★

A Scots poem titled “Batman's Aff His Nut” that reads:

Batman's aff his nut Have you seen the way he cuts about Dressed up as a mad fucking bat Batterin guys I was lit at: “Mate I'm worried about ye I know your ma and da died But everybody's ma and da dies And we're no aw running about Hookin muggers and Kickin psychopaths in the baws.” And that was when Batman went “Aye, but do ye ever (word in italics) feel like it? Do you ever look at the world and (word in italics) feel like it? Like having a big mad base under your hoose? Do you ever feel like drivin a big mad motor that turns intae a tank? And leatherin fuck oot of guys aw night? Scarin the fuckin (word in italics) shite oot of them?” And that was when I was lit at: “Aye. Fuck it. Ae dae.” And that's the Secret Origin of Robin and everybody else.

my brother and his friends in this field trip group were truly great kids. but they were not above run of the mill teenage boy shenanigans. it’s the end of senior year, you and all your buddies are at the amusement park, you’re naturally going to want to act like a complete moron

there was one kid in the group who was especially prone to goofing around. committed to the bit, some may say. my mom knew that if nonsense was going to break out, he’d likely be at the center of it

so she goes up to this kid at the very start of the trip and says “hey, i’m kinda worried about this chaperoning thing. this might be a lot to ask, but can you help me keep an eye on everyone? you wouldn’t have to do anything big, just be an extra set of eyes for me.”

friends, this kid proceeded to run their field trip group like the fucking us marines. everyone is at the meet up spots at the designated time. everyone waits in line for the rides like a bunch of boy scouts. the second the horseplay gets too out of hand, this kid is getting it back under control

it’s incredible how differently people act based on the expectations you set. instead of going to this kid and saying “hey, i know you’re trouble, so i’ve got my eye on you,” my mom went “hey, i know you have influence in your peer group, so i think you can help me.”

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

whether that's taking them, refilling them, or whatever you need!

So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:

I will also say that I think the problems with the movie's casting, costuming, and color grading are all related. Like, Nolan went with the Hollywood Viking aesthetic because he thought Odysseus would look silly in a slutty little bedsheet. And it's like, no, you don't understand: Matt Damon would look silly in a slutty little bedsheet. 40ish Jason Mantzoukas in a thigh-length, rust-colored chiton, olive limbs shining in the Mediterranean sun, would send male-attracted folks everywhere into the stratosphere.