never take for granted the moments when youâre not nauseous
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

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@randomthingsinmyheart
never take for granted the moments when youâre not nauseous

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literally the worst way of ending a series is âall the survivors are happily straight married with tons and tons of babies!âÂ
people still getting mad at this post i made in 2014 so I will add here. in 2026. that the point of this post isnât âhappy endings badâ its when the storyâs only way to imagine a happy ending is a heterosexual nuclear family for everyone.
As the person who got their R keyboard broken and the world mocked me for being forced to use the uwu language as replacement
My condolences
put that back
National Lampoon, October 1985
they're on a video conference
going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

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english major macklemore: i read your granddadâs prose
therapist macklemore: i hear your granddadâs woes
coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddadâs joes
body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddadâs nose
pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddadâs doughs
television network executive macklemore: i make your granddadâs shows
wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddadâs crows
blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddadâs throws
sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddadâs foes
rapper macklemore: i spit your granddadâs flows
we were sitting across from each other in the living room reblogging back and forth like it was a life-or-death yu-gi-oh duel
then what
Someone asked me a while ago if I still had a photo of the worst sink I had ever seen while apartment hunting in Los Angeles. I assumed I deleted it so I didn't answer the ask and now it's gone, but as it turns out, yes, I do still have a photo of it.
"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

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i made this to celebrate the Mistle Thrush, then realized it was Tuesday
I used to think âsoupçonâ was a French word for crouton and I used it as the French word for crouton for a long time and nobody stopped me.
Soupçon actually means âsuspicionâ and the reason nobody called me out on this is because I would use the word to imply the idea of something sprinkled on top of something else ala croutons. If someone said, âA soupçon of homoeroticism,â I thought it meant âSomeone sprinkled homoeroticism on this story like croutons on a delightful Caesar salad.â
I wrote multiple essays that used soupçon as a noun with this translation in mind and I got a degree and this haunts me.
Thereâs no point to this post, itâs just very important to me that you know that I can be quite stupid
fuck its Already like 100 am
I think about this cake every day
sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious
OP, I hope you donât mind me making an addition:
When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as weâd done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake youâd write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, âHappy Birthday Courtneyâ. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.
The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name âJuanâ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (Iâve never seen âMileyâ without the E, either, but itâs believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where Iâm one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?
This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me âCourtney Mily Jaun Pabloâ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.
I love a botched cake.
one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said
No One Like You
now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"
for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU âšď¸đ"
I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

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bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis
From top-of-frame, a month flutters into the wallet. Confused, the bat looks "up" to see an equally-confused human standing "above" her, holding an open wallet containing a single $100 bill.
Camera rotates to reveal bat has been hanging upside down above a human doing the exact same visual gag and each ruined the other's bit.
Laugh track.
All so true. Why is the human Jon Arbuckle
LAPTOP DEATH FILE PURGATORY IS OVER I HAVE MY CRAP BACK
however i do think i scared the repair ppl by materialising at their door in 3 seconds