Being hairy is so awesome #mammal

Poseidon help

it's not "codependency" god stop pathologising. i'm just making sure you'd be a good fit for being buried in my tomb with me when i die.

Where did you get this piece of an ex's diary

you will be so shocked at how fucking minuscule flies can get. there are more flies than you can possibly imagine and equally impossible to comprehend how tiny they are. and the smaller they get the more comical and ridiculous they appear.

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

the thing about growing up with siblings in an abusive household is that ultimately you're each other's jail wardens and whipping boys and that does things to you no matter how much you sincerely love each other and understand why it happened the way it did and wish you could have been big and strong enough to save both of you

it's just inevitably going to be difficult to reconcile the love you feel for the other half of a bear trap clamped around both your legs. is the thing.

if you're an adult behaving immaturely i'm not going to "treat you like a child" about it because i have a lot of respect for children as an oppressed and vulnerable class of people. i will however treat you like an embarrassment. which you are being.

Also babieing adults and lowering your expectations just further enables them

The witch cursed you to become a monster so that your outsides would reflect your character. Your home town took this news better than you would've thought. A lot better. You're more popular than ever and got immediately swamped by marriage proposals from just about everyone available in town.

My first thought was tall sexy dragonborn

ask game: you stalk my blog and then tell me what you think is wrong with me

Please I yearn to be seen

We need to start sexualizing the janitor's jumpsuit as the butch equivalent of the maid's uniform

Omg wait-