9 rats pretending to be a person

my three favorite things are the oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities

this cheese was aged by sending it to the beach that makes you old

my "suicidal hermit" lifestyle has been largely detrimental to my emotional wellbeing

white people love to jump on a post critiquing white supremacy and being like "as a white person [rehash of how white supremacy is bad]" can you just reblog the post and go. can you just be quiet or make your own post if you absolutely must

putting carbonated water in my super soaker and spraying it at dogs (they absorb the bubbling nature of the liquid and begin to ascend into the sky) (thousands watch in awe) (no one does anything) (the sight is, in essence, divine)

im about to catsit next month for a (lovingly) crazy woman who is so deeply obsessed with her cat's care its touching truly. he needs insulin shots and she is telling me that shes going to send voice notes to my phone of her saying "copo! baby! its time for your insulin!" "come here handsome!" "its insulin time sweetie!" so that he feels safe getting his insulin from a stranger. im like girl i love it. i love this

she was telling me yesterday "sometimes i look at him and he looks at me and i feel like we can hear each other's thoughts. is that crazy" and i was like "no of course not"

dont leave me out

I’m so sorry