take your time

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

REGULAR MUSIC TO BE NORMAL TO

clownfish be like "i know a spot" and take you to a fucking deadly sea organism

This post would’ve been a lot better if you didn’t say the f word. Grow up.

it’s honestly crazy how many ppl u meet in your early twenties who have never been in love or been in a relationship or had sex and then you’re like oh it’s actually normal and social milestones actually mean nothing bc everyone is different and has different experiences. cool!

Whys a dead wife so common as a backstory for male heroes when divorce exists and its 10000% funnier

AHEM speaking as a grad student from the University of Wisconsin, NONE OF THE PEOPLE THERE BELIEVE IT EITHER, PLEASE DO NOT BLAME BARRY FUCKING POWELL ON US.

also he isn’t even at the uw anymore, he retired early to write really bad poetry and live in a yurt, and I swear to god I wish I were making this up

I love discovering very specific drama

does an evil little "hee hee hee!" at the grocery store that makes you want to leave the cheese aisle

Thank you for choosing bad mcdonalds how can we hurt you