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@quietphos

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Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.
Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.
Humanizing: Hey, Iām sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didnāt mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.
Because I just saw a post bitching about this one, I want to add: this post is saying that you need to take accountability for the way you hurt other people, even if it happens because of a symptom of your disability/illness. It's also saying that using terms (especially acronyms) that aren't common knowledge isn't a helpful way to explain yourself. It is NOT saying that you need to let people walk all over you because "your disability isn't an excuse."
If you're diabetic, you don't have to eat the honey glazed ham that will send you into a coma (their example). But you also can't yell at the person offering it and accuse them of trying to kill you. You can just say "thanks, but my body can't handle that kind of sugar intake, so I'll pass"
If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise
No, but why is "using terms that aren't common knowledge" something that doesn't humanize you?
I don't disagree that people, in a vacuum, are responsible for their behavior. Although as we all well know, in practice it often isn't your fault you ran over someone's foot with your wheelchair. Wheelchair users are often left no space to just exist, and it translates to other disabilities and disorders too. And one of the reasons why that is, is because the society's default of a human is abled mentally and physically, and most people make no move to model their behavior to accommodate other needs.
I can explain what each symptom is and what it does, if it's unknown. I don't mind. Because I think they have to be known.
They have to be known because they're long term or permanent limitations that need to get worked around by the entire collective. They're not just like situationally feeling bad. And equating them to abstract bad feelings with no name and no clear structural position in your life just places a burden on disordered/disabled people to tolerate being hurt by someone ignorant.
Naming a symptom and explaining what it does is like pointing at a specific painful spot and asking to not be hit there. Meanwhile the social protocol demands that you keep things vague and assign your "overreaction" to just struggling with your temper.
So I am asking again, why is it not sufficiently humanizing to name the disorder you have?
Time and place. When you have hurt someone is not the time to breakdown your symptoms. You have to focus on them, which means meeting them at their level. You can explain your symptoms later in a better emotional setting if it is something that needs to be known.
I have DID and CPTSD, I can be highly sensitive to topics such as CSA and drug use, I get disoriented, I bump into things often and fall, I and I am untrusting of men. I also work with homeless people. This causes me to have to confront and cope with these symptoms regularly. It also taught me to always meet someone at their level. This is the humanization. It's not humanizing for me to explain all my symptoms to someone who doesn't have that at the forefront of their mind especially when they are experiencing distress caused by me. You need to take the time to speak to someone in ways they find relatable, otherwise you will worsen the situation and make them feel like you're centering yourself and maybe even condescending.
If you surround yourself with only people who use medical jargon, then maybe it's fine to use said jargon regardless of context. But most people don't.
What you're saying isn't advice on how to be a good person, it's an advice on how to trick uncooperative people into not retaliating against you.
It's a fair thing to aim for, but it has little to do with ethics.
It's not even remotely about tricking someone into not retaliating. It can be used like that, but typically it'd have to be mixed with other strategies. Independently, It's about empathizing with people on something as fundamental as language. People all speak differently and have different understandings of things and use different jargon depending on what their scope of knowledge is. This also changes depending on someone's mood.
I go back to time and place. when ur in a situation where someone is distressed, using your symptoms to describe why it is you may have caused them distresse is just not a time where they will be receptive. Even in circles with ppl who have the same or similar conditions, in moments of distress is not when you are equipped to ltake in info on someone else's symptoms. It is just self-centered, which everyone is to a degree. Sometimes u have to make the conscious effort to not focus on urself like that depending on again, time and place.
Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.
Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.
Humanizing: Hey, Iām sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didnāt mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.
Because I just saw a post bitching about this one, I want to add: this post is saying that you need to take accountability for the way you hurt other people, even if it happens because of a symptom of your disability/illness. It's also saying that using terms (especially acronyms) that aren't common knowledge isn't a helpful way to explain yourself. It is NOT saying that you need to let people walk all over you because "your disability isn't an excuse."
If you're diabetic, you don't have to eat the honey glazed ham that will send you into a coma (their example). But you also can't yell at the person offering it and accuse them of trying to kill you. You can just say "thanks, but my body can't handle that kind of sugar intake, so I'll pass"
If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise
No, but why is "using terms that aren't common knowledge" something that doesn't humanize you?
I don't disagree that people, in a vacuum, are responsible for their behavior. Although as we all well know, in practice it often isn't your fault you ran over someone's foot with your wheelchair. Wheelchair users are often left no space to just exist, and it translates to other disabilities and disorders too. And one of the reasons why that is, is because the society's default of a human is abled mentally and physically, and most people make no move to model their behavior to accommodate other needs.
I can explain what each symptom is and what it does, if it's unknown. I don't mind. Because I think they have to be known.
They have to be known because they're long term or permanent limitations that need to get worked around by the entire collective. They're not just like situationally feeling bad. And equating them to abstract bad feelings with no name and no clear structural position in your life just places a burden on disordered/disabled people to tolerate being hurt by someone ignorant.
Naming a symptom and explaining what it does is like pointing at a specific painful spot and asking to not be hit there. Meanwhile the social protocol demands that you keep things vague and assign your "overreaction" to just struggling with your temper.
So I am asking again, why is it not sufficiently humanizing to name the disorder you have?
Time and place. When you have hurt someone is not the time to breakdown your symptoms. You have to focus on them, which means meeting them at their level. You can explain your symptoms later in a better emotional setting if it is something that needs to be known.
I have DID and CPTSD, I can be highly sensitive to topics such as CSA and drug use, I get disoriented, I bump into things often and fall, I and I am untrusting of men. I also work with homeless people. This causes me to have to confront and cope with these symptoms regularly. It also taught me to always meet someone at their level. This is the humanization. It's not humanizing for me to explain all my symptoms to someone who doesn't have that at the forefront of their mind especially when they are experiencing distress caused by me. You need to take the time to speak to someone in ways they find relatable, otherwise you will worsen the situation and make them feel like you're centering yourself and maybe even condescending.
If you surround yourself with only people who use medical jargon, then maybe it's fine to use said jargon regardless of context. But most people don't.
Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.
Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.
Humanizing: Hey, Iām sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didnāt mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.
Because I just saw a post bitching about this one, I want to add: this post is saying that you need to take accountability for the way you hurt other people, even if it happens because of a symptom of your disability/illness. It's also saying that using terms (especially acronyms) that aren't common knowledge isn't a helpful way to explain yourself. It is NOT saying that you need to let people walk all over you because "your disability isn't an excuse."
If you're diabetic, you don't have to eat the honey glazed ham that will send you into a coma (their example). But you also can't yell at the person offering it and accuse them of trying to kill you. You can just say "thanks, but my body can't handle that kind of sugar intake, so I'll pass"
If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise

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its a real shame we cant talk about gendered socialization as the violence that it is without some fuckass rocking up like "and thats why trans women arent women!"
like children gendered as girls are fed less and given less opportunities to play and make messes, and children gendered as boys are offered less help and given less emotional support, and this is hurting them! but no actually we need to stop trannies from using the womens washroom
The thing missing from the transphobic analysis is that children gendered as one but perceived to conform more to the other (or to "fail" at their gendered socialization) tend to get a sampler-pack of the worst of both, plus a bunch of outright abuse on top.
Tamsyn Muir Oxford Speaker Event
hello locked tomblr! i was at the tamsyn muir event in oxford - here are my notes i've tried to group them thematically rather than chronologically, and to point out spoilers when i can. there are some parts that i missed/didn't hear correctly - i would appreciate it if others at the event correct me :D
Key takeaways
Alecto is still being written! Muir was reluctant to say a year, so it will probably be more than that
Alecto wonāt be written in a Biblical style, and there will be multiple POVs. It will mostly be told from Harrowās POV (I hope I heard that right)
Muir loves the idea of a TLT videogame
Muirās not yet done with Floralinda
Q&A: Alecto when?
(putting this first because I know you want to know!)
Alecto is not yet finished
Reason why:
Muir was already slated to write another book before Alecto (Floralinda, I think)
Floralinda took longer than expected
Muir also suffered from health issues
Muir was about to say Alecto would come out in a year, but was reluctant. It will be soon. It will be before she dies.
Once Alecto gets to the editor, it will be fast-tracked. There will be few advance reader copies
And Alecto will not be 2 books, do not fret!
Publishing journey for the Locked Tomb Series
TL;DR ā Muir got published because she had good contacts
George R. R. Martin was Tamsyn Muirās mentor at Clarion
Muir took what she described as the ātraditional routeā into publishing
She spent around 3 years publishing short stories
Then she got contacted by an agent for a novel
Muir acknowledges that routes into publishing are not like that now
Sometimes, fanfiction writers are approached ā Muir doesnāt approve as that ruins the hobby, it adds a financial incentive and makes people do it for a career rather than for fun.
Muir wouldnāt do anything differently
We joked a bit about an agent who remarked on the āsisterly relationshipā between characters in Muirās manuscript
Advice for aspiring authors
Send stuff to an agent regardless of where you are
Work in the industry
There was a bit of discussion on self-publishing ā it doesnāt suit Muir personally, but itās a good route for someone with the energy to be their own editor, advertiser, etc.
Q&A: something about being a successful writer (sorry I forgot)
Basically, getting successful requires having good connections
Videogame Influence on Locked Tomb Series
Muir is a big fan of the emergent narrative that videogames afford
Muir worked for Disney and wrote videogame scripts before GtN. Thereās an insane House of Mouse script archived somewhere, which Muir wrote.
Novel writing is very different from videogame writing.
In a videogame, you have to fully flesh out the in-game universe and provide enough choices and points of interest for players
This taught Muir to be in-depth when writing her novel universesā¦
ā¦which particularly influenced her to write tonnes of AUs for the Locked Tomb series
There are two versions of Nona, for example: one which is whatās really happening, and one which is Nonaās POV
Q&A: did the videogame influence help Muir to write so confusingly in the Locked Tomb series?
Muir strongly cites Umineko as a key influence
This is a perfect example of a slow reveal, like in the Locked Tomb books
Muir doesnāt strictly plan her reveals (e.g., on the second reread, the reader finds this out), but she does love a slow reveal and works hard to make close reading rewarding for the reader
Tamsyn Muir would love for the Locked Tomb series to be adapted into a videogame!!
A funny story was told where Muir got approached by a gacha game company⦠which didnāt come to anything
POV voice shifts in the Locked Tomb series
A key reason for the books being so different is that Muir didnāt want to write the same thing again ā she gets āeasily boredā
She focussed on the sentence links of each character ā Gideonās sentence links are very different from Harrowās
Vocabulary also played a key role (again, compare Gideon and Harrow)
The second person narrative in HtN was planned for a while, the tricky thing was convincing publishers to accept it
Muir has an HtN draft somewhere, 50% written, thatās in third person
POV in Alecto the Ninth: It will not be written in a biblical style
There will be different POVs
Q&A: Book inspiration for writing in the second person?
Muir notes that she didnāt write in perfect second person ā it was actually first person
She will always turn to On a Winterās Night a Traveller
And this is another videogame inspiration
She mentioned Homestuck then said donāt mention Homestuck soā¦
The theme of memory in the Locked Tomb series
Memory as a result of love, and memories which are a source of pain
This is a key theme in HtN ā note how memory affected Harrow throughout the book
Itās also going to be a key theme in Alecto
Muir is using memory as horror
The horror of not being able to trust yourself and to know what is real
Sheās drawing on her own experiences of being schizophrenic
Magic systems in the Locked Tomb series
Muir wasnāt actually a big fan of necromancy before writing TLT
She found it too passive in Dungeons & Dragons
She wanted an active magic system, something unintuitive that required hard work and study to learn
She also wanted a magic system to be gross!
TLT magic system was described as ātelekinesis with meatā
Worldbuilding in the Locked Tomb series
Q&A: what was Muirās worldbuilding starting point/seed?
Muir struggled to find this out. Thereās no magic formula
Creative writing canāt be taught, only practiced
For GtN, she wanted a story about duty, and duty vs freedom
She wanted the story to be about two young women
Gideon was originally a cop/fireman
For Muir, worldbuilding is there to serve the plot. She does not worldbuild for worldbuildingās sake
Everything in Muirās books is there to serve the plot
Would the TLT protagonists make a good DnD party?
Absolutely not!
Although Camilla and Palamedes would be fine
There was some joking around about how Muir and her friends tried to play as Gideon and Harrow in DnD and it didnāt work out
Genre merging in the Locked Tomb series
Muir identified her blend of comedy and horror as unique to Kiwi fiction
She used Peter Jacksonās early films before the Lord of the Rings as an example
For Muir, science fiction and fantasy are merged ā it only really feels like science if you do hard sci-fi
Muir grew up with Star Wars, so it felt natural to set her fantasy world in space
The genre merging created publishing problems
Publishers want an easy comparison to other books to make it sell, but there was nothing like Gideon the Ninth
We joked a bit about TLT being compared with Dune
Q&A: now that TLT books are out, has Muir noticed any very similar books that GtN etc. are being compared to?
Not really.
Muir sees the most similarities with people who know her and have had similar influences
An example is A. K. Markwood
Another book that seemed very similar is āDawn Hound by Necksy Strownackā another New Zealand author (I did a quick google and I think this is the Dawnhounds by Sascha Stronach?)
Comedy and Humour in the Locked Tomb series
Muirās advice for aspiring writers is not to write humour to appeal to everyone, as youāll please no one. Stay true to yourself.
Muir writes plenty of humour into her manuscripts, which are often cut away during editing
Q&A: memes that didnāt make it: (note: I struggled to catch what was being said under all the laughter and I am also woefully uncultured ā many of these are me transcribing as best as I can. Do correct me if Iām wrong!)
Mr Bonesā Wild Ride
Emperish meme
Horse Plinko (this got referred to a lot!)
Harrow calling Ianthe the āGod of Thotā in HtN
And many more
Muir mused about whether she will dial back the humour in later work, or whether she will go full throttle as she doesnāt care anymore
Writing process for short stories vs books
Muir sees her short story days as mostly behind her, although she is getting one published soon (as we are aware!)
With short stories, you only have time for one thing, whilst with a novella, you have time for plot and subplot
Short stories are great to practise your technical writing skills
Muir personally would not turn her short stories into novels ā she wants to do something new
Q&A: The planning process for the Locked Tomb series
Muir had already planned the whole story before writing GtN
GtN and HtN are the question arcs
NtN and AtN are the answering arcs
Muir really enjoyed writing a New Zealand story
Lesbians as epic heroes in the Locked Tomb series
Muir doesnāt see this as jarring ā why canāt epics have lesbians in them?
All epics want you do to is die gloriously
You can do anything after that
Q&A: Epic influences on the Locked Tomb series
The Iliad. It all comes back to Homer, and the Iliad.
There was some insightful discussion on how the Locked Tomb world codifies its past. In a sense, itās stuck in time. Thereās no golden period to hark back to.
The discussion then turned to the idea of the hero, and what a hero should be.
This is heavily explored in Gideon the Ninth, which centres around Harrow failing to prevent Gideon from being the hero
Add lesbian to anything
Muir would love to see a lesbian Hunger Games
Floralinda vs Gideon and Harrow
āFloralinda blowsā ā Tamsyn Muir
Floralinda is a supervillain story about a ābad girl who gets worseā
Muir has written/is planning to write more on Floralinda
Q&A: Advice for writing characters who suck?
Just let them be shit, go hard first and donāt hold back
Take a sin, take a virtue
All of Muirās characters, in some way, are a āfuck upā
Catholic imagery in the Locked Tomb series and Catholicism in general
Q&A: was it difficult to link lesbians with Catholicism in the Locked Tomb series?
It felt good for Muir, a lesbian Catholic
And also very fun!
Q&A: whoās the hottest saint?
In the TLT universe: Valancy!
In the real world: Saint Barbara
This sparked some light-hearted banter
Q&A: Meaningful names in the Locked Tomb series
Muir loves writing meaningful names that hide things in plain sight
Muir does not browse āBehind the Nameā lol
She has a ālaundry listā of names she likes which sheās accumulated throughout her life
Homer and ancient Greek influences played a key role
Also Biblical names
Changing names are highly important in the books, e.g., Gideon to Kiriona
Muir doesnāt mind if people sus out a characterās plot after immediately reading their names
Umineko inspiration
Lolita and the Locked Tomb series
Q&A: the audience member read Lolita at the same time as NtN. They were wondering if the similarities between the two were deliberate.
Muir loves Lolita and thinks that Nabokov is an expert in writing misery
Muir was open about being a child sexual abuse survivor. The influence of this is pervasive in her work.
There is a strong focus on relationships with authority people
Particularly in NtN, which contains sexual threats. This was hard for Muir to write.
Another example is the relationship between John and Alecto.
They are not a one on one comparison between Humbert and Lolita, but the theme of a man fashioning a girl into the perfect partner is there
Whether there is a sexual element in this will be answered in Alecto the Ninth
Muir explicitly does not want to include overt sexual violence in her work
Misogyny in the Locked Tomb series
Q&A: In the worldbuilding of the Locked Tomb series, how do you balance the misogyny that still exists (which is particularly obvious when John talks to/about Mercymorn) and the outward appearance/initial impression people get of the houses having gender equality (e.g., Abigail as head of the fifth, Jeannemary as a knight)?
This question had Muir wriggling in delight
The answer to this is addressed in Alecto
Why is John fucking up in the creation of his utopia?
Muir encourages readers to question what you, the reader, perceive as misogyny, versus what the characters perceive as misogyny.
Q&A: Cannibalism in the Locked Tomb series
Cannibalism is a metaphor for toxic love
Cannibalism of the soul is much more severe than cannibalism of the flesh
Link to Lolita
Itās eating someoneās life and personhood. A central theme in TLT is exploring love as something taken violently
Can you love someone without taking something from them? This is one of Muirās favourite ideas
And, itās not necessarily negative
Example of Camilla and Palamedes (spoiler for NtN!!)
They had to eat each other
Grappling with the question: Is love weightless?
Q&A: How much of their old selves are preserved in the Lyctors?
HtN spoilers!!
John didnāt simply wipe and rewrite them ā if not, why are they trying to kill him?
John wanted his friends, so he tried to bring his friends back
Interesting implications for the two people he didnāt know well and only saw as cowrokers
BUT then the Lyctors are changed by their immortality and John
Q&A: What was it like to write immortality?
Muir acknowledges that she doesnāt do a perfect job, and that itās actually impossible to actually write immortality ā it will be too alien for the reader
But this links back to the theme of memory ā how much can the Lyctors retain?
The Lyctors are heavily weighed down by time, Mercymorn in particular
Q&A: How long would Muir last in the TLT universe?
0.5 seconds
Muir doesnāt see herself as a necromancer or cavalier
Nor is she particularly aligned with any House
Q&A: Books that Muir is reading right now that she would recommend
(again, my poor listening skills and lack of culture limit me here!)
Spoiled Milk by Avery Curran
āPayback for Malory Towersā
A.K. Markwoodās new book, the Seventh Banisher
Muir has advance access. AK is her friend.
Q&A: Books and media that influenced Muir as a child
She was a highly prolific reader as a child!
Obviously Animorphs
Weird Kiwi fantasy stories
Margaret Margey
She read a lot of David Eddings as a teenager and got annoyed at the role of women in the books
Gormandust was a key inspiration for TLT (I googled this and āGormandustā doesnāt exist, hopefully someone more in the know can help to translate my poor transcription!)
Grimmbolts was another influence (again, I probably didnāt hear this correctly)
Q&A: Warhammer inspiration
Muir didnāt get into Warhammer until after HtN. She loves it.
She has been approached to write for the Black Library but she had to decline as she had too much work
Q&A: Whatās Muir going to do next?
Muir does not want to keep going back to TLT, she is happy to release it to the fanfiction writers once itās done!
There are a couple more things in the TLT universe she may add
For example, thereās a big Harrow AUā¦
Muir wants to go back to videogames
But in her history, the projects she works on tend to fold
Muir is trying to write her own videogames and is slowly learning Python
A very good question about deconstruction was asked, but I missed it because I was too excited
Everyone was really lovely at the event! Cambridge folk, you have a lot to look forward to :))
I wentānot overseas, but by public transportāto Corpus to hear Tamsyn Muir speak.
The bad news: Alecto is not finished. It will hopefully come out "soon" and will likely be fast tracked with few ARCs when it's finished.
The news you may take differently depending on your preferences: It is not being split.
The good news: It is not all written in Ye Olde Alecto speak (it sounds like Harrow's POV will be fairly major, but there will apparently be several narrators).
A slightly random selection of things I frantically scribbled down:
The protagonists of TLT would make an "absolutely shit" D&D party ("Palamedes and Camilla would be fine")
We could have had horse plinko and begone thot, but for the anti-meme ministrations of her editor. She would love an edition that puts all of the memes back in.
On Catholic imagery and lesbianism: "you ain't seen nothing yet"
"Harrow is now a believer without a church"
She said that while John and Alecto's relationship is not meant to be a 1:1 analogue to Humbert Humbert and Lolita, there is the idea of a man fashioning (something he thinks is) a girl into a perfect partner (the question of whether that is a sexual partner apparently may be relevant to ATN)
She does not have a favourite House and would just be a regular person in the world of TLT (though she would last about 0.5 seconds)
The tension between the Houses' ostensible gender equality and the misogyny that still persists is apparently also relevant to ATN. "John has set out to make a society on values he holds dear and cherishes and in some ways he has done really well... And in some way he has fucked it up beyond comprehension" (Maybe not an exact quote. My auditory processing is questionable.)
The backstory in NTN was planned right from the beginning
Lyctors "are not truly human any more. They've crystallised themselves" and "They have lost themselves and the only thing they've been able to hold on to is what other people make of them". She said she would have liked to make the Lyctors more alien but had to balance that with them being relatable narratively.
She is dying to read TLT fanfiction once she finishes the series.
guy who only experienced torture: this reminds me of the torture i went through
guy who only experienced torture: i don't like this because it's too unlike the torture
guy who only experienced torture: i'm afraid of not being tortured
passing in public makes me feel like white shrek
literally how it feels

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āI would die for my kidsā your children want an apology
your made up scenario isnāt real (shocker) and makes no difference when your kids are starving for your acknowledgment of the pain you caused them. youāre only performing the role of a good parent, without having to actually do any heavy lifting
[photo id: a screenshot of tags
#you'll die for me. awesome. will you break a habit for me? will you learn something new for me? will you fix your mistakes for me? #dying for me is surprisingly easy - it's often passive and instantaneous and you only need to do it once #will you do the hard thing of constantly and consistently putting in the work again and again and again?
/ end id]
I've kept this blog mostly as a faceless drawing account, but I feel like at this point I should talk more about art related things I believe in. right now, I've been more and more annoyed by the way artists approach merch and their reactions to criticism
First of all, and I'll be blunt: the entitlement towards cheap global south labor from indie artists is insane. You can place whatever marginalized identity in your shop, it does not give you the free pass to hire manufacturers that refuse to inform you about the wages and labor protections of their workers. If the only way that you can do x product is like that, then you don't deserve to have x product as a merch option.
Enamel pins, makeshift plushies, acrylic stands, shitty tshirts and apparel... why is our community filled with dropshipping slop whos production involves labor abuses and environmental damage? why are we constantly playing dumb to these manufacturers being shady and then getting surprised they get in labor scandals? why are we coddling artists that its ok to exploit others for profit because a smol bean who just has no choice or responsibility ever?
If you aren't making your merch by hand or making sure the people making it for you are being paid properly, then you should get another job.
Misogyny.
Literally a comic describing how vulnerable women are coerced into "becoming men" to escape misogyny. This just supported every radfem point. LOL
You are a uniquely misogynistic person if you think trans men are that fucking stupid and that they transition only for the sake of escaping misogyny. Your rhetoric is an exact parroting of anti butch anti lesbian anti GNC ideas. It stems from the idea that anyone born female who deviates from our expectations needs to be groomed back into being submissive to fit societal standards. Op posted a comic which simplifies a very complex existence that you have watered down to nothing. You are a Meaningless person without critical thought if you cannot realize this.
Anti trans radfems are misogynistic condescending freaks who seek to control the bodies of queer ppl. Very twisted. We will never be safe.
pet peeve is when you look up fashion references from a specific era and you keep getting modern day '[era]-inspired' fashion like NO i want authenticity damn it. i can see your 2020 photo quality and your 2020 hair and your 2020 makeup. youre not fooling me.
hello i'm a historical fashion researcher and i have a lot of experience looking up things! this is a very widely experienced irritation and you're definitely not alone in this, but i am here to share everything i know!
so, ways to get around this:
turn off AI results. they're literally nonsense to us
don't use pinterest because the sources/provenance is often hard to trace
a standard internet search can be okay, but museum collections are the top tier (list of collections below this list)
instead of broad terms like victorian, regency, tudor, renaissance etc. try using the decade you're looking for. if you're not sure of what decade it is but have a vague image in your head, look on the fashion history timeline and just jump around until you find it. but even changing to e.g. 19th century will give better results than victorian
including terms like womenswear/menswear, daywear, formal wear, evening wear, court dress should increase the value of your search too
including "fashion plates" in your search can give you a nice impression of the intended silhouettes of the era. some of these might be a little stylised but will show you what was considered in vogue
for pre-fashion plate eras or things like makeup and styling, you'll have to look at portraiture or manuscripts. these are harder to actually find what you're looking for, but searching museum collections and limiting results to specific date ranges will be your friend
when looking at art, do bear in mind sometimes artists would paint fabric extra flow-y to show off their skills. it might not have been exactly like that in terms of fabric weight or drape. so, a pinch of salt required!
if you find something on image search where the provenance is dubious, reverse image search and you might find a source! i've been able to trace random pinterest images to real sources, but this does take a lot of time and effort and is often not worth the headache
some online resources and museum collections:
fashion history timeline is an invaluable resource if you're trying to get a feel for everything and should be your first port of call. it'll also link to good examples
the met has a vast number of extant examples of clothing, as well as fashion plates
costume institute fashion plates is a subcollection of the met for fashion plates (1800s-1922)
v&a also has many extant garments, fashion plates, and incredible articles on clothing and aesthetics. read the details of the objects because they'll often reveal a lot about the piece
lacma is good for C19th-20th pieces
nypl digital collection for photographs
national portrait gallery or similar for portraiture, or literally any museum in your country that has historical art
national museums scotland can be useful situationally but might be oddly specific
stout style history is a great collection for finding image references for fat people wearing historical clothes. survival bias of a lot of museum pieces tends towards smaller clothing that couldn't be repurposed, but this aims to counter that. it's not sortable, but is still a really nice resource
wikimedia commons is surprisingly handy! and the images, if you should need to link/repost them, are public domain
auction websites sound like a funny one to recommend. some won't have mannequins and some will. just look up historical garment auctions and you'll find some!
anyway, i hope this has been a good place to start for anyone interested! there are probably some i've missed because there are so many museums across the world and i don't know about all of them or can't remember them. but these are the ones i've used the most! (my specialisation/jobs i've had to research for have only really been in western fashion, so my resources reflect that)
Wikipedia has a list of fashion museums. Unfortunately, the page itself is only available in German, but the introductory paragraph is very short and after that, it's organised by country, and then it's a simple list. If you click on a museum's article, the website is usually linked in the overview table.
when i think of the concept of "OC merch" when i close my eyes i imagine it in a landfill. this also applies to plushes and shit of random youtubers and animated shorts etc
too many 100% plastic plushes of random online shit that will be forgotten about in 3 seconds, Wakeship, Youtooz, and Ownaj you will pay for your crimes on our planet

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This is the best description Iāve heard for this method, I always thought it was bullshit because I never heard a description that actually explained how to do this other than ātap your head 20 timesā.
I have anxiety-induced hissing, which sounds/feels different from sound-induced tinnitus (which I have also experience). Sound-based tinnitus actually sounds like youāre āhearingā something in your ears, whilst the hissing I have feels like itās āinside my headā, if that makes sense. But this technique still helps!!
Hereās a visual I found because I couldnāt understand the instructions well
My ringing just went away for the first time in years. What is this blissful quiet.
wait wait i gotta try this, i donāt think iāve had Actual Silence since i was like 5
HOW THE FUCK
Reblogging to save a life, and also because, even if you donāt have tinnitus, this is totally worth trying if you like new sensory experiences.Ā Ā
you ever have situations that make you want to take people by the shoulders and go "you are not 15 any longer. this behavior is no longer quirky and cute. it is exhausting for you and everyone else to act like a teenager you haven't been in a decade or longer. knock it the fuck off"
lots of ppl making this about adults who have interests they find cringe but let me be clear this is about emotional immaturity. idgaf if you're 35 and like goku okay but can you have an adult conversation without making yourself the victim is the matter at hand here
The worst part is that this type of person will try to shame you for being too old to like goku but not even know how to apologize properly. Really this is only embarrassing for one of us, and I think we both know it's not me.