Thirty years ago today, my favorite album and one of the most important albums in rock was unleashed onto the world. During one particular Hole show, Courtney Love answered a male heckler with "You want to fuck me? I'm not a woman, I'm a fucking force of nature!". In these twelve songs, listeners all over the world got to hear for themselves what a force of nature Courtney truly is.
The first time I heard Courtney Love screaming in "Violet", I felt like my soul had been ripped in half. I was an angry kid from a broken, abusive home, and her ability to wail into the aether resonated with me in a way that nothing else did. The older I got, the more her lyrics made sense to me, and I came to identity with this album not just for its angry moments, but its fragile moments as well.
Courtney spent much of her childhood being passed around between family members, group homes, juvenile centers, etc. because nobody wanted her or knew what to do with her. At the age of fifteen, the vice principal of my high school waited until I walked ahead, turned to my mom, and asked, "What's wrong with her?". Well, Vice Principal, a lot was wrong with me, and I wasn't interested in hiding it.
Courtney Love never hid all of her flaws back then, and she still doesn't. In a 2010 interview, she quipped "Maybe I'm just 'deeply wounded'...maybe that's why screaming feels so fucking good". Likewise, listening to Courtney scream gave me the courage to scream too, and now I'm doing it in front of other people semi-regularly.
To this day, the Vice Principals of the music industry are still mouthing "What's wrong with her?" about Courtney, and they don't even try to hide it. The truth is that she is the embodiment of a phoenix, rising from the ashes time and time again. She survived when most predicted she wouldn't. She lives through this, and she'll keep living, and ultimately, so will I.
Something is wrong with us, and thank god for that.
blakekathryn
discoholicmusic
germansingergirl
stormborns
