in service to living

had a dream i found a tape labelled “sex tape” and when i played it in a vcr it was just two fully clothed guys beating the shit out of each other with metal bats

kamen rider

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

it's just that like. if I were writing a story, and somebody said, "I think that character in your story is a trans woman," and I didn't want them to think that. I would probably avoid a scene where I have someone hand that character a trans flag and call them princess. And I wouldn't change what pronouns I use for them, or have them tumble out of a closet at their introduction. Oh and I wouldn't have a scene where they get really excited about the idea of being a princess instead of a prince

make the transfem that's bigger and taller than you feel cute and safe or I'll fucking kill you btw

girlrotting is only one letter away from girlfrotting which needless to say is very good great improvement but consider it's also only one letter away from girlrotating which could give her swirly eyes and make her go awawwa from the dizzyness. who's to say which is better ?

If I'm elected as your president in 2028 I promise to bring back the Western Interior Seaway.

Pretty babies come swim in w ater with big fish water is fine with big fish in come taste interior seaway with big fish

I’m at my friend’s apartment in dublin. she’s been trapped in her bathroom for like an hour and maintenance just showed up with KITCHEN UTENSILS??? 😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀

he’s giving me attitude for asking for a locksmith. i was going to be polite for as long as we needed him as an ally but he’s run his use.

just realized he’s wearing a single latex glove. for why

like i know sometimes the most unassuming tools do the job but i cannot stress enough that he simply tried to pry open a metal fire door with it. he didn’t try to employ it on the lock in any way. the slotted spoon told me immediately this was not our man. pack it up chef boyardee

Paraguay implies the existence of Orthoguay

Ok, but what about Metaguay?

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

the most beloved holiday of the Pre-collapse Americans (also known was known as the "Yankees") was the Julian Fourth, or "Independence Day". to celebrate the holiday, the Yankees would perform a decorative, ritualistic bombardment of the sky. this is believed to be a sort of Babelic ritual, declaring war against the American god, George Washing-Town. as an unintended side-effect, the loud blasts of the ritual acted as a form of psychological torture to wildlife, domestic pets, and their own traumatized warrior caste.

I Would Like To Stop Being A Pre-collapse American Please For The Love Of Fucking God

many of the horny posts on here are written as if the author knows of sex more as a theoretical framework than an act one can actually perform

what's not theoretical is how I made your mum's bed frame work last night

thank you for fixing her bed frame up. i was worried she wouldn't have a place to sleep since it stopped working. load off my mind. now i can finally spare the time to have sex with your mother

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme