwhelmed. Maybe a little lost.
To Pierrot, you look like a clockwork doll wound too tightābeautiful, delicate, trying so hard to function in a world that refuses to slow down.
Then you notice him.
Itās subtle. A hitch in your breath. A pause no one else would catch. Your face changes. The public smile drops away entirely, replaced by something smaller and softerāconfused, relieved, unmistakably real.
Itās just for him.Ā
No performance. No effort.
Pierrot treasures that smile like a secret pressed between pages. He memorizes the way you lift your hand in that tiny, fluttering wave near your hipāhalf-shy, half-excitedābefore youāre pulled back into the grind. To him, itās sacred. Proof that beneath the mask you wear for the world, thereās something warm and unguarded trying to breathe.
You overwhelm him later. Thoroughly.
At the circus, youāre affectionate without realizing itātalking with your hands, touching his sleeve when you get excited, eyes lighting up as you tumble through ideas.Ā
You are a free spirit in the purest sense: endlessly curious, delighted by the strange, desperate to understand and share. You like knowing thingsānot to hoard them, not to boastābut because explaining them feels like a gift youāre dying to give.
You ramble like a kindergartner with a favorite fact. Your joy is loud, unfiltered, infectious.
Yet alone with Pierrot, something happens.
Like when you with him, you soften. Youāre still brightāstill buzzingābut gentler, like youāre handling something fragile. You explain things slowly, carefully, watching his reactions with earnest focus. You want him to understand you. Desperately. And you want, just as badly, to be understood in return.
The problem is⦠youāre never entirely sure he does.
He doesnāt recoil from your intensity. He doesnāt shut you down or look overwhelmed. He simply absorbs itāquiet, attentive, unreadable behind that mask. And sometimes you canāt tell if heās following every word⦠or if heās interpreting you in a way that belongs only to him.
When you shattered the vintage teacups over the misplaced sugar, you frozeāapologizing too fast, spiraling, bracing for correction. Pierrot didnāt see a mistake. He knelt among the porcelain, lifted the single unbroken saucer, and offered it to you like a truth you were meant to hold.
āI donāt see the mess. I see what survived.ā
It sounded beautiful. It also made absolutely no sense.
Thatās the thing with Pierrotāhis words confuse you as often as they comfort you. He barely speaks at all, after all. Heās not allowed to. So you fill the silence instead, rambling, explaining, laughing nervously, hoping meaning lands somewhere between you.
And when it doesnātāwhen you feel too loud or too unsureāyou retreat with him to his wagon.
His wagon. God. His wagon.
Itās all deep reds and golds and blacks, like someone trapped a very elegant, very melancholy sunset and decided to live inside it. Dark red velvet everywhereācurtains thick enough to swallow sound, pillows scattered across the floor in soft, indulgent excess.Ā
Sooo many pillows. On purpose. One corner is arranged just right, clearly intentional, clearly claimedāfor when thereās no show. His quiet time.
Which, somehow, has become yours too.
The light is nothing like the coffee shop. No buzzing fluorescents, no blue-white glare scraping at your skull. Here, it comes from small amber lamps, low and warm, turning everything into something old and gentle, like a painting thatās been loved too much.Ā
The light pools over shelves lined with objects heās collectedāthings that feel important without explaining why. A broken music box. A single white glove. A dried rose sealed under glass. The wagon smells like old books, chamomile, and something cool and clean, like stone. A smell that doesnāt argue with your brain.
And the silenceāGod. It isnāt empty. Itās full. Heavy in the best way. It settles over you like a weighted blanket, pressing the static down until your thoughts finally line up instead of colliding.
Once, the thoughts still won.
You short-circuited right there on the floorālungs stuttering, body locked, words spilling out without permission. You started reciting the molecular structure of caffeine to the wall like it was a spell that might save you. C8H10N4O2. Over and over. Fast. Desperate.
Folded himself carefully onto the floor, long limbs tucked in, hands resting in his lap, palms open. And he listened. Fully. Like you were reciting something sacred. Like every word mattered.
Sometimesāwhen the static in your head was a screaming hiveāhe let you hold onto him. Not in a clingy way. Just⦠enough.Ā
Youād fidget with his hands, tracing the long, elegant lines of his palms, counting the subtle joints in his fingers, lacing yours between his just to feel something real and cool and steady.Ā
Or your hands would wander up, finding his hairāthat shock of white silkācarding through it, twisting the strands, marveling at the texture. It gave your frantic energy a job. A quiet, repetitive task to focus on until the world stopped spinning.
He never moved. Never flinched. Never rushed you. He became an anchor. A paperweight for your soul.
And for a while, it worked.
But in the calmer moments, your curiosity would bubble back up. It was your default setting. You couldnāt help it.
Youād poke his arm. āHey. Do you have, like⦠bones? Or is it all⦠monster stuff in there?ā
Youād squint at the draconic curves of his mask. āAre there horns under your hair? Can I feel?ā
Youād gesture broadly at his serpentine form.
The questions were endless, tumbling out in a cheerful, nonsensical stream. You asked about the color of his eyes behind the maskāamber, you knew, but was it like honey? or like a warning light?, or about how his tail movedāwas it prehensile? could he pick things up with it?, or about whether he got cold in the winter.
One time, mid-ramble about the aerodynamic efficiency of his jesterās cap bells, youād abruptly switched tracks.
āWait, what do you eat?ā
The air in the wagon had gone very still, very fast. The gentle, listening presence youād grown used to tightened imperceptibly. He didnāt pull away, but the silence that followed was different. Heavier. It wasnāt a comfortable silence; it was a locked door.
ā...That is not a question for you, my dear,ā his psychic voice had finally brushed your mind, soft but final, the endearment feeling less like a caress and more like a period at the end of a sentence.
Youād blinked, shrugged. āOkay! Sorry. Anyway, about the bellsāā
Heād relaxed again, the strange tension melting as you happily veered onto a new, safer topic. You didnāt press it. You had a million other things to wonder about.
That was you. Naturally gifted at asking the one question that could pause the universe, and then instantly, blissfully distracted by the next shiny thought. Your tantrums when overwhelmed were volcanic, but your curiosity in the quiet was a sunbeamāpersistent, warm, and landing on absolutely everything, especially him.
He adored it. Every random question was a piece of you he could collect, a glimpse into the brilliant, scattered mosaic of your mind.
But latelyā¦
Pierrot had started to notice your behavior changing.
The way your shoulders creep up toward your ears when you leave the coffee shop, like youāre still bracing for those stupid blue lights to buzz back on. The way you move smaller, tighter. Like youāre trying not to spill yourself anywhere. That spark he adoresāthat sharp, curious, shining youāhasnāt gone out, but itās gone brittle. Taut. One wrong touch from snapping.
It worries him. Deeply.
And then there was that night at the Circus.
The one you donāt talk about. Everything was too much all at once. The laughter from the big top didnāt sound joyful anymoreāit drilled straight through your skull. Your skin felt wrong, stretched too thin, humming with leftover stress from work, from people, from the endless demand to be. You didnāt want comfort. You didnāt want explanations.
You just needed quiet. Real quiet.
So you went to him. To his wagon.
He was already there, sitting impossibly still. That focus of his isnāt just attentionāit has weight. It presses. His amber eyes locked onto you like the rest of the world had politely ceased to exist. And in his handsāthose long, black handsāhe held another gift.
A flower. Again.
Youāve lost count of how many heās given you.
But this one was different. Paper-thin strips cut from something oldāhis poetry, maybe. Centuries of sorrow and devotion sliced into delicate ribbons, each edge dipped in gold. Molten. Permanent. It glittered softly in the low light, all that anguish and beauty preserved forever.
And all you could think wasā
I donāt have room for this.
Not on your shelf. Not in your hands. Not in your chest. The texture was wrong. The paper was dry and whisper-fragile, but the gold edges bit backāmicroscopic sharpness, catching on your skin. It wasnāt something meant to be held casually.
And Pierrot just⦠waited.
Silent. Expectant. Waiting for you to understand. To feel the right thing. To offer the right response. Your mind was already fraying. Tangled. Loud with a single thought you couldnāt swallow downā
I canāt. I canāt. I canāt.
The pressure built until it had nowhere left to go.
You didnāt drop the flowerāyou recoiled, like it burned. The word ripped out of you before you could soften it, ugly and sharp and wrong.
āDie.ā You hurled the fragile, priceless thing across the wagon. It struck a tapestry with a soft, humiliating rustle and slid down the dark wood.
Then the energy had to escape somewhere else. You turned away from him, hands flying up into your hair, gripping hard enough to hurt.
āYou know whatās actually interesting?ā you snapped, words spilling too fast, voice trembling with that wired, frantic edge that means youāre already lost inside your own headāand this time, you donāt notice that Pierrot moved.
He doesnāt flinch. He doesnāt sigh. He doesnāt even look wounded.
He simply moves. Slowly. Carefully. Like every motion has already been decided. He crosses the wagon to where the flower fell and kneelsānot in apology, not in submission, but with reverence. He gathers it up, smooths one curled paper petal with his thumb, and places it on a small, empty stand as though it were always meant to be there. Preserved. Safe.
Then he turns back to you.
Youāre still vibrating, still pacing, your words unraveling into something about thermoclines and surface tension, your back to him as if motion alone might keep you from splitting apart.
Pierrot kneels againāthis time directly in your path.
You almost collide with him.
The blank bone of his mask tilts upward, catching the low light. When he speaks, it isnāt quite sound. It slips past your ears and presses gently into the center of your chest insteadāwarm, steady, startlingly calm.
āThe differentness inside youā¦ā he says, soft as gravity, āā¦it must land somewhere.ā
You freeze. The lecture dies mid-thought, caught behind your teeth.
āLet it land on me.ā
His hands risesānot to stop you, not to restrainājust open. Waiting. An invitation shaped like trust. āI am your relief.ā A pause. Absolute, unshakable certainty. āI will not break.ā
The words donāt soothe you. They unsettle you.
Because you donāt know how someone can offer themselves like that. You donāt know how youāre supposed to land on another person at all.Ā
You sank into it, the plush fabric a predictable pressure against your skin. He didnāt sit beside you. He settled on the floor at your feet, a respectful distance away, his back against the divan, his mask turned toward the quiet room. Giving you space, but not leaving.
Slowly, haltingly, you started to talk again.Ā
It was about the coffee shop. The man whoād whistled. The woman whoād snapped her fingers in your face. The clatter of dishes, the sour milk smell, the crushing weight of a line of impatient faces. It was a jumbled, frustrated dump of sensory grievances and social misunderstandings.
As you spoke, you grabbed the pillow beside youāa sturdy, embroidered thing heād given you for exactly this purpose. You dug your fingers into the fabric, twisting it, punching it softly, kneading your overwhelm into its helpless form.
āThe one who snapped,ā Pierrotās voice brushed against your mind, soft as a mothās wing. āThe sound was an aggression. Would you like me to find her? To ensure her hands are⦠quiet?ā
It wasnāt the first time heād offered. Last week it was about the whistling man. āI could steal the breath from his lips. He would not whistle again.ā He said these things not with malice, but with the serene practicality of a gardener removing a thorn.
You let out a wet, half-hysterical laugh into the pillow. āNo. No, Pierrot. Itās⦠itās fine. Itās just⦠people. Theyāre just like that.ā
āThey are poorly made,ā he responded, simple as fact. āLoud. And sharp. You are not.ā
You werenāt sure about that.Ā
You felt pretty sharp. But you also felt the tight coil in your chest beginning, slowly, to unwind. Your rant tapered off into silence, broken only by the faint plink of a distant bell and the sound of your own breathing. He had watched you reject his soul-gift, rant about random, and then violently stress-squeeze a pillow. And he was still here. Not just here, but settled. Present.Ā
It wasn't just the loud noises or the bright lights anymore. It was a deeper, quieter ache that had started to settle in your bones.
It was the social static. The white noise of existing near people.
It kept happening. A few days after the thrown flower, after the strange peace that followed, the little things began to pile up again. A misplaced key that ruined your morning routine. The neighborās bass, thumping through the floor at a rhythm that didn't match the beat of your own heart.
But worse than the sensory sandpaper was the quiet question that had begun to echo in the down moments, in the silence after the espresso machine shut off, on the walk to the circus:
Why does everybody stray away from me?
Youād replay interactions like a forensic detective looking for the fatal flaw.
Youād been polite to the new barista. Youād explained the cleaning protocol for the steam wand with careful, thorough detail because you wanted to help. Sheād smiled tightly and said, āThanksā¦,ā then turned and never asked you a question again.
Youād shared a genuinely cool fact about the history of public fountains with a regular. Heād nodded, said āHuh,ā and the next day, he took his order to the other register.
You weren't mean. You weren't cruel.Ā
You were just⦠you.Ā
You asked direct questions because you wanted direct answers. You shared enthusiasms because you thought joy was meant to be given away. You listened to the words people said, but you kept missing the invisible script running underneath.
And the verdict, you were starting to believe, was unanimous.
You were the weirdo. The person who talked to themselves at the register. The one who would be startled if someone came up behind them too quietly. The one whose smile never quite reached their eyes because they were too busy counting inventory in their head. The one who could tell you about the tensile strength of spider silk but couldn't navigate the simple, smiling choreography of āHowās your day going?ā
It made you feel like a ghost. Solid enough to do the work, to be seen, but somehow immaterial in the ways that built connections. People drifted past you, around you, away from you. Your differentness wasn't a loud, sparking tantrum anymore. It had turned inward, becoming a silent, sorrowful distance.
It was this heavy, hollow feeling you carried with you when you went to him, days later. Not in a raging meltdown, but in a simmering, quiet fury.Ā
You weren't crying; you were analyzing, picking apart the flawed social contract of humanity with icy, clipped precision, as if by understanding the broken rules, you could fix whatever was broken in you.
Pierrot listened, a statue of attentive sorrow. Then he spoke, his psychic voice a gentle stroke against your aching mind.
āThey are not worthy of your analysis, my dear. Your mind is a pristine blade. They are rotten wood.ā
And thatās when it snapped. Not the old, sparking overload, but a new, cold fracture.
āDonāt,ā you said, your voice flat and foreign. āDonāt call me that. Donāt talk about my mind like itās⦠like itās some sacred artifact. Itās just a brain. A faulty, sparking one that scares people away.ā
The air in the wagon stilled.Ā
You had finally said the quiet part loud.Ā
Pierrot went utterly still, then his head cocked with a sharp, avian distress. You rarely spoke so directly about your own mechanics, and never been this cold dismissal. He took a step forward, a long hand risingānot to grab, but to bridge the sudden, terrifying distance.
āPlease, do not say such things. Do notāā
You backed up, a quick, panicked step, hitting the edge of his writing desk. The retreat was a physical rejection, and it struck him like a blow. You saw his shoulders tense, his amber eyes behind the mask widening fractionally.
āMy sweet angel, do not pull away,ā his voice rushed into your mind, softer now, layered with a desperate, pleading texture youād never heard before. āYour words, any words, even the sharp ones, let me have them. Do not leave. Do not silence yourself. You are the only true sound in this hollow world. My dear, my only light, pleaseā¦ā
He was rambling, the endearments spilling like overripe fruit, sweet and cloying and suffocating.
It was too much. Overwhelming, like always.
Itās like the emotions were a thick syrup you couldnāt swim through. This was his pattern: overwhelm, then soothe with a saccharine offering.Ā
As if on cue, his hand went to a small, mother-of-pearl box on the shelf. It clicked open with a sound like a settling bone. He produced a single, perfect piece of candy, held it out on his pale palm.
āHere,ā his mental voice gentled. āThe sweetness will ground you.ā
It was always pink. A soft, floral pink, dusted in sparkling sugar. It looked innocent. Delicate. Like a tiny, sugared heart.
āHere,ā his voice brushed your mind, softer now, layered with a coaxing tenderness. āThe sweetness will ground you, my dear. It will help the world feel⦠softer.ā
Oh, thoes candiesā¦Ā
Everything you eat one, a memory, thick and syrupy, pushed its way to the front of your mind. The lethargic, fuzzy calm that always followed. The way your sharp edges would blur, your frantic thoughts slowing to a gentle drip.Ā
The way the noise of the world would mute, replaced by a warm, humming static. It felt like being wrapped in layers of pink cotton wool, safe and separate from everything that could cut you. But it was a trapāa submission to a quiet you never chose, a loss of control dressed up as care.
It always made you feel rather⦠stuck.
Revulsion, clean and sharp, cut through the fog of your distress. āI donāt want to bite on something sweet,ā you hissed, and before you could think, your hand swatted out, knocking the delicate candy from his palm. It skittered across the floorboards.
The silence was absolute.
Pierrot stared at his empty hand, then at the lost candy. The stillness was worse than any outburst. Slowly, he curled his fingers into a fist. When he looked back at you, his voice was a whisper of pure, unadulterated need.
āThen bite on me.ā
You froze. āWhat?ā
āIf you need to sink,ā he continued, stepping closer. He slowly, carefully, pulled the black glove from his right hand, exposing the pale skin of his wrist. āSink into me. The candy is a gentle lie. This is a true anchor. Let your turmoil rest here. Let me hold the weight of your wakefulness.ā
Your heart hammered. āAre you mocking me?ā
He flinched. āNever.ā A vow. A prayer. āYou are the only truth. Is it not you and me against this world? So come. Rest on me.ā
He sank to his knees, his offered wrist a pale skin.
āYou need calm. I can give it to you,ā he murmured, his tone moving into something dangerously gentle. āWith kindness. With patience.ā A pause, heavy. āOr with another dose. The pink calm is still here. I only want to help you slip into something softer.ā
He gestured faintly toward the mother-of-pearl box.
āYou need the quiet, my sweet angel. You need it. And I need to give it to you.ā His voice dropped to a tender, horrific whisper. āLet me take care of you. I promise. I promise and promise and promise.ā
The word promise fell like a stone into a well, echoing with the emptiness of all the promises before. Promises to be gentle. Promises to only use the candies when you were ātoo far gone.ā
He reached to tuck your hair behind your ear, his touch chillingly affectionate. āDonāt make me devour you, too. It would be so much easier to just be sweet for me.ā
You just stared, terrified.Ā
The sheer vulnerability in your wide eyesāāoh, it makes my body tremble in so many ways. I-I mean,ā Pierrot froze. The warm amber glow of his eyes behind the mask vanished, leaving only deep, black voids. He couldnāt help but put a hand to his face, a pinkish blush blooming beneath the bone-white surface. His large, black-gloved hand pressed against his cheek as he twirled a strand of his white hair with the other.
āYou must feel it,ā he breathed, his psychic voice a shiver of awe. āAfter all, didnāt you? Such a perceptive thing. So light. So yielding.ā
You didnāt answer. You just looked⦠terrified.
Pierrot sighed, a sound of infinite sorrow. āAll I want⦠all I want⦠is to keep you safe from the world. They treat you so mean. Itāll drive me mad. It will. So the candy helps. The quiet helps. You see?ā
He was terrifying. He said such sweet things with this dark, hungry tone.
He leaned closer, his black-void gaze holding yours. āIf you need to bite⦠then bite on me,ā he repeated, the offer curdling into a demand. He pulled his hair aside, exposing the elegant column of his neck. āBite here then. The sweetness is a lie. This pain is real. I am real. Pour your differentness into my flesh. Let me hold the shape of your teeth.ā
He sank lower, abasing himself completely.
āIf you are going to save me from the silence,ā he begged, his voice trembling with raw, unfiltered acheā
āJust come kiss me. And bite me.ā
Well⦠you didnāt choose the candy.
You took a slow, shuddering step forward. Then another. The terror was still there, a cold wire in your chest, but beneath it was a current of something elseāa desperate, furious need for something real. Something that wasnāt sugar-coated silence.
Pierrot watched you come, the black voids of his mask unblinking, his blush a faint, persistent glow. You reached him, and with a push that was more a collapse than a show of force, you shoved him backward onto the deep pile of pillows and blankets in his corner. He let himself fall, a cascade of red and black fabric and gold trim, yielding completely.
You climbed into his lap, settling against him. You sometimes forgot how large he was, all coiled, serpentine grace beneath the lavish robes. Dressed in his sorrowful regalia of red, black, and gold, he was a monument.Ā
But to you, he was just⦠your space.
Your safe, quiet place in a screaming world.
You nuzzled your face into the cool skin of his neck, where heād offered it. You could feel the slow, heavy pulse of him beneath your lips. You took a gentle bite.
He was a bit sweet. Metallic, like rain on old copper, but with an subtle sweetness. At least he was telling the truth about that.
A sharp, stifled sound escaped himānot a gasp, but a resonant, shuddering hum you felt vibrate through his chest into yours. You didnāt see it, but behind the mask, his amber eyes shattered and reformed, the pupils blooming into perfect, pulsing heart-shapes.
Ahh.
Pierrot was shocked. He had convinced you.Ā
The feeling was an avalanche in his still, silent world. If he could recall the memory in his veins, trace it like a genealogy⦠how long had his cells screamed in search of you? Eons. Now he knew what he had to be. Your anchor. Your restraint. Your sole source of truth. After all, hadnāt Fate discovered the two of you once again?
You kept going. The gentle bite became more purposeful. Not enough to break skin, but enough to press, to test, to claim.Ā
It got Pierrot bad. Bad. Bad. Torturing him in the most exquisite way. A low, ragged noise tore from him, and his large hands came up to cradle your body, his touch reverent and trembling. The cool leather of his remaining glove brushed the small of your back, then slipped beneath the hem of your shirt, lifting it ever so slightly. The shock of skin-on-skin contactāhis cool, smooth fingertips against the warm, vulnerable plane of your lower backāmade you jolt.
Oh, my, oh, my God
His blood was pumping crazy, a wild, frantic rhythm against your mouth.
Oh, my, oh, my God
āCause he knew youād save him. You had to.
Before he could dissolve completely, before he could lose the last shred of his carefully maintained control, you pulled back from his neck. You looked at his mask, at the place where his mouth would be. Then you kissed him.
It was deep, and searching, and filled with all the frustration, the loneliness, the static, and the strange, terrifying trust you had in him.
His eyes widened behind the mask, the heart-shaped pupils blowing even wider. For a second, he was perfectly, utterly stillāa statue shocked to life.
Then he groaned, a raw, unfiltered sound that seemed to shake the wagon, and he kissed you back. He pressed deeper, returning the kiss with a centuries-starved hunger, his hands tightening on you, one buried in your hair, the other splayed possessively against the bare skin of your back, holding you to him as if you were the only thing keeping him from flying apart into a thousand desperate pieces.
Then a thought, hot and clear, cut through the fog in your mind.Ā
You could take all of your frustrations out on him.Ā
Not by throwing things, not by screaming into the void, but like this. By pouring all that coiled, sparking energy into the space between your body and his. And you did feel a bit calmer.
Your fingers, which had been fisting in the fabric of his red-and-black tunic, slid to the intricate golden lacing that cinched his corset-like vest. You began to slowly, methodically, unpick the knots. One. Then another.
Pierrot noticed. His kiss broke with a soft, wet sound. He caught your wrist, his grip not tight, but questioning. A tremor ran through him. āWhat⦠what are you doing, my angel?ā His psychic voice was ragged, breathless.
You looked up, meeting the black voids of his mask. Your voice, when it came, was low, a bit rough, and absolutely certain.Ā
āYou said you own me. With your candies, with your poems, with your silence. You said it. So,ā you gave another purposeful tug on the gold lace, loosening it further, exposing a sliver of the pale, smooth skin beneathā
āhold still and be owned.ā
His gasp was a real, audible thing. As you never such naughty things beforeāwell right in front of him. The hand on your wrist went slack, not in release, but in utter surrender.
You leaned down again, but not to his mouth. You brought his own bare wrist to your lipsāthe one heād offeredāand bit down on the soft, fleshy part of his palm. Not hard enough to wound, but hard enough to make him jolt, a sharp, sweet whine escaping him.
āYesāā
You didnāt stop. You moved, a slow slide in his lap that made him groan, the friction of fabric between you igniting a new, urgent rhythm. Dry, desperate, and perfect.Ā
You were taking your frustration out, and he was yielding to every bit of it. You traveled up his arm, over the corded muscle of his forearm, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses and gentle nips, until you found the place youād bitten beforeāthe tender, vulnerable junction of his neck and shoulder.
You sank your teeth in there, deeper this time.
Pierrot cried out. His head fell back against the pillows, a stark picture of blissful agony. His large hands flew to your hips, not to stop you, but to guide you, to grind you down against him in time with the desperate, rolling thrusts of his own hips meeting yours.
āMoreāplease, more,ā he pleaded, his voice a broken chant in your mind. āClaim me. Mark me. It is the only seal that will hold. The only bond that is real. Bite until your teeth meet my soul. I give it. I give it all.ā
It was a sacrifice. An offering of his very substance. And in biting him, in taking this violent, intimate piece of him, you were accepting it.Ā
You were sealing the fate heād always believed in.Ā
You bit down again, and he shuddered violently beneath you, a sob of pure ecstasy tearing from his throat. His costume was coming undone under your hands, revealing more of him to your teeth, your lips, your claiming touch.
He was somewhat bare below you, the elaborate red and black fabric pushed open, though his mask and jester's hat remained perfectly, eerily in place, and his black pants were still fastened.
Your eyes went wide. Youād never seen him like this. His chest was pale white, like marble veined with the faintest hints of blue, the skin stretched taut over a surprisingly elegant, long frame.Ā
You hadnāt considered the anatomy of it.
āWhoa,ā you breathed, the scientist in you momentarily overriding everything else. Your fingers, almost of their own accord, reached out and touched his collarbone. It was cool, smooth. āYouāre so⦠long. Do you, like, have extra ribs? Is your spine different? How does your⦠everything⦠work?ā
The questions tumbled out, a slow, dazed return to your usual selfāusing curiosity as a compass in uncharted territory. You traced a line down his sternum, fascinated.
Pierrot lay perfectly still beneath your exploration, his breath catching at each touch. The heart-shaped pupils in his amber eyes were wide, consuming.
āYou may map me later, my dear,ā his voice brushed your mind, strained with a patience hanging by a thread. āEvery inch. But firstā¦ā
He moves, rolling you gently until you were nestled beside him in the pillows, facing each other. His gloved hand came up to cradle your cheek.
āMay I⦠leave my bite on you?ā he asked, his psychic tone devastatingly polite. āI promise. I will be gentle. So gentle.ā
You nodded, a slow, mesmerized dip of your chin.
His hands, which could be so frighteningly strong, became impossibly soft.Ā
He undressed you with slowness, each button, each brush of fabric away from your skin. His breath hitched as more of you was revealed. When you were finally bare before him, he went utterly still for a long moment, just looking.
āYou are so beautiful,ā he whispered, the words echoing with genuine, awe-struck reverence. The pupils in his amber eyes had softened from hearts back to wide, circular pools of molten gold, drinking you in. āAll this warmth⦠I had forgotten how it feels.ā
His cool hands skimmed over your shoulders, down your arms, as if memorizing you by touch. Then he bent his head, his mask brushing your skin as he placed a kiss on the hollow of your throat. Then another. A trail of cool, worshipping lips followed the line of your collarbone, the curve of your shoulder.
He was true to his word. He was gentle.Ā
But the intent behind each touch was overwhelming. When his mouth finally settled on the soft skin where your shoulder met your neck, he didnāt bite down hard.Ā
He closed his teeth over the flesh with a careful, persistent pressureāa claiming that was more seal than wound. It was a slow, deep sensation that made you arch against him, a gasp trapped in your throat.
He held the bite for a long moment, a low, resonant hum of satisfaction vibrating through him and into you. When he finally released, he soothed the spot with his faded orange, gold-tinged long tongue, then pressed his masked forehead against yours, his breathing ragged.
He was marked by you.Ā
And now, in his own silent, devoted way, you were marked by him.
Your eyes watched his long body caging you in against the pillows. You could feel the heat of him, the surprising strength in the slender frame. And you couldnāt miss the obvious, heavy bulge straining against the black fabric of his trousers, right where your foot had brushed against it.Ā
A bright, vivid red blush bloomed across the pale skin of his chest and throat, visible even in the low light.
Out of pure, dizzying curiosity, you whispered, āCan I⦠see it?ā
Pierrot went still.
 The amber eyes behind the mask flickered with a mix of shock and sheer, vulnerable want. He was hesitant, a tremor running through him. But to deny you, to displease you⦠that was unthinkable.
āIf⦠if my angel wishes,ā his voice was a strained, mental rasp. āOnly if you wish.ā
You changed positions, gently urging him to lie back. With careful, slightly trembling fingers, you undid the fastenings of his pants. He lifted his hips to help you, a silent, surrendering motion.
And then it was unveiled.
His cock was⦠monumental.
The hue was the same faded, sun-bleached orange of his hair, darkening to a rich, burnt umber at the baseāa technicality utterly lost in the sheer, awe-inspiring presence of it. It was thick, a heavy, beautiful weight that filled your hands when you dared to touch it. The girth was substantial, requiring both hands to circle it fully.
It arched upwards with a slight, perfect curve, designed to reach deep. The tip was broad, a smooth, flared crown, and beneath the skin, thick, roping veins pulsed slow.
Holy shit, you thought, your mind briefly blank.
Itās as big as my face.
āYou donāt⦠have to,ā Pierrotās voice shuddered into your mind. He was propped on his elbows, watching you, his entire body taut with restraint. āEven this⦠you looking⦠you touching⦠it is more than enough. I could just hold you. Just hold you tight.ā
But you were already committed.Ā
Driven by a mix of wonder, affection, and a daring edge of your own. You leaned forward and bit his inner thighānot hard, but a sharp, playful claimāthen kissed the same spot.Ā
āI want to keep going,ā you murmured against his skin, the words vibrating into him.
You blew a soft, warm breath across the broad tip, watching him jolt. Then you gave him a long, slow, experimental lick from the very base of his balls, up the thick underside vein, all the way to the flared crown. The taste was clean, salty, uniquely him.
Emboldened, you opened your mouth and took the head of him inside, just the tip, as your hands worked the massive base.
Shit, heās a lot bigger than expected, you thought, the stretch immediate. But it didnāt matter.Ā
You were fascinated.
Above you, Pierrotās hands flew to his own face, his fingers pressing against his masked temples as he watched you try to take more of him. The sightāyour curious, determined expression, your lips stretched around himāwas unraveling him completely.
āSo cute⦠so⦠curiousā¦ā he breathed, the words fractured.
He was breathing in ragged, heaving gasps. One of his large pale hands tentatively reached out and settled on the crown of your head, not pushing, just resting. A question. A plea.
You met his gaze and gave a tiny nod.
His hand gently applied the lightest pressure, guiding you to take him deeper. You relaxed your throat as much as you could, letting him slide further in until the head nudged the back of your throat. The feeling of being filled, stretched by him, was overwhelming, a hot, claiming fullness.
It was all too much for his centuries of pent-up, devoted longing. The combination of your willingness, your curiosity, your warmthāit shattered his control.
āIāmā!ā
A broken, silent cry echoed in your mind as his hips gave a shallow, helpless thrust. He came suddenly, intensely, with a force that made his whole body arch off the pillows. Thick, hot streaks of cum shot somewhat in you mouth then into the air, some landing across your cheek, your forehead, with shocking warmth.Ā
There was so much of it.
The sensation seemed to shock him back to himself. He pulled out of your mouth with a wet sound, his hands flying to your face, his thumbs frantically, tenderly wiping the mess from your skin.
āI apologizeāIām so sorryāit was too fast, I couldnātāforgive me, my angel, Iāā he babbled, his psychic voice a torrent of embarrassed, worshipful distress.
You looked up at him, catching his frantic hands in yours. Your face was flushed, your eyes wide not with disgust, but with awe and wonder.
āItās okay,ā you whispered, your voice hoarse. Then, with a spark of your old, blunt curiosity cutting through the sensual haze, you asked, āHow many times⦠can you do that?ā
Pierrot went completely still beneath you.Ā
More still than his usual silence. The quiet from him felt⦠stunned. Speechless in a way that had nothing to do with his vow.
You blinked, realizing; you were doing it again.
Dissecting the moment with questions when the moment just was. A flush of self-consciousness burned through the haze of warmth. āSorry, Iāmā Iām doing it again, Iāll justāā You began to pull back, to retreat into the safer space of your own head.
But his handsāone gloved, one bareāflew up to cradle your hips, holding you firmly in place on his lap.
āNo,ā his mental voice was a soft, desperate command. āDo not pull away. Ask. Always ask.ā He took a shaky breath, his thumbs stroking your skin. āAs many times as you want me to. A thousand. Until my jaw aches. As many times as you⦠want me.ā
His words trailed off, significance shifting. You followed his eyeline, glancing down between your bodies.
Oh.
Youād been aware of the firm pressure beneath you, of course. But now you looked. His cock, thick and long, curving slightly against his stomach. The sight didnāt spark a cascade of analytical thoughts for once. Instead, it sparked a feelingāa deep, visceral, wanting pull low in your belly.Ā
This was something you could feel your way through, not think your way through.
And the vibe⦠the vibe was right.Ā
The lighting was warm and low, not distracting. The wagon smelled of old velvet and himāthat clean, stone-like scent. No sudden noises. No demands.Ā
Just Pierrot, watching you with those wide, golden eyes, his hands steady on you, willing to follow your lead, willing to be as silly or as serious as you needed.
Emboldened, you moved your hips, a slow, experimental grind against him. The smooth, hot slide of your wetness against his skin drew a shattered gasp from him. His head fell back against the pillows, the bells on his hat giving a soft, frantic chime.
āYouāre⦠youāre so big,ā you murmured, not with fear, but with fascinated delight. You were practically sitting on him, your own arousal making a slick, messing path between you. The sensation was incredibleāso much so it was toeing the line of too much, a pleasure so sharp it threatened to tip into overload.Ā
But you didnāt want to stop.Ā
You wanted him.
āPierrot⦠please,ā you begged, your voice trembling not with panic, but with need. You lifted yourself up slightly, guiding him with a clumsy, eager hand. āCan you⦠put it inside? Please?ā
He tensed, his hands tightening on your waist. āI do not wish to hurt you,ā he whispered, the words strained. āYou are so small. So warm. I could⦠break you.ā
āYou wonāt,ā you breathed, leaning down to kiss the cool plane of his mask where his cheek would be. āI can take it. I want to. I want you.ā The words felt like a truth deeper than any fact. āPlease. I need⦠I need to feel you.ā
Everything about him was so pleasingāthe contrast of his cool skin against your heat, the absolute focus of his attention, the way he let you set the pace.Ā
You wanted him so, so badly, even if certain touches, certain intensities of feeling, could sometimes short-circuit your system.Ā
This felt worth the risk of overload.
Hesitantly, agonizingly slowly, he guided you as you sank down. The stretch was immense, immediate, a breathtaking fullness that made you cry out. It was a lot. Almost too much. You froze, panting, your nails digging into his shoulders.
Pierrot went statue-still beneath you, every muscle in his long body locked with the effort of control. āTell me,ā he begged, his voice a ragged thread in your mind. āTell me what you need. Do you need to stop? Do you need⦠the candy?ā
āNo candy,ā you gasped out, shaking your head. The intensity was overwhelming, but it wasnāt wrong. It was him. āJust⦠just stay still. Let me⦠let me get used to you.ā
You focused on your breathing, on the feeling of being utterly filled and stretched by him. Slowly, the sharp edge of too much softened into a deep, resonant ache of enough. More than enough. He was stretching you so good, so perfectly, you had to remember to breathe.
Tentatively, you began to move. A slow, rocking grind of your hips.
And the world outsideāthe blue lights, the screaming customers, the confusing social scriptsādissolved into static and then into nothing. There was only this: the warm, amber glow of the lamp catching the gold on his mask, the scent of old paper and cold stone and him, the incredible, silencing sensation of being connected to the one thing in the universe that made your chaotic heart feel still.
You moved up, then sank back down with a soft cry. Pierrotās large hands flew to your hips, his cool grip guiding you, helping you find a pace. His thumbs pressed into the dip of your waist.
āFuck,ā you breathed out, the word shattering the last of the quiet. āYou feel so good.ā
The noise between you became a symphonyāyour shuddering gasps, the wet, slick sound of your joining, the rustle of velvet pillows, the soft, choked sounds he made behind his mask, half-moan, half-reverent prayer.
āYes,ā his voice scraped against your mind, raw and awed. āJust like that. You are⦠perfection. A vision. You take me so beautifully.ā
He watched you with those heart-shaped pupils, his breathing a ragged, open-mouthed rhythm beneath the fixed porcelain smile. His hat was slightly askew, a lock of white hair stuck to his damp temple.
āShit,ā you moaned, leaning forward to brace your hands on his chest. āIf I keep this up, I might not be able to walk tomorrow.ā
āThen donāt walk,ā he growled, the thought laced with a possessive thrill. āStay. Always stay.ā
Fuck it.Ā
The thought was a spark that lit a fuse.Ā
You let go. You rode him aggressively, getting wild, chasing the coil of heat tightening low in your belly.Ā
You fucked him with a desperate, claiming energy, your nails scraping lightly over the pale skin of his chest. You were going to ride him until you were satisfied, until this fire burned out the last of the dayās cold static.
āI⦠I should focus on pleasing you,ā he gasped against your neck, the words fragmented, apologetic, as if heād been selfish. āLet me⦠let me make you feelā¦ā
You cupped his masked face in your hands, pulling him up to look at you. āYou are,ā you breathed, and then you kissed him, deep and sure. He moaned into your mouth, his long tongue tangling with yours, a shock of cool, slick. You pressed yourself closer, wanting him, all of him.
āYouāre so good to me,ā you murmured against his lips, between kisses. āYou take such good care of me.ā
The words hit him like a physical blow of bliss.Ā
A soft, shattered sound escaped him, and when he pulled back just enough to look at you, the expression on what you could see of his faceāthe slight part of his lips, the devastating softness in his amber eyesāwas one of pure, unguarded love. It was a look that promised forever, promised devotion, promised a thousand more quiet wagon nights.
Emboldened, drunk on him and your own power, you pushed at his shoulders.
He understood instantly, letting you guide him onto his back once more. You straddled him, sinking down onto his length with a slow, deliberate roll of your hips that made you both cry out.Ā
This time, you set the pace.Ā
You fucked him with a desperate, claiming energy, your nails scraping lightly over the pale marble of his chest, leaving faint, pink trails. You were going to ride him until you were satisfied, until this fire burned out the last of the dayās cold static and the memory of every judging stare.
He met your frenzy with a worshipful hunger, his hands flying to your hips not to guide, but to feel you move. His own hips arched up to meet your every downward stroke, driving him deeper. The praise in your mind never stopped, a constant, psychic stream of devotion that wrapped around you both.
āYou are everything. You are all. The way you move⦠angel⦠my sweet, demanding angel⦠you ruin me, you save me, you are mine, you are mine, you areāā
His voice broke off into a silent cry as his climax took him again. It hit him harder than the first, a seismic wave that made his body bow up under you, a sound like a shattering bell choked behind his mask.Ā
He spilled deep inside you, his hands clutching you to him with a possessiveness that bordered on pain, as if he could fuse you together through will alone.
Yet you didnāt stop.
The feeling of him inside you, so deep and present, was the only clear thing in the universe. You slowed, your hips making small, small circles, grinding against him, dragging him through the aftershocks and back into a fresh, aching hardness.
He gasped, a ragged, sobbing soundābut it was edged with gratitude, with worship. He was putty in your hands, a sacred instrument you were learning to play.
How many times did he come? The number blurred. Twice? Three times? You lost count in the glorious haze, your own focus narrowing to the single-minded purpose of chasing the feeling, chasing the perfect silence only he could give you.Ā
You were overwhelming him, and he was letting you, welcoming the overstimulation as his due, his reward for being yours.
But even the most devoted saint has his limits.
Eventually, the balance changes. With a low, possessive growl that vibrated from his chest directly into yours, he moved. It was effortless, startlingāone moment you were riding him, and the next the world spun.Ā
You were pinned deep into the mountain of pillows and blankets, the air knocked from your lungs. One of your legs was hooked over his shoulder, the other wrapped tight around his narrow waist, opening you to him completely.
The new angle was devastating. He didnāt just enter you; he claimed the space. He drove into you with a deep, relentless, piston-like rhythm that stole your breath and your thoughts.
āMine.ā
The word fissured through your mind, not a gentle endearment now, but a fundamental truth. He hammered it into you with every deep, perfect thrust.
āMine to cherish. Mine to keep. Mine to fill.ā
He fucked you like he was trying to memorize the very shape of your soul from the inside out. Like if he moved with enough devotion, enough desperation, he could stitch his essence directly into the fabric of your being.Ā
The stark, unchanging bone of his mask was a surreal contrast to the living, sweating, shuddering reality of his body moving above you, the corded tension in his arms, the desperate arch of his back.
You came with a cry that felt like it tore something free inside you. The world dissolved into white and gold, your body convulsing around him, milking him, pulling one final, broken release from his very core. He followed you over the edge with a choked, reverent sound, spilling into you as if he could anchor himself there forever.
He collapsed over you, a trembling, beautiful weight of silk, bone, and cooling skin. His masked face was buried in the crook of your neck, his entire long frame shaking with the aftershocks.Ā
The only sounds in the velvet-dark wagon were the frantic, slowing drumbeat of your hearts, and his soft, whispered mantra against your sweat-damp skin.
āBeautiful⦠perfect⦠my home⦠my love⦠my love⦠my loveā¦ā
You woke feeling strangely⦠refreshed. Clean. The usual morning fog was absent, replaced by a soft, golden clarity. You turned your head on the pillow.
And holy shit.
There was Pierrot, doing a long, sinuous stretch. The man was long of elegant, pale limb, still decently naked, thankfully covered from the waist down by a tangled blanket.Ā
The lamplight caught every detailāand every mark. His neck, his collarbones, the flat plane of his chest⦠they were a canvas of faint, love-bitten blooms. Purpling teeth marks. Your teeth marks.
A flush of heat shot through you, part awe, part horror. You tried to slip out of the pillowed nest quietly, yet before you could get far, a long, cool hand circled your wrist.
āAre you alright, my heart?ā His voice was a sleep-roughened murmur in your mind, thick with concern.
Instead of answering, you turned and buried your face against his lower chest, wrapping your arms around his narrow waist. You rubbed your cheek against his cool skin, a wordless, grounding gesture filled with a tenderness that surprised you both.
He went very still, then his arms came around you, one hand cradling the back of your head. āGood morning,ā he breathed, the words imbued with a reverence usually reserved for prayers.
āGood morning,ā you mumbled into his skin, your voice muffled. You pulled back just enough to gesture vaguely at the marks. āIām⦠sorry. For all of that.ā
A soft, huffing soundāhis version of a laugh. He took your hand and guided your fingertips to trail over the bites on his collarbone. A full-body shiver went through him. āDo not apologize for scripture. I adore it. I adore you.ā
The moment was so perfectly, quietly domestic it almost hurt. Then your phone, half-buried in a blanket, lit up with a notification.Ā
A reminder for your shift.
The real world, with its blue lights and sharp voices, came crashing back in. āI have to go,ā you said, the words tasting like ash.
The change in him was instant. The softness vanished, replaced by a wire-tight tension. āNo.ā His arms tightened. āStay. Please. I was going to make you food. You just woke up. You need to eat. Stay with me.ā
He gently, implacably, pushed you back down into the pillows, then settled his head on your chest, his mask cool against your skin. He was a heavy, pleading weight. āOh, please, donāt leave me. Not yet. The world is so cruel out there. Stay in our quiet. Just a little longer.ā
āI have to,ā you whispered, your fingers threading into his hair, even as your heart rebelled. āI donāt want to, but I have to.ā
You felt him go still.Ā
Then, with a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of centuries of loneliness, he untangled himself and stood. āThen⦠at least let me send you off properly. One cup of tea. For the road.ā
He moved to the small, ornate stove in the corner of the wagon. You watched his back, the play of muscle under pale skin, the way he moved with a silent, focused grace. You heard him whisper to himself, a low, frantic murmur you werenāt supposed to catch.
āJust a little longer. Just a few more hours. Theyāre so tired. They hates it there. Theyāll only break them again. Iām not being cruel. Iām being kind. This is kindness. Keeping them safe is kindness. Theyāre mine to protect. Mine to keep safe. My sweet angel, my chaotic heart⦠theyāll see. theyāll understand itās better hereā¦ā
He returned with a delicate china cup, steam curling with the scent of chamomile and something else⦠something faintly floral, sweet. Pierrot. He helped you sit up, his touch infinitely tender, and held the cup to your lips.
āFor strength,ā he whispered aloud, his real voice a rare, rasping gift.
You drank. It was warm. Sweet. Soothing.Ā
The tension of the impending shift began to feel⦠distant. Muffled. Like a bad dream you were slowly waking from. A heavy, pleasant lassitude seeped into your limbs. Your head felt fuzzy, warm.
āYou know,ā you slurred softly, leaning back into the pillows, your eyes struggling to stay open. āI never really liked that place anywayā¦ā
A profound, victorious stillness settled over him. He took the cup, set it aside, and gathered you back into his arms, tucking your head under his chin. A wave of pure, unadulterated peace washed through the psychic space between you.
You are his salvation through your chaos.Ā
He is your sanctuary through his stillness. You own him with your rage; he owns you with his unconditional, obsessive acceptance. Itās a fated, destructive, perfect bond.
He wouldnāt have you any other way.
And as the drugged tea pulled you back under, nestled safe in the tomb of his devotion, your final, mumbling sigh was a vow and a request all in one, breathed against the skin of his throat where your marks still bloomed:
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This is why I kinda hate those posts that are like āwhy are we all so obsessed with the gay sex show theyāre still just men šā ITāS NOT FOR YOU. ITāS NOT FOR YOU. ITāS NOT FOR YOU. ITāS FOR THEM. ITāS FOR THESE PEOPLE. ITāS FOR THEIR PAST SELVES. ITāS FOR THEM.
One of the things I love about kdramas is that it really subverts what masculinity is supposed to be. You see the loser who's down bad for the female lead (Lovely runner, queen of tears, Love Next Door, Strong Girl Do Bong Soon, the Judge from Hell), you see the soft masculinity in hometown cha cha cha, summer strike and Doctor Slump and extraordinary attorney woo, the protective kind of masculinity in any of Ji Chang Wook's and Ahn Bo Hyun's works, the reassured and confident masculinity of Seo Kang Joon in Undercover High school and Lee Jun Hyuk in Love scout, the playful masculinity in Twinkling Watermelon and Crash Course in Romance, the stoic but gentle masculinity in Doctor Romantic and Hierarchy, and the "I care about you and only you" kind of masculinity in Vincenzo to name a few.
This is progress from the old kdramas and I get that it's fictional and in real life, some of these actors are assholes. But in the era where Toxic masculinity is rampant, I think we can turn towards kdrama to have some inkling of what kind of man we should strive to be and what kind of man we should want. This should not something we see only in fiction. We should raise our sons (I'm 21) to be like this so that one day it's not just a concept for fictional love stories.
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I think my favorite thing about humans are space orcs-style musings is that while the thought exercise is ostensibly about humans being unique in relationship to aliens, in practice it is mostly just an excuse to celebrate the things that we appreciate about ourselves as a species and the world in which we live.
Like yes, you could make a valid argument that "death worlds" are probably common or that other species are also batshit and it's honestly pretty likely that we would consider truly alien environments to be as mindblowing as we imagine ourselves being to other species.
But most of the time when I see people posting in the HASO tag, it's just something cool they noticed about themselves or the people they love and celebrating the joy they feel in being human.
Because really? We don't know what aliens will be like. We have no idea. They could look like anything. But we know that humans poison ourselves for fun, risk our lives to save deadly creatures, pack bond like nobody's business. We're the best endurance runners in the as-yet-known universe. Our brains are so coded for tool use they treat cars and planes and cranes as extensions of our bodies; and so coded for social bonds that we see faces in rocks and trees and teach our robots to sing themselves happy birthday.
And our planet? It has so many kinds of spiders and so many kinds of fungi and so many creatures that like to get pets and SO many animals that will get themselves drunk on fermented fruit or jellyfish zaps if given the chance. Dihydrogen monoxide, the universal solvent capable of dissolving more substances than any other liquid we know, falls from the sky and we dance in it. Our world is deadly as fuck and beautiful in its danger and in its wonder.
At our best, we imagine a future in which we are a benefit and a joy not only to our planet but to the universe. We dream of meeting alien species and inviting them home to meet our parents. We make art imagining all the ways we could be part of a galactic community.
It is sometimes not easy to be proud of being human or to take joy in the world we live in. But then you imagine someone taping a knife to a Roomba and you remember that sometimes, actually, humans can be kind of awesome and it is a privilege to live on this planet Earth.
At the risk of sounding anti-intellectual, I think that college should be free and also not a requirement for employment outside of highly specialized career fields
technically you can, if you don't care about degrees.
Free Harvard courses.
Free Courses from Stanford.
Free Courses from MIT.
Free courses from Yale.
Free courses from Princeton.
Free courses on Coursera.
Free Courses on EDx
Free Courses on Alison
For paid, there's The Great Courses+/Wonderium. 20$ a month for unlimited courses.
When searching, the phrases you're looking for are Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs), or you can do a general search of say, "free online college courses."
Oh, and so you don't get surprised like I did, have an avoid: Hillsdale College is a conservative Christian site and not a valid MOOC place. Sign up with them and you will get things like THIS IS WHY THE LEFT IS TURNING YOUR KIDS TRANS AND GAY in your inbox.
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tumblr is so funny itās just scrapbooking for your hyperfixations. like yeah hereās a gifset thatās here for no reason other than the fact that I think itās Pretty. hereās hugh dancy for the same reason. hereās me rambling about the thing thatās been itching my brain for months. hereās me giggling in the corner. hereās unadulterated mental illness
My uncle was one of the top surgeons in the country. He was upper middle class definitely. When he got cancer, his insurance didnāt cover all the treatments he would need and after 5 years he drained his savings on cancer treatments (while still working most of that time) and eventually died because he couldnāt afford the expensive treatments that might have saved him.
If you are upper middle class and you get sick, it will likely bankrupt your family. Itās fucked.
Honest to god - even if you make 6 figures a year? you're closer to poverty than true wealth. Check your shit and remember who your real allies and enemies are guys.
A 6 figure income is a lot right?
Thatās say: 223,000 dollars a year
Which is 112 dollars an hour.
Most people would consider that upper middle class. Thatās enough money to have a nice house, go on fun vacations. Thatās slight more than the average doctor makes.
223,000 dollars is what Jeff Bezo makes in a minute
There was a wonderful study done about 15 years ago I think, that shows that people cannot accurately identify their income bracket. Most people who own a home think they are upper middle class when in fact they are closer to the poverty line. Even people living well below poverty often identify as middle class. The wealth gap is even worse now. I wonder if anyone actually knows their financial standing.