IKEA's Labyrinth

nsfw = nosfewatu

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

The what???

???

I don't know what to tell you man.

skateboard will be so fictionalized that people forget we all have one inside of us. like the war of course but like they arent just fantasy creatures.... its just In There

When i die donate my skateboard to science so they can do sick tricks

yes

the problem with getting kidnapped by jigsaw is that I'd probably get impatient and start going for it before the instructions played, and then if I learned I was doing it wrong I'd be too stubborn to change my methodology. so I'd be waving around my severed hand like "look, I did it" while he's just like "the key was in the dog. you had to eat the smelly dog to get the key."

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually