Rakdos Cackler

Sadly, this is only the beginning of Lion's uh... misteps.

Bonus:

So, as I was trying to get to sleep last night, my mind wandered. And, as it sometimes does, it wandered to thinking about HTP. And then I had a thought....

We know that Big-D was in Norfolk, Virginia at some point. Well, as good as. We basically know that he was in the house of an uncertain amount of corpses on account of the Garg-O's horse soap.

We can surmise Anton was with him, because we know from Alfabusa's YouTube post that he's into wrestling and such and one of the rooms is all about combat sports.

This is supported by the Norfolk, Virginia prescription that Polydora lifted off Big-D. And, more importantly, an ID.

With this, we can make the reasonable assumption that Anton's full name is Anthony Sausage.

So, as I lay in bed, trying to get to sleep, I had the thought. "Big-D married and had a kid with someone called Sausage?" And then I remembered, according to patriarchy, most places have the woman take the man's name. If you think about that, Big-D's surname would have to be sausage, wouldn't it?

But even knowing that, where does that get you? "D" Sausage? And that's when it happened. As my eyes fluttered closed and Morpheus embraced me, I had a flash of inspiration!

Behold! Big-D's real name!

At the bottom of the list is Castellan Garran Crowe, of the Grey Knight Purifiers. Though I'd probably say he's the least certain of the three, I think it is possible that he could resist the Ring's temptation through sheer force of will. His job s already similar--he guards the Black Blade of Antwyr, a powerful Chaos Sword that will corrupt you if you ever use it's power. If anyone could resist the One Ring's power through force of will, he probably could. Though, considering my own headcanon that Purifier Castellan is basically a sacrificial rank where your soul will be taken by the blade and the current castellan is just whoever can last the longest, maybe he's not as well suited to the task.

In the middle is Ciaphas Cain. Cain is just generally competent, and he's not particularly ambitious--the man just wants to live. Sure the Ring could grant him immense power, but that would just result in him being forced into more situations where he has to be the Hero of the Imperium, situations where he could very easily die a horrible, painful death, something he really wants to avoid.

This is an excellent question, with multiple answers depending on your personal perspective.

Based on an individual potential level, the wettest and driest faction is the Drukhari. Haemonculi can, obviously, produce extremely and eternally wet individuals via their surgical prowess. At the same time, an unfed Asdrubael Vect is so withered and has a pussy so dry that it actively increases the barometric pressure of the room he's in.

On an overall basis, the wettest faction is that of the Nurglite collective, which is at all times producing, storing and coated with a vast assortment of liquids and substances that renders them delightfully slick, greasy, moist and, indeed, wet at all times. Some of their liquids even beget other liquids. Others exude a wetness across multiple dimensions. Incredible.

Via the same metric, the Necrons are indeed the driest faction overall, with the total percentage of wetness being minimal or even entirely nonexistent depending on the state of a sample group's core flux at any given time.

grounded: serious thought is given to how the evil wizard's army is managing the logistics of feeding a dragon, even if that doesn't come up directly on the page

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS THE MOST REPRESENTATION WE HAVE HAD SINCE BEFORE THE FUCKING AUSTRIANS TOOK US OVER

Jokes aside i love this coffee adicted Kryptman analogue

Even if he pronounces his "r"s like he was born in the same hospital Door was in, and his "Kurva"s wouldnt pass anywhere east of like France. I blame the Belgians around him.

Anyway now actually i get why the team wanted to keep Kryptmans VA even if i would combust with newly found patriotism if they got a Czech person to voice act even a minor character. That being said huge Credit to Ki McKenzie the Canadian VA that tried their best with the pronounciationa and managed to make it comprehensible to a Czech person. This is not a backhanded compliment our language is fucked.

That has the same vibe as shitty husbands who say the divorce came out of nowhere, when in reality their wife had been trying to talk to them for like 5yrs before pulling the rip cord. That's painfully self-centered, entitled asshole talk and we know that's extremely on brand for our boy.

Logic dictates a few different things.

Lorgar knows damn well the Emperor hates religion, he knows his father is not on board with the proselytizing, that he's repeatedly and firmly stated he's not divine. Lorgar knows what the Imperial Truth asserts. He's just decided he knows better, which is wild behavior from a guy who insists he lives to serve his god. Lorgar loves talking about submitting to the will of a higher power but if he actually gave a shit about that, it would look like him keeping his faith to himself and maybe, at most, practicing in private. Yet he doesn't, because he has such a monstrously huge ego, it allows him to believe he knows better than the man he views as a god.

He knows what the deal is, but he decides to do his bullshit anyway and then pulls a surprised Pikachu face when it blows up in his lap.

It's not because it genuinely came without any warning, it's because Lorgar is an entitled narcissist who has been operating under the belief that the rules don't apply to him; he's a special exception and he's correct, so he gets to do what he wants.

He's shocked by the destruction of Monarchia because his mind could never have conceived of a scenario wherein he isn't granted full carte blanch to do as he pleases by virtue of the fact he's the special son of a special man. You see this with how he later interacts with the Custodes after Monarchia; he has mini-tantrums at them when they do their babysitting duty, as if he thinks it's reasonable to believe the beings programmed on a molecular level to obey the Emperor's every word will defy the Emperor simply because Lorgar commanded it.

Even when Malcador shows up to give him his official face-to-face warning, Lorgar is still going full-blown "MY FATHER WILL HEAR OF THIS". Meanwhile, anyone with a lick of common sense would be able to deduce that Malcador isn't here just because he feels like making Lorgar's life harder. Lorgar's brain won't let him accept that, so they literally have to bring the Emperor down in person to put the boot to his neck. That's the extent they have to go to to finally penetrate his narcissistic delusion. Hell, even then, he's still arguing with the Emperor until his father has to use psyker abilities to make him shut the fuck up. It's honestly insane how resistant Lorgar is to being told to cut it out.

It makes you wonder how many other times in the years preceding Monarchia that Terra tried to talk to him while he just went "Mm...nah, no I don't think so :)"

Also the Emperor is consistently reluctant to throw Primarchs in the trash. You can be pretty fucked up and he'll still figure out a way to use you. See: Angron, Curze, Mortarion, etc. He'll find workarounds. He'll give chances. Even towards the end of the Heresy, Sanguinius is pretty sure the Emperor would forgive Curze, even after everything he's done. It takes so much shit for Big E to finally order Curze's death.

And in no way am I saying this is driven by paternal sentiment: the Emperor spent a lot of time and money and a chunk of his soul on creating the Primarchs, he's already had to kill two, he's not eager to throw away any more priceless resources.

So it should be very telling that the Emperor was going around in the lead up to Monarchia, asking the other Primarchs if they believed he should just say fuck it and kill Lorgar.

This tells me that efforts had been repeatedly made to get Lorgar to shut up and sit down over the course of 200 years, but nothing was working. If anything it speaks to the Emperor's patience; he'd probably been sending "Lorgar, stop it" emails for decades.

The Emperor considering making Lorgar a third Lost Primarch implies he was beginning to suspect there was no way to salvage the situation, that he had to go big as a last ditch effort.

Which ultimately makes Lorgar even less sympathetic. He likes to pretend "Woww Terra allowed me to think I was doing right by the Emperor for years, only to humiliate me and my sons for no reason without any warning. I'm being abused. This is abuse."

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.