REVOLUTIONS

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

after they got married, shane and ilya decided they needed to do new things together. pick up some hobbies outside of hockey so they could actually spend time together away from the rink and forget about work. which was a great, in theory, except it turns out they literally cannot do any sport or anything that even slightly involves competition cus they turn absolutely everything into a battle. like they tried tennis and suddenly it’s the finals of wimbledon. they tried bowling and it’s life or death. they tried golf and ilya is accusing shane of cheating while shane is accusing ilya of distracting him on purpose. even painting they somehow turned into an argument about who piece would it be more expensive. things got so bad that most places have actually banned them by now. they have a reputation around ottawa. and new places get warnings about them before they even walk in. but they’re having way more fun trying all these new things than they ever would have just picking one and sticking to it. in the end the whole point was spending time together and they’re doing in their own way

That's because this is Silmarillion

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

ever since I was a little girl I’ve been a bitch