All you need is... ngk, I don't know

just gotta throw my all-time favourite Giles scene into the mix

Chinese pastries can generally be divided into the exquisite style, the rustic style, and those that fall somewhere in between. The exquisite style is represented by chaguozi茶果子(tea pastries), which originated from the Jin to Tang dynasties and flourished in the Song Dynasty. They come in various shapes of flowers and fruits, and are mostly sweet in flavor. The rustic style is less delicate in appearance, more down-to-earth, and can be either sweet or savory. Chinese pastries can also be classified by northern and southern flavors.

sephardi 

sephardi (ladino) 

ashkenazi 

moroccan

juhuri/kavkazi

bukharian

#imagine what their strikes are like #it'd be especially funny if they did the version of striking where they do actually keep doing their duties #but they refuse to take payment #(i've heard of some transportation or medical workers doing this in the past but i'd have to look up sources idk)

#my point is you summon a demon and try to enter into a contract and they're like #you can have it for free i'm just here so i don't get bored during the strike #the boss doesn't get his cut this way but i can still traverse the planes and fuck shit up

#and you're like?? this has to be a trick?? #but then the walls start bleeding and satan starts writing angry strike busting threats on the walls ominously #and the demon is like just ignore that he can't do shit without us it's all talk let's get back to the details#now who were you wanting to fuck over with my evil specialized skills that absolutely deserve fair compensation?

#and you're just nervously glancing over to the increasingly furious scribblings from the king of hell on your wall while stuttering #uhhh this asshole jerry from work #and the demon is just like say no more! i gotchu #enjoy keeping your soul i'm sure it is so juicy and would be so fun for satan to torture for eternity oh well#sucks to be him he should really come back to negotiations then huh

Me: "Why does it feel familiar? WAIT there was fanart by @talhisgofanart --!"

Paging interested parties: @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @talhisgofanart / @wheeloffortune-design

I posted it on AO3 and also right here. Enjoy.

~~~

Unionize Hell 1080 words

Tomás finished the incantation, and the words seemed to echo through his cheap apartment. He clutched the notecard covered in Latin while he watched the pentagram on the floor. Since he hadn’t wanted to ruin his carpet, it was made of blue painter’s tape. The candles at the points of the star were real, though — handmade black beeswax from Etsy — and he’d used his best plate to hold the blood in the middle. It was red and said “You Are Special Today.” Tomás figured the color had to count for something.

The smoke from the candles was drifting towards the center, and as soon as he realized that, it billowed into an unlikely spiral that grew darker with every breath.

Tomás stepped back, dropping the notecard. He could see a shape taking form in the smoke.

It swirled away to reveal — a man. Tall and thin, with red hair and a red leather jacket over tight black pants. Sunglasses. Sharp grin.

Before Tomás could speak, the man announced, “Today’s your lucky day! Hell’s on strike.”

I'd be happy to. I am assuming you're starting from zero, so these are my entry-level to intermediate recommendations. The RB I believe you're referencing said I had 3-5 websites I send people to and while that's true (myjewishlearning, hebcal, jewishvirtuallibrary, Sefaria), I've written out my much longer list of resources here.

As a nota bene, we're an ancient civilization with about 14 or 15 million people today plus millions of opinionated ghosts. One of the most popular Jewish sayings is "two Jews, three opinions." This is to say, that we are not a monoculture so different sources might have different perspectives and there's a lot of complexity, but most of what is to follow is good for beginner background info.

Also, this is going to be longer than the line at a good bagel place, hope it helps and feel free to ask me follow-ups! WEBSITES

My favorite website to send people to is myjewishlearning. They do their best to be nondenom and represent a variety of perspectives, with a ton of crosslinking. I call it Jewish wikipedia except it's not open edit. A great place to start specifically is their page on denominations. https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-jewish-denominations/ They also have articles on most things you can think of like holidays, life cycle stuff, Jewish food, etc.

Another great source is 18Doors, if you have Jews you can ask follow-up questions of. It's aimed at interfaith couples/families, but I find that a lot of it also works for people who generally have folks to follow-up with.

Frequently, the top answer when you google (or whatever) something Jewish comes from Chabad.org. They aren't wrong per se, but I will caution that they adhere to a specific interpretation of Hasidic Judaism, so just understand whatever they say as *a* Jewish answer, not necessarily *the* Jewish answer.

Hebcal lists the next bazillion years of Jewish holidays, correlated to the Gregorian calendar. Holidays "bounce around" relative to the Gregorian calendar, but generally stay seasonal, you might have a "late" Hannukah towards the tail of December or an early one pushing on Thanksgiving, but you won't see it in like, March or June. [Same for other holidays].

Sefaria is a huge online library of Jewish texts from biblical on forward. Lots of it is translated (by Jews, through Jewish understandings) from the OG Hebrew/Aramaic/whatever, with multiple translation options and commentaries. People also make their own thematic source sheets, which is cool, but I like that it has the multiple interpretations built in to the website.

For quick-and-dirty stats, jewishvirtuallibrary goes hard. They have global population estimates here: https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jewish-population-of-the-world and if you're stateside, by US state here: https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/largest-jewish-populated-metropolitan-areas-united-states.

This might sound silly, but a great way to get to know us is through our food. https://ohnuts.com/ and https://toriavey.com/ are a couple of my fave Jewish food related sites. Would also suggest you read up on kosher (one of the most practical ways to be an ally to Jews in your life). Here are explanatory articles from myjewish learning, and a couple of kosher-certifying agencies: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/kashrut-101/ https://crckosher.org/a-basic-overview-of-kosher/ https://oukosher.org/the-kosher-primer/ Incredibly important NB: not all Jews keep kosher or kosher-style. But if you understand the basic framework of kashrut, you can be a better ally (and a better friend) to Jews in your life who do practice in some capacity.

The Joint Distribution Committee is the largest Jewish philanthropy and focuses on getting resources and supporting smaller Jewish communities around the world. They also have a ton of info regarding smaller communities and how they are doing and their history. https://www.jdc.org/learn/countries/

This will vary locally, but your local Federation website will likely have some information about Jewish people in your specific community/state/whatever.

There are also a couple of really great FB groups that have good backlogs of answers and have active communities answering. RN I'll highlight "A group where non-Jews can ask questions about Judaism and Jews can answer".

BOOKS

MJL has a good list here: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-10-best-introduction-to-judaism-books/ I want to highlight Pogebrin's book, My Jewish Year, specifically.

Jewish Literary by Joseph Telushkin

Jewish Holidays by Michael Strassfeld

Not really a beginner book but I love it anyways because it's a giant guide to cool stuff: The Encyclopedia of Jewish Myth, Magic & Mysticism by Geoffrey W. Dennis

Specific to Jewish women: Women and Jewish Law: The Essential Texts, Their History, and Their Relevance for Today by Rachael Biale. Not a beginner book, but good reference nonetheless.

Hungering for America by Hasia Diner compares turn-of-the-century Italians, Irish, and Jewish immigrants in NYC. Kinda specific and not "general background info on Everything Ever," but I think it's A) really cool, B) gives a lot of good background, and C) incredibly accessible.

Youtube/TikTok/Videos

https://www.youtube.com/@SamAronow. Sam Aronow has sooooooooooooo many videos about Jewish history from a variety of angles. He also has a denominations explanation video, somewhere.

UsefulCharts isn't a Jewish channel on the whole, but I like his videos on scholarly explanations of religious texts (including the Tanach, which is the Jewish bible). He's coming at it from a scholarly point of view, although he is Jewish as well.

Miriam Ezagui does a lot of YT and TT, and she's specifically Chabad, but I find that she's very clear in her videos that she is coming from that specific perspective as an orthodox Jew and specifically a Chabad one.

Frieda Vizel is ex-Hasidic (Satmar) and does a lot of content about her former community, but it's very compassionate/balanced when she does critique and not "I left because Everything is Always Horrible." Her focus is Hasidism but she does some general stuff as well. I really love how much Jewish joy she shows even though it's no longer her brand of Judaism. NB: Relatively speaking there aren't a ton of Jewish creators who get amplified outside the community. Why I think that's the case is a song for another time, but thems the breaks ATM. I also find that most people who get traction are either verrrrry Reform or verrrrry orthodox, and while both those are valid paths, it is something to be aware of when you see content that many more middle-ground perspectives are absent. So like the Reform Jew telling you kosher isn't a meaningful part of their practice and an Orthodox Jew telling you about the stringent, detailed kosher rules they follow at home and elsewhere are both giving correct Jewish answers, but represent two different ends of a spectrum. I also have theories on why these two types of creators get the most airtime, but that too is latkes for another lunch. I'd also caution when watching a creator who presents their way of doing Jewish as The One True Way. I've seen this from both orthodox creators and reform uber-progressive creators. Like if someone bangs on about how x practice is "outdated" for everyone or that all Jews must do x holiday this specific way it could theoretically be true, depending on the context, but it should get the spidey-senses going.

In-Person Experiences

Many synagogues/JCCs/Jewish orgs have fundraisers or events that are open to the public. Hannukah events, movie nights, and food festivals are quite popular. Don't show up unannounced/uninvited. Unless it is explicitly stated that the public is welcome to just show up, ask ahead if you can come and if RSVPs are required, do that. This isn't personal to you being not Jewish. This is a safety thing. It also has the benefit of you then having someone to ask about appropriate attire and event details.

If you are in college, you can contact the Hillel or Chabad on Campus, both of which specifically serve Jewish college students but are often accustomed to having gentiles hang out sometimes. Hillel is "nondenominational" but in practice often leans Reform or maybe Reform/Conservative, Chabad on Campus is Hasidic Orthodox. Both regularly have both social events and religious events. If they're amicable to it, you can join either for a Shabbat dinner as someone trying to learn. I don't suggest just showing up, email/DM/whatever the coordinator or director or whatever because again, safety.

Events that Jewish orgs put on with other communities. Some of this is interfaith, some of this is with other marginalized communities, or just for funsies. These are especially great because A) folks tend to be in learning mode and teaching mode and B) the food tends to slap.

Jewish / kosher restaurants are a thing, YMMV by location.

If you really wanted to go the extra mile, there are intro to Judaism classes by synagogues and other orgs that A) cost money and B) are a time commitment. While these often are the first steps in conversion, I want to emphasize that not everyone who takes them is converting or potentially converting, and getting (potential) converts is NOT the goal there. Some are Jews wishing to fill in gaps, some are the interfaith partners or families, and some are friends of the community generally.

Also, I need to emphasize that Jews read stuff very differently than the average person. It so happens I'm reading a Telushkin book right now (Jewish Wisdom, which is actually a companion to the Jewish Literacy mentioned above), and straight-up looked at a page and went "....Rebbe, your internal consistency is bullshit and this opinion of yours is bad" and then kept reading. Because he has a lot of good wisdom to share! But Judaism is unique in that the seminary is a very recent thing, and it really only exists to make sure a minimum level of Torah and Talmudic education exists. There is no "higher human authority" in Judaism. You can, in fact, look directly at a rabbi and tell them they're wrong, and while it may be rude, it's not heretical or anything.

previously on . . .

FANDOM DOES TZEDAKAH

Signups opened and closed for our intrepid heroes! Browsing opened 5 June on dreamwidth before they must navigate bidding from 10 June until 15 June, just in time for our mid season finale on 17 June when the winning bidders will be notified.

What will our intrepid heroes find as they browse through the offerings?

Find out on today’s episode of . . .

FANDOM DOES TZEDAKAH

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The version that works as a tumblr banner:

And the original post with a bolder font, suitable for profile pics

Hey, y’all, it’s Weird Wednesday! Where on some Wednesdays, I blog about weird stuff and give writing prompts.

Today: The Crying Boy: The UK’s Most Famous Haunted Painting

Welcome on this Weird Wednesday! Today we’re hanging a haunted painting on the wall and hoping it doesn’t burn our house down. Sound fun? Then come on in.

What’s fun about paintings (especially portraits) is that, like mirrors, they can be a little creepy. You’re looking at a representation of a person, which is not a person—but in some sense, it is. You can get the same effect with dolls, or people in masks: a little bit of the uncanny valley phenomenon, where something is almost human but not quite, and that’s kind of spooky.

And where do people typically keep paintings, mirrors, and dolls? In their homes. Homes are supposed to be our safe havens, but in the case of a haunted house, your home is no longer entirely your domain. You don’t even get to say who gets to live there with you. And in the real world, what’s most dangerous to a house is fire. The loss of a home to fire is devastating, partly because all your possessions go up in smoke as well.

So a really great scary story would be something like a popular painting, commonly displayed in homes, which is haunted and causes house fires—and you know it’s haunted because the painting is the only thing that doesn’t burn. Sound delicious? The Sun tabloid in England certainly thought so, and they were right.

In 1985, The Sun ran an article claiming firefighters kept finding a painting of a crying boy as the only remnant of house fires. They spiced up the story over the next few months with tales from readers claiming the painting was cursed.

Check out the blog post for the whole story and some writing prompts, such as:

Firestarter. So if the painting causes fires, someone could potentially use it to, you know, cause fires. You could write a character with a grudge against a neighbor or local business, who gives the painting as a gift, hoping for the worst. Or a firebug who uses the painting as his MO, tossing it into a building and enjoying the aftermath. He could have a nemesis in a local firefighter who has to enlist a medium to figure out the fires are being started by a little boy who doesn’t exist.

DannyeChase.com ~ AO3 ~ Linktree ~ The Vampire Haven erotic romance series ~ Weird Wednesday writing prompts blog ~ Resources for Writers 

𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎?