The Grey Tribe

Reading a pornographic story on your phone quietly and feeling vaguely aroused: idgaf

Thinking about stuff that makes you feel aroused: how tf would I know unless you tell me? I don't care but I don't want to hear about it

Seeing your fetish in the wild and getting a bit squirmy and turned on: again I'm not going to know unless you tell me. I don't care! Just text your friend about it like the rest of us

As long as you aren't irritating me I don't give a shit what you're doing or thinking about or how aroused you are

Just don't like, masturbate or watch porn videos on the bus where people can see and hear it. And my objection to that is not that it's horny it's that it's objectively rude

I would also get annoyed at someone picking their nose and flicking the boogies about or playing non porn videos loudly on the bus

Clearly I need to get my mind into the gutter more!

"Hey NL can you play something else please?" Um, you are a spiritually weak person. This is The Mind Game, okay? This is the only thing I've played all month that's actually real. If you want to be pandered to, if you don't feel like moving your jaw up and down, that's fine, the feed troth is right there on the home page. If you want something to chew on, if you want the T-bone steak, I mean... That's not this, man, but it's not Silksong either, I can tell you that much.

I think we take the poison on the right here.

[The Giant's Drink kills him for the 13th time that stream]

Okay, okay. We've made that mistake before. And we'll make it again.

"Bro just quit it's impossible" It's actually the most possible game that has ever existed. There's two choices! It's red or black, and you're telling me to cash out because you want to play blackjack. You're more fucked than I am, you know that, right? It's called the gambler's fallacy for a reason. If it was called the gambler's sage wisdom, maybe I'd hear you out, but right now, man, we go again.

"ifs and buts when candied nuts walk into the room" Yes, man, yes. Exactly. I don't really know what that means, but you're onto something with that.

[10 seconds of silent gameplay]

"it's a psychoanalysis tool, you're not supposed to beat it" I got news for you, buddy: all games are psychoanalysis tools. You really think if I was playing Pokémon right now, I wouldn't be running around going like, [hunches over and puts on reedy nerd voice] "I could really use a Cluckigree right now for the grass-type gym, but Cluckigree only spawns if I have a fighting-type egg in my third item slot, so I have to catch two Judokairns on Route 309 and leave them at the–” It's not a closed environment, little bro! Everything exists in reaction to something else, [becomes insanely angry] and the shit that you elevate exists in proportion to your own decroded reaction to it! Maybe it started as a five-course meal, but you're throwing it back up and telling me to eat it! I'm not gonna fucking do that! Okay? Every time I drink the poison, we learn a little bit more about ourselves, and then, as a result, the world around us changes. That's life, man. You're not supposed to beat that either, but everyone still goes for a personal best, you know?

Left poison or right poison. What happens if I say no poison and just kick this guy's ass?

[NL ignores both goblets and kills the giant]

Yes, dude! [laughs manically] That's why you fucking drink the poison, man! Do you think I would be this excited if they just told me I had to kill the giant three hours ago? There's so much more genuine passion in that than having five hundred chatters yelling detailed instructions on how to beat the Seven Muses in Hades 2.

"you can't say that" They're people, what's wrong with telling you to fuck them? Formics get horny sometimes! I'm pretty sure, um, I've never– [laughs sheepishly] Look. Obviously I'm not saying you HAVE to be attracted to bugs. But like, holding the invasion against them as a species? Do you know what we did to them? None of us should be fucking anybody, man! We're all born with blood on our hands!

"didn't you commit xenocide" [high-pitched and defensive] I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING! I WAS ELEVEN YEARS OLD! They fucked me, man! [laughs] And just to be clear, when I did find out, I felt reeeeeally bad. Like, not to get too real here, but it fucked me UP for a few years there. So like, least I can do is help them repopulate the hive.

She asked me what I was eating and I told her "a hot dog with ketchup and Sauerkraut" and the idea of putting Sauerkraut on a hot dog so threw her for a loop that she completely dropped her persona

Finally, unwillingly, he did look up to see King Mickey’s face contorted with a terrible fury. “Then I shall found my own Church,” the king said. “And grant my own divorce.”

“What of your compassion?” Donald’s voice cracked and it was a moment before he could go on. “It is not meet that you abandon your wife when she most needs you. If she truly is insane - ”

“It is my compassion that keeps me from ordering her beheaded,” the king said bitterly. “I fear that you have misunderstood me, my old friend. I did not say she was insane.” 

Rising from his throne, King Mickey paced across the throne room to stare out at the peaceful green grounds of Disney Castle. He was not seeing them, Donald was sure, but some other, darker vista, conjured by his imagination.