We also know we can prime women to perform worse at brain games just by telling them they’ll be measured against men, or that women “typically don’t do as well” even if it’s not true.

Because all women and girls live in sexist societies worldwide, one of the ways we get around this is creating certain learning environments and competitions that are still just for women/girls.

My teacher didn’t apply for grant funding for these programs because she thought girls were stupid.

liberals: >:(

weirdo: it’s a sex thing???

So someone was talking about how her ex sexually assaulted her, this woman moves across the country and is only dating women now. Fast forward, her ex has moved closer to her and is now transitioning, MTF. Obviously she’s distressed and being like wtf why is this person so close, someone comments:

I’ll abbreviate the blog to TMVP, which was created specifically to address the sexual violence “TME” people experience from “TMA” people, and it’s really no coincidence that when people speak of “TME” people, they’re speaking of transmascs. The blog exists within the TMA/TME framework, yet the existence of the blog clashes with the ideology the blogger claims to support.

For those unfamiliar, TME means “transmisogyny exempt”, supposedly means “everyone that isn’t a trans woman”, although really the only people it’s ever used for are female people. And TMA is “transmisogyny affected”, so all TIMs.

The blogger describes themself as a TME trans neutral, so a nonbinary identified female person. For anyone reading this, I advise caution and distance since their age is not confirmed, they could be an adult, they could be underage, but regardless they are in an immensely vulnerable state. I’ve blocked them for their sake so they do not have to see this.

They’ve recognized that the TIMs of the trans community often get away with sexual assault and that transmasc survivors are silenced, this is something they’ve had a personal experience with, and there’s a clash between this experience and trying to maintain transgender unity and solidarity, since pointing this out, even when using TRA language. It is still drawing attention to sex based dynamics, which goes against “transfeminism”, as sex based oppression is not real in their theory, not only that, but it is outright dangerous. It does not matter how strongly TMVP hates “TERFs”. As expected, people in their inbox try to bait them into agreeing with radical feminism, and they react harshly and strongly. Unfortunately for them, “TERF” isn’t actually a real category, so they don’t need to be a radical feminist or believe in sex based oppression to be considered one.

Yes, even if they believe that trans women are systemically oppressed, and trans men have privilege, and TMA/TME is real and they abide by that framework strictly. They’re a female person who ventured a bit too close to voicing what looks like sex based oppression. Even if they claim they aren’t and their argument is that transmascs aren’t listened to because trans women are so marginalized, nobody believes transmascs, which is not acknowledging sex based oppression, and still appeals to “transfeminist” theory, any further speculation upon this ruins the whole illusion. It is dangerous to TRA rhetoric.

Mousidy is particularly cruel about this

There is a lot more. They’ve been sent gore. Their pinned post has nearly a hundred hate comments. Their entire blog is just filled of brimming seething hatred directed at them. They have practically no allies outside of a small handful of people, as other transmascs tear them down hard, and the TIMs do what they do best in this situation, death threats, suicide baits, guilt trips, manipulation. They see no allies from radical feminism and reject radfems firmly.

This is what happens when you acknowledge male violence to any extent within the trans community. You simply can’t. While this individual may hold firm in their trans rights advocacy and to stay far away from radical feminism or gender critical theory, what can’t be ignored is how unstable this position is. It is what leads trans men to peaking, what shatters our illusions, what are we supposed to do about the issues with male violence if we are not allowed to name it? Not allowed to see it? Not allowed to find and share support for it? What other choice are trans men left with even? There isn’t any, you have to submit to the ideology completely or you are gone. You would be better dead. You are a TERF. You are killing trans women and girls and you must repent or die.

This is also how the trans community isolates female members. Two things work against us here. Anti feminist indoctrination, where radical feminists are considered a branch of fascism. And also the fact that it is true radical feminism is not particularly for transmascs, TMVP was denied access to a crisis shelter, and most likely blames radfems for this. While radical feminism is not the fascist evil it’s portrayed as, the fact is transmascs are still overlooked, seen as a part of the opposing trans community, rather than fellow female people to be liberated. Tensions between the two groups only deepen as transmascs have and will harass radfems, bi and straight ones appropriating lesbian culture, spitting on and insulting the solidarity radfems sometimes offer.

The constant conflict and general lack of desire to have female solidarity, having been told trans solidarity is of the upmost importance, transmascs remain relegated to the wider trans community. We are told “TERFs” want to genocide us all, or genocide only trans women and we’re privileged men who need to understand that. TMVP is being thoroughly punished, slandered, dragged across all of transfem tumblr by mousidy and his followers, and is given hardly any support from other female trans people.

As female people we are to put the interest of males first and foremost, in this case, that is trans “women”. They might be so merciful to us that we can talk about having been raped once before, even more if they allow someone to admit it was a trans woman who did it. From there you’re expected to clarify that you don’t believe it’s all trans women, and you’re expected to be grateful they listened to you at all. What is not allowed, and will never be allowed, is pointing out the rate of violence, sexual violence, that trans “women” commit against themselves and “TME” people. What’s also not allowed is bringing up how many “TME” victims are silenced.

You can talk about your assault, just don’t say it’s a pattern, or a problem, or any indication of a large scale issue, any indication you’d like to see improvement on the problem, don’t ask for actions to be taken to address this rape culture, and especially do not point to who is doing it. Only ever talk about your assault as it was done by someone who happened to be transfem.

When a female trans person observes another one breaking these rules, they will step in and correct them. “Hey what happened to you was bad but speaking about it like this is very transmisogynistic.” The male’s ideology and peace of mind must be protected, even if it means policing the way someone talks about their sexual assault. Being “transmisogynistic” is a greater sin than committing an act of sexual violence. Deny any of this you face expulsion and hatred from the wider community of which you depend upon.

Female trans people are trapped, cut off from women who would advocate for them, unable to make any progress against their oppression within the community, unable to name and point to the oppressor, keeping themselves and each other in check, taught to care more about TIMs than ourselves and each other.

The end result is what you see above. Isolated, publicly humiliated, and disowned.

I want to reinforce what OP said: Please give this person space. Do not bother her, DO NOT send her hate or criticism. If you give her support, please DO NOT bring radical feminism into it, and use anon. She's being actively harmed and harassed, and she will need time and space to cope and process on her own terms. Radical feminism will only overwhelm and upset this person because of the damage the trans community has done, and it will not help her with any cognitive dissonance she may have. She will come to her own conclusions on her own time, likely slowly and painfully. All we can do is stand by, and be there for her if she ever reaches out to us.

I’m starting to develop a theory that trans women that complain about “trans men going in women’s spaces” (with all the ‘you think you have a SPECIAL UNIQUE relationship to WOMANHOOD due to your MAGICAL PUSSY’ etc rhetoric that follows) aren’t even doing it because they of the reasons they say (for instance, cis people would see a trans man id’ing as lesbian and think that makes a trans woman ‘male’ by default - because obviously a non transphobic cis person wouldn’t jump to that conclusion.) they are doing it because it makes their own inclusion in women’s spaces feel less gender affirming to them. Yes, this lesbian bar lets me in and everyone is chill to me and some of the girls flirt with me, but theres a trans guy right there who is also welcome and not chased out and flirted with, so is this truly a space where only ‘women’ are welcome? And therefore, can i take it as solid unassailable proof that i am 10000% a true wombyn girly girl woman, if someone who has even a tiny bit of masculinity or maleness in their appearance (even if it’s just, having body hair and wearing a binder) also receives the same treatment? Like, when transmascs go to ‘womens’ or lesbian spaces, we do so from a realistic consideration of our circumstances (you could say our material circumstances, lol) that we need to be in that space to find refuge (if its a DV shelter etc) or bc the alternative isn’t safe (if its a bathroom or changing room, or housing shared with cis men) or, if it’s a community space or a bar/club, bc that place is the one where we are most likely to find people who will understand us, resonate with our experiences, be attracted to us, etc.

now all of this i believe applies equally to trans women: they need access to women’s / lesbian spaces because cis male spaces are unsafe for them, and because that’s where the people most likely to feel kinship with and attraction for them will gather.

But if that were the end of it, then you wouldnt see this rise in trans women (especially trans lesbians) complaining about, NOT being barred from womens spaces, but being given access to them ALONGSIDE trans men. And i have seen many trans women complain exactly of this: see the recent p*****s crashout. Or this frankly horrible post: https://www.tumblr.com/mls-classics/820001090501230592?source=share where a transfem says she would put a trans man in potential danger by screaming if she saw him in the women’s bathroom - the implication being that she passes enough as a cis woman whereas obviously he doesn’t, so if she screamed upon seeing him in the women’s toilet he would be identified as a Evil Trans Gender Ideology Male Interloper, and suffer whatever social consequences the nearby cis people would see fit to heap upon him

the only explanation as I’m coming to understand it is that having received access to these spaces is not enough, because at least for the transfems that complain about this, it’s not only about safety or access. It’s also about receiving the pride and affirmation that even a space that would not let in anyone with the slightest hint of gross evil stupid manliness will welcome them in because they are beautiful pristine rosy feminine princesses fromwhom the beautiful essence of womanhood shines through like a pink glittery beacon. (See also: all the transfem influencers on ig, twitter complaining about how gross it is that some women don’t shave, how trans women engaging in every feminine beauty ritual under the sun are still more revolutionary than those gross cis dykes who look like ugly harpies with saggy tits, and so on. See: the comic you rb a while ago about the terf thats ugly and hairy with saggy tits vs the pretty feminine hairless trans girl, or the cdigoddess comic about how terfs look ugly like clocky trans women, or the reddit/twitter post about ‘a trans girl whose body is shaved nose to toes is still more progressive than a cis woman or TME who acts “GNC”’)

"Family abolition means completely removing legal ties for family units and allowing all children the choice of where they live" okay. So if I see a three-year-old throwing a fit because she doesn't want to leave the park, and I go over and tell her if she comes home with me she can stay as long as she likes and then we'll get McDonald's on the way home, that three-year-old should have the ability to make that decision? The parent or guardian has no legal recourse to stop me from taking her? Cause if the answer's no, that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

"I'm done talking about what we'll do with rapists and murderers after we abolish prisons, it's all anybody ever wants to talk about!" Well yeah man! 98% of people just interpreted your words as "we're going to let murderers roam around killing people at will"! You need to explain very clearly what plans you have that will stop them that aren't incarceration or you're not going to make any headway! And if your answer involves any form of "well of course SOME people can't be allowed total freedom" - that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

I'm not even gonna touch the number of people who think we should abolish the police and replace them with what are essentially roaming squads of vigilantes dispensing "community justice", whatever the fuck that means.

the article contains more information on the mother and daughter's confusion of the decision to drop the case against Mark, along with wider discussion of efforts to define behaviour like that in the article ("advocate, counsel or glorify child sexual abuse in text") as a criminal offense, but I wanted highlight these excerpts on the relationships between the parties involved here:

“They told me he had been caught on a chat forum describing how he had been raping and sexually abusing Emily for years. It was written as a confession. He’d even used her name and talked about where we lived.”

...

The police told Fiona they had a photo that Mark had shared in these chats. “I was terrified,” she says. “I thought it might be something explicit. But it was a photo I knew. Emily was young and wearing a new dress, I remembered taking it, her smiling at the camera. That was the absolute worst moment, realising that he had used that photo in these chats.”

...

Emily was certain her dad had not sexually abused her. But from that moment her entire view of him – of her childhood – began to unravel. Like her mum, she was in a space of complete horror and confusion. [...] “They made me doubt everything I knew about my dad and his view of me. I began to think back on every second we had spoken, every outfit I had worn, every hug he had given me.”

...

When she told the police that her dad had never abused her, she was telling the truth. His sex fantasy chats were just that – a fantasy. There is increasing concern about the policing of pornography and online sexual fantasies. A growing body of evidence suggests legal but extreme pornography mimicking illegal acts is a major driver of the online child abuse crisis. Convicted offenders are warning that porn algorithms are sending them down “escalating pathways” to ever more extreme material.

...

While Fiona was preparing to move, Emily was going down a rabbit hole into the darkest recesses of the internet. She began to read all she could about sex chat sites and was horrified to learn how easy it is to step straight into sexual chats about children. “I couldn’t believe people were on there openly talking about child abuse. My dad had a user name that was an obvious reference to child abuse,” she says. “It isn’t hidden.” She wanted the police to know Mark hadn’t touched her, but she wanted him to be prosecuted for sharing his child abuse fantasies online. And she wanted to be recognised as a victim, something the police didn’t seem to understand.

...

Mark walked away with no criminal record or any form of monitoring. He was not placed on the sex offender register and there is nothing he has to disclose to an employer or a partner. Fiona has seen Mark only once since the case was dropped: when she met him to get his signature on divorce papers. She saw then how happy he was to have escaped prosecution. “He made it clear that he considered it a prudish response, the public disapproval of a private fetish. We were prudes, the police were as well. It might have been embarrassing to have the messages revealed, but it wasn’t anything that should involve the law.”

...