The Bar Rat

Love love love characters that present themselves as emotionally open social butterflies but the more you see of them the more obvious it is that they’re the most closed off fuckers in the story. Sure, they want to help you with your personal problems and messy emotions, but if you turn that shit back on them, they’ll shut down or deflect every time. Why are you sticking your nose in their business anyway? It’s not like it matters. They’re not a person, they’re just a role being played. They’re the guy who fixes things and saves people. Please ignore the man behind the mask, he’s fine. Everything’s fine.

This is the folk music version of that LAN party where they duct taped a guy to the ceiling.

Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??

you ain’t a real bard until you seduce your way out of at least 19 situations that would normally end in combat

You’re not a real bard until you make your DM cry because you seduced the Big Bad that they’ve built up to for 10 sessions

A true bard

i could fuck a thunderstorm if i really put my mind to it

come back to this future me.

dearest followers i regret to inform you that thinking with my cunt has once again led me perilously and irretrievably deep into a vast system of underground tunnels

It’s always “why did you commit regicide” and “your covered in blood” and never How was the treason The treason looked fun was it fun

manhandling is so fun like sure u can put me over there i don’t mind