The Quirky Novelist

is this a conscious decision these mentor figures make? are they like “nope can’t just shake the protagonist’s hand in a coffee shop, politely give my name, and tell them their quest straight up. I have to accost them at midnight in the eerie light of a nearby streetlamp and chuckle ominously about ‘a hero’s destiny’ and 'the prophecy that was foretold’”

just.

not writing

writing

people reading their stories

they’re dumb kids. there’s plenty of textual evidence they are both sort of selfish in their love (ie Romeo’s on the rebound, Juliet just super doesn’t want to get married to Paris and is desperate for anything-except-that-guy) and a lot of evidence they didn’t truly know each other/see each other for anything but for a romantic ideal (the entire “but soft” monologue intentionally uses grandiose terms and basically translates to “oh fuck she’s pretty”). they literally can’t even communicate essential information correctly. in my opinion they’re not a good match – and shakespeare knows how to write a good match.

but they should have been allowed to be dumb kids. 

the families had gotten to a point that even love - even stupid, selfish, childish love - devolved into violence. while the scenes they share are peaceful until the end, their solo scenes are dominated by violence - romeo with physical violence and juliet suffering the violence of having been essentially sold to an older man. they took the violence that they were surrounded by and turned it onto themselves. they had been raised in it, had been cultivated by it, and when they faced adversity, violence was inevitably the only thing they knew how to control. juliet - soft, innocent, sympathetic juliet - is the final death. and hers is by a wielded blade.

they weren’t trying to be a beacon of kindness or tolerance. but they were just kids. and what had seemed perfectly sensible (after all, the feud had resulted in death in either side, the rage made sense), the suddenness of a truly…. senseless death - who else can the families blame but themselves. no more finger pointing. after trying to hurt each other for so long, they only hurt themselves.

i’m convinced r&j isn’t about a one true love. juliet is the only one who calls it true love, the narrator certainly doesn’t. the first monologue describes it as “piteous“. instead, i think it’s about how it shouldn’t have been their last love. romeo and juliet could have been a romantic comedy about how fast kids fall in love with the stupidest things, how they make declarations of true love by the hour, how they float from one person to another, how they call crushes true love without knowing each other’s middle names.

Overstated warning of very minor threat

Understated warning of incredibly dangerous threat

Comically inadequate safety measures

Safety measures that seem comically inadequate, but actually work

Advisory of oddly specific danger

Advisory that suggests oddly specific precautions, but doesn’t say why

Conspicuous over-preparedness for contextually unlikely threat

Conspicuous under-preparedness for contextually imminent threat

Apparently harmless thing turns out to be dangerous

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

First the cracker batter baker bakes a cracker batter batch then the cracker batter mixer door will open and unlatch so the batter mixer nozzle can descend onto the patch where the cracker batter spreads out for the nozzle to attach.

When the cracker mixer nozzle sprays the cracker batter spray and the cracker batch emulsion lies a-soaking in its haze then the cracker batter mixer starts to stir up all the glaze that the final cracker stacker needs to lubricate the way.

Write 

Straighten their backs 

Celebrate their victories 

Write anything 

Take the empty cups out of their rooms