random_shane_fanatic

“Ilya wanted to touch him and know that he was really, really okay. He had barely slept last night. He'd spent the whole night sick with worry and refreshing sports sites looking for news of Shane's injuries. He couldn't close his eyes without seeing Shane's unmoving body on the ice.

I know i have already discussed this ad nauseum, but I love that Shane never talks down to Ilya because of his weaker english skills. especially at the beginning when he’s just moved from russia. he just talks like he would with anyone else.

Ruminating on the times when Ilya’s desire for control doesn’t lead to positive behavior. His encounter with Shane in Sochi, for example. There’s REAL WORLD fear there about being caught in a compromising position in Russia, yes. That is a huge factor here, so I don’t think he’s in the wrong. But also, Ilya at this point wants to be in charge of when him and Shane participate in displays of emotional intimacy. Minutes ago (for us) we saw Ilya kindly and earnestly join Shane in his first penetrative sexual experience, worrying throughout about Shane’s comfort and pleasure. Kissing and touching him tenderly. But as soon as Shane kisses him on the forehead, Ilya has to go. And now Shane is approaching him in Sochi, reaching out in friendship. I saw you up here. Are you okay? And I think part of Ilya is like nah. I decide when and how we are tender with each other, I set the tone for this, and right now we are strangers, or must be strangers, so go before I have to say something truly mean, for your own good, because I know best.

like ilya spends his entire life being told (by people objectively shittier than he is) that he’s not good enough, he’s lazy, he’s undisciplined, he lets people down. and then he meets the one person who would actually be in a position to assess whether ilya is any of those things, and shane just earnestly looks into his fucking soul and says no, they were wrong. ‘you’re an awesome player to watch’ ‘i don’t know that side of you at all’ ‘this isn’t what this is. me and you’