all of the things.

i'm close ☹️

Im being edged at Aldi

God I’m so hungry I could eat a h- *looks around nervously to make sure my friend Devin, the Talking Horse isn’t nearby* phew. Well I’m so hungry I could kill and eat my friend Devin

It was a clitorical question

Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

you're not making enough of stone fruit season. that's another thing you're fucking up. a few dozen stone fruit seasons you get your whole life. you need to take a hard look at your peach and mango consumption.

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

my hobbies? adding movies to my watchlist and books to my to-read list

do it scared. do it whimpering. do it whining and pleading. do it with a raging hard-on

I just learned about this recently from a Viking reenactor! Indigo dye isn't blue until it oxidizes, so when you dye with indigo your cloth or thread doesn't come out of the water blue, it comes out and then reacts with the oxygen in the air and seems to spontaneously turn blue in front of your eyes. It's a really cool process to witness.

write it anyway even if you think it’s bad. a badly written fic is still better than a nonexistent fic.

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

having lunch and someone's watching cnc videoes loud as fuck style so i'm just here chewing my food while there's sounds of water jetting and steel screeching in the back

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: I am confidently asserting that my first pass interpretation of this post was the correct one /End ID]

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.