if there is a god, he's the bond that's between us

drunk shane dropping down onto ilya’s lap and running both hands through his curls with that dopey little frog smile, “y’re so soft ☺️”

Im so bad at conversations If i have ever left you on seen im sorry i just started talking yesterday

*looking in the mirror* You are not shane hollander. You are a friendly, charming, driven young woman. Not shane hollander. Do not think, "I am shane hollander"

ilya been hanging out with troy, bood, dykstra, and some of the rookies for a while now. troy glances at his phone and goes “holy shit, roz has been here with us for three whole hours” and bood’s eyes go wide like “you’re right” and then he looks at ilya genuinely concerned and asks “is everything okay man? are you and hollzy fighting or something?” and right on cue ilya’s phone alarm starts blaring and without missing a beat he chugs the rest of his beer, stands up and goes “bye” and just walks out, leaving the whole table staring after him in complete disbelief. troy turns to the rest of the guys and asks “did he really just set an alarm to time how long he was gonna hang out with us?” and dykstra says “he absolutely did” and bood just shakes his head and goes “it’s insane but also completely on brand” and dykstra adds “i’ve never seen anyone more obsessed with their partner than he is with his husband” and troy just shrugs and goes “it’s shane hollander” and everyone just nods like that explains everything.

they want us to stop making posts about hockey player spitting in each other's mouths while having gay sex. but we must persevere

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.