HATE:WRECK:PERIL

Apparently the original “sound booth” was in, like. A shed. And that’s why there’s the echoes

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

I admire they kept the Sonic the Hedgehog naming convention

combine eight pieces of UNCLE TECH SCRAP to create one random UNCLE DEVICE

Here in the great cosmic mistake we call western civilization, vast swaths of ppl are utterly convinced that terrible misfortune either only happened in the past or only happens in other places. This is an article of faith which supercedes the evidence of their own eyes and ears. I dunno what to do with these people. Trying to talk to them about current events that are currently eventing right in front of them is like trying to talk to a cartoon elf from a tv show for babies. They're like "[thing that was literally on the fucking news a day ago] could never, ever happen here in Happyland where bad things never happen, and talking about it makes me sad. Why do you want to make people sad? :( Nobody's sad in Happyland. :)"

Open your Rockford Chakra