Raz

You know now (not then) that power comes through and from favors.

If you had known that then you would probably not have done so many.

(This is where it starts.)

One.

There is a strange creature crossing the road behind the lecture hall. You stop on your bike and frown at it. It looks a little like a turtle, but it’s limbs are longer than any turtle you’ve ever seen. It’s stretched out on the hot asphalt, long, pale limbs clawing forward towards the small stream that runs on the other side.

 You hop off your bike and gently pick the creature up, hands under the belly of the shell like you learned from the internet.

Imagine your surprise when the shell slides off the creature instead, dropping a tiny woman onto the asphalt.

“Water,” she croaks, tiny eyes screwed shut.  Her eyelids are the size of yours which means they’re huge on her. “Please.”

(You will not know until later what exactly please means to the fae.)

You feel yourself move through your shock. You pick her up and take her to the water’s edge. She slips under the surface, pale skin flashing like the scales of a fish, and she’s gone.

You’d wonder if your roommate slipped you something this morning if she wasn’t back a moment later, pushing a small rock into your hands.

“A boon,” she says. Her eyes are large and black, suited for her underwater world. “For a favor.” She smiles, showing teeth jagged and sharp like a piranha.

When you blink, she’s gone.

You stare at the rock in your left hand. It’s smooth and worn from years in water, an interesting swirl of granite and quartz. “I wish I knew,” you tell it.

The rock ices over so fast that you don’t have time to drop it. The frost swirls across your skin, burning you where it touches, and you watch in horror as your skin turns a mottled black and blue.

 You fall to your knees from the pain and choke on a scream as the stone sinks into you, touching your bones and sending more ice through your marrow. It climbs up your arm and touches your eye, changing you vision so now that you’re see double, a strange, blue world juxtaposed next to the one you know and love.

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

GROND

Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*

Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]

Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.

Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.

Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-

Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?

Gandalf: No, no.

Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.

Elrond: *wordless sputtering*

Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]

Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter. 

Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?

Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]

Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]

“Henlo I am big twuck pwease give me wots of woom tank u :)”

American trucks are bred for long hauls on largely straight roads. They can go for hours without a break. A European truck needs more breaks and a lighter load, and they would indeed take great internal damage if they tried to keep up with the Longsnout.

The European Shortsnout is not bred for looks, but for agility! They navigate the windy roads of Europe in a way that would be way too risky for the powerful, but more clumsy American truck. It is true that the European overheats faster at high speeds, that is the very reason that breaks every 4,5 hours are mandatory for both the truck and the handler and a day of driving can never be longer then 9 hours.

I would also like to point out that the tags have got it backwards. The wild trucks (which I’m pretty sure are extinct in the wild now) that all modern breeds stemmed from were shortnose trucks. We had known about automobiles and domesticated several species, but the truck species was not discovered until close to the start of the 1900’s, in Germany, which I BELIEVE was the first country to breed them in captivity, although England was the first country to really start using them for work. I managed to find a photo of taxidermied specimen

As you can see, it resembles both long and short nosed breeds, as well as the far more common house truck used by individuals instead of for commercial work.

Pics for reference:

The classic long-nose schoolbus

1:When did you lose your virginity?

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

5: Favourite sex position?

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

12: How often do you have sex?

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

40: What do you wear to bed?

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

53: Do you watch porn?

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

58: Booty or Boobs?

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

65. What is your bra/penis size?

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

68. When was the last time you had sex?

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

71. Guys:Circumsized?

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

80. Favorite sexual position? 

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

82. Are you into any BDSM?

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

84. Do you like dirty talk?

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

Me vs. work, stress, anxiety

It’s gym time!

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”

Two pages later… “What do you know? I’m in command”

“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.