motherfucker unlimited

god i would destroy a philly rn even if i had to eat it off the ground in front of a beautiful cyber womans giant titanium high heel boot and she can kill me and resurrect me with reality bending powers and the cheeseteaks got like dirt on it and its wet and cold and not appetizing and not healthy and the cyber woman tortures me every night in a empty featureless white porcelain room until i die and she brings me back to life the next day for it all to happen again bro i cant even remember the last time i had a philly i just need a bigass heavy greasy yummy cheesy sammy rn with onions, chhese, fuck me sauce, tomato, arizona, honestly dying is the best part after the whole build up

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

ughh. why does my head hurt

I hate being aware that my frenzy meter is filling

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

Oh 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂! You didn’t tell me you had a beast in your home. You’ve got a little goggyee. Eh- BOGGY. A poopy dog. A buppy- a little 𝐹𝑈𝐶𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺 ƊOƐGGУ. I’ve never seen a reell dog before! We only have Lego® Dogs on Lego® Island. 𝒪𝒽! Oh FUCK! Oh fuck nooo! This red bastard’s got teeth! Sharp teethh. He’s going to tear me into little Lego® pieces. I’ve never been so scared in my life! WHAT THE FUCK this is like a jumpscare from Five Fuckers at Uncle Festers. GET ME THE  𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂  OUT OF HERE!

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

goodness gracious girl those tits are fucking fat as shit. hey what's up. they call me Insect Nightlife and every life decision i've ever made has ended up hurting someone at least in some small way. can i borrow 10$

It’s called ‘being able to see the corpse’

So if I put you in an L-shaped swimming pool, and you knew there was a corpse around the corner, you'd be fine?

loving the implication that I'm a little animal and you're a scientist putting me into various bodies of water to test my corpse:water ratio tolerance