Those words strike a chord deep inside me. Because I don’t always feel safe on this earth, in this world. Sometimes I feel like the Universe is just a personified concept I made up to make me feel better about the complete lack of control I have over life. I have found myself swept up in the random chaos of existence and so must find a way to cope…
How could I feel safe when I am tumbling through the unknown?
However, I’ve come to realize that the safety I provide myself is not in any guarantee that nothing had will ever happen. Bad things happen, and if I spend my life running away from that fact I will never get to live it. I give myself safety in my ability to feel into the present moment and react in accordance with my intuition. This gives me safety in knowing I will always be moving in the direction of what feels good and adjusting accordingly as I go.
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I was just flipping through this old journal and came across an entry titled "From Nothing To Everything." When I wrote that I was in a turbulent place.
I had let go of a long term relationship a year before and found myself in a similar situation with someone new. It was like we skipped over all the good parts of a new relationship and landed directly in the shit storm that comes just before a breakup.
I had been here before, I told myself. I recognized the same patterns in this new person as I did in my old relationship: lack of self awareness, codependency, control issues, and insecurity. But I was no longer drawn to those patterns like a moth to a flame. I recognized his behaviors for what they were and felt nothing but the strong desire to get the fuck out.
But I was on the verge of being trapped financially - again. He had all the resources and I had nothing, nothing but my car and my kitchen job. And so again, I felt the pull of safety and comfort. Maybe I could sacrifice myself again, life would be a whole lot easier if I did.
But then I remembered the scream.
It started as a soft nagging deep in my solar plexus when I was in my old relationship. The more I let his needs and sense of reality dictate my own, the more I did what I thought I should do instead of what I actually wanted to do, the louder that nagging feeling got until it became a scream that I had to fight down with every ounce of my being.
Every time it started to surface I wanted to throw the nice porcelain dishes across the living room and watch them shatter into pieces on the new hardwood floors. I remembered that scream and I couldn't go back, so this time I left.
It felt like a very profound moment for me, it was a big step because I hadn't been able to make that decision in my old relationship, before I let the scream grow inside me. This time I was choosing not to give it a place to grow.
So in the middle of January in Colorado, I left. I got in my car which was also my home and I worked my kitchen job and I put one foot in front of the other to rebuild my life. But this time it was fully mine, no one else's to dictate.
Into The Void Empty Handed
When I left I heard this phrase, into the void empty handed. It felt scary to be in the unknown, but also exciting and empowering to willingly step into the void.
Shortly after this, my two good friends and I got impromptu hand tattoos of an arrow to represent our warrior woman energy. As we put our hands together to take a picture of our fresh ink, I realized I had stepped into the void, not quite empty handed. I had good friends and a new found ability to assess relationships and walk away when they dont feel supportive. In that moment I was so grateful for those two things.
Fast forward to now
It's now April and I wouldn't say I've come to everything from nothing, I'm still a lot closer to nothing than everything. However, this magical thing happened when I said no to a relationship that didn't feel good, a new, better one came along. I found someone who has done the same work as me, who is on my same level of self awareness, who feels good, really good. It feels different than any relationship I've been in before, but that's also because now I am different too.
I'm working towards finding work that feels sustainable, working towards growing my business, and taking baby steps towards abundance. I am working towards a life that is truly my own.
Sometimes we have to just let go of everything and step into the void.
I want to be a blank page you can write all your hopes and fears on. I won’t judge you, or give you the answers, but I’ll be there, just listening to the soft scroll of pen against paper. ~how to be there for someone . . . . . #asana #yogilife #hathayoga #hatha #namaste #yogis #yogateacher #yogalove #yogini #yogalife #coloradoyoga #coloradoyogagirl #boulderco #bouldercolorado #coloradostyle #travelgram #bouldercoloradophotographer #yogalifestyle #yogaeverywhere #picoftheday #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetryisnotdead #instapoetry #poetryofinstagram #poetryporn #poetrylovers #bymepoetry #poetrygram #igpoetry via @preview.app (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/CrCtcj2MHr_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
I’m the type of person that thinks, Life’s messy. I just want to clean it up and put it in a bento box ~Brene Brown . . . . . #travelgram #travel #travelphotography #instatravel #travelblogger #wanderlust #photography #nature #photooftheday #instagood #traveltheworld #travelling #traveling #picoftheday #vacation #explore #adventure #coloradoyoga #coloradoyogagirl #boulderco #bouldercolorado #influencers #influencer #instagram #blogger #fashion #influencerstyle #instagood #yogaphotography #mountaingirl via @preview.app (at Valley View Hot Springs) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cqa882jLbaN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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I want to watch the world go by Through mud stained car windows As the sunset comes through the pine trees Somewhere in New Mexico. . . . . . #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetryisnotdead #instapoetry #poetryofinstagram #poetryporn #poetrylovers #bymepoetry #poetrygram #igpoetry #poetryislife #poetrysociety #poetryofig #2linespoetry #micropoetry #lovepoetry #poetryslam #poetryinmotion #urdusadpoetry #herheartpoetry #colorado #mountains #nature #photography #travel #adventure #denver #hiking #naturephotography #ipreview via @preview.app (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqjyTPfsmrO/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
How did we get here? Somewhere between lost and content, a fine line I want to tight rope walk forever. It’s the only place I want to exist. ✨ . . . . . #coloradoyoga #coloradoyogagirl #boulderco #bouldercolorado #yoga #fitness #meditation #yogapractice #yogainspiration #love #yogalife #yogaeverydamnday #yogi #mindfulness #yogateacher #yogalove #workout #gym #yogaeveryday #motivation #pilates #namaste #health #wellness #yogagirl #yogaeverywhere #nature #yogachallenge #healthylifestyle #fitnessmotivation via @preview.app (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqoV7s8vNIr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
Advice given to me today: gather as many flowers as you can, spread them around your home and enjoy their beauty 🌻🌷🌺 . . . . . #divinefeminine #divinemasculine #love #selflove #spirituality #goddess #spiritualawakening #healing #lightworker #meditation #twinflames #awakening #ascension #divinefeminineenergy #energy #sacredfeminine #spiritualjourney #feminineenergy #divineguidance #goddessenergy #asana #yogilife #hathayoga #hatha #namaste #yogis #yogateacher #yogalove #yogini #yogalife via @preview.app (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqssFn1rQDW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
What you long for most, you already contain. ~ Reveal: A Sacred Manual For Getting Spiritually Naked By @megganwatterson What do you long for the most? For me, it’s success doing what I love, being creative. I want my life to be full of beauty and inspiration, to not have to do unfulfilling, uninspiring work for other people. I want to help others do what they love. I want us to all succeed. I don’t want to be held back by limiting beliefs about what is and isn’t possible. I don’t want a scarcity mindset to keep me disconnected from other beautiful human beings doing what they love. I want abundance, creativity and beauty. It all starts from inside 🌺 . Thank you @janellewolanyk for the great recommendation ❤️🔥 . . . . (at Denver Botanic Gardens) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqvuqxDv5e2/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
Inspiration from a crappy day They found your bones at the bottom of a cliff inside a cave. You were 15 years old 11,000 years ago. Your bones told a story of a life riddled with pain, healed spiral fractures on your wrist show the abuse you endured and chronic malnourishment kept you small and weak. I wonder what sparks of joy you had in your life. Was your soul able to find happiness in between the wrenching hunger and fractured lines in your bones? I wonder who did this to you. Thousands of miles away, and thousands of years later, I hear the cries of a woman like you. She is not from this time, but her deep sorrow haunts me the same as yours. I hear her deep weeping, coming up through the hills. I can see her pain light up the houses around me. I wonder if anyone else can feel her too. Her energy sweeps through this house like a tsunami filling every corner with an anger all too familiar to me. Her deep sobs rumble through the park and come up through the grass like thunder. I have learned the hard way in this lifetime that I must protect my energy at all costs. I cannot heal for you or her. But I can hold space. I can hold space while she beats her fists upon the Earth and rolls her thunderous anger through this house. I am not scared. Not anymore. Somewhere deep inside the matrices of time and space, I know you can hear me. You can hear her too. Let’s hold space for each other sisters as we cry and scream. We are healing. We are healing. . . . . . #intuitivehealing #spiritually #chakras #spiritualwellness #spiritualawakening #holistichealth #selfhealing #energyhealing #healingenergy #heal #coloradoyoga #coloradoyogagirl #boulderco #bouldercolorado #influencers #influencer #instagram #blogger #fashion #influencerstyle #poetryislife #poetrysociety #poetryofig #2linespoetry #micropoetry #lovepoetry #poetryslam #poetryinmotion #urdusadpoetry #herheartpoetry (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqzATSNrt3W/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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“My body is not a battle ground. My body is my home” Embrace the power of the divine feminine and awaken the goddess within 🌟✨ #divinefeminine #goddessvibes #artprintlove #artprint #art #illustration #artwork #artist #print #wallart #digitalart #design #homedecor #painting #drawing #graphicdesign #artoftheday #fineart #prints #artistsoninstagram #poster #abstractart #walldecor #artforsale #etsy #artgallery #decor #modernart #instaart (at Boulder, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cq3_8uSL8u_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
Life is significant, but there is no purpose in it. It is a purposeless significance, like a song, or a dance, like a flower. It is flowering for no purpose at all, it is flowering for nobody special. Even if nobody passes by the road the flower will flower, the fragrance will be spread in the winds. ~Osho . . . . . #asana #yogilife #ashtangayoga #rocketyoga #namaste #yogis #outdooryoga #yogachllenge #yogalove #yogini #yogalife #yoga #igyoga #yogafam #yogaeverywhere #yogisofinstagram #yogafit #yogacommunity #yogadaily #yogaphoto #flexibility #yogaforlife #vinyasa #yogaeverydamnday #yogapractice #yogalove #yogalover #yogajourney #yogaeveryday #aloyogachallenge (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgfg0LjLubj/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
It was never a magical fix. A sudden cure. It took lifetimes of work to find that quiet whisper. The one that knows before the mind. She is still finding it. But the intensity of coming close to that quiet whisper that flows like a river through her soul and wells into her heart was like nothing she could ever fathom. There are some things that must be felt and any words, no matter how masterfully crafted, can only form a hollow outline of. . Photo by @erd_iii 💕✨ . . . . #outdooryoga #yoga #yogapractice #yogainspiration #yogateacher #yogaeverydamnday #yogaeverywhere #yogalove #yogalife #yogi #yogachallenge #namaste #yogaeveryday #yogajourney #meditation #yogaoutside #yogisofinstagram #yogapose #yogacommunity #yogagirl #yogafun #yogini #igyoga #yogadaily #asana #yogaflow #instayoga #yogaposes #yogaoutdoors #yogafit (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/CncfEhCJw3v/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Experience the power of branding and marketing through art at The Queen Jess. We specialize in creating custom branding and marketing strate
I created an Etsy Shop, Dharma By Jess, when I lived full time in a van in Southern California. I thought making crystal jewelry would be a fun and easy way to make a little money.
But then I realized having an Etsy shop required more than just making the products...
I realized I needed a logo, a social media platform, and good quality product photos. I had no background in branding, marketing, or product photography, but I was passionate about my new business and decided to teach myself these skills.
The first time I opened photoshop, I cried.
Learning all of these skills was not impossible, with the vast array of YouTube videos at my disposal, I could teach myself anything, but it was hard. It took a lot of time and dedication to become familiar with Adobe, with search engine optimization SEO, and how to use a DSLR camera... but I did it, and I realized I LOVED these new skills I had acquired.
Burn out is a real problem for creative entrepreneurs.
My business was growing and I was getting more orders than I could fulfill on my own. I was a little over my head and was scared to delegate. What if someone else didn't do the work the way I wanted? How would I even going about finding an assistant for my shop? I was overwhelmed and instead of reaching out for help, I shut down my shop.
Other Hats I Wore
Since then I have created numerous other businesses from dog walking to graphic design, I have always loved the act of building new businesses. However, none of these other business ventures ever felt like the right fit for me. I wanted to work for myself I just didn't know what I was passionate about.
(Hint: I was passionate about building businesses! I just didn't realize it yet).
Letting go of control and letting my business flow. At the beginning of 2021 I started what I thought would be the business for me: Jasmine Shay Designs. I was in art school and wanted a platform to sell my art prints online. I already had all the know-how from my other business adventures and was able to grow this new business quickly using instagram as my main marketing platform. But something still wasn't right... Getting out of the "branding box" I nailed the brand aesthetic for Jasmine Shay Designs I was happy with my brand's image and voice, but it didn't feel likefelt like I had to sensor myself and my content in order to fit into this neat little box I had branded for myself. I wanted to share myself fully with my audience, not just this little part of me.
Moving towards what feels exciting.
I was feeling more and more like posting on my business instagram page was a chore. I was posting much more regularly and with excitement on my personal instagram page. So, instead of trying to force myself to promote a business that wasn't feeling exciting, I moved towards what lit me up: my personal page @QueenJess_Official.
The more I let myself flow, to create what felt exciting and authentic, the more I realized I was already a brand.
I think that bares repeating: I was already a brand.
I began to combine all aspects of myself: my yoga practice, my art, my writing, my passion for creating and growing businesses. And voilà The Queen Jess was born.
Through this experience of finding what felt right, being authentic to myself, and following what excited me, I found my passion: helping creative entrepreneurs do the exact same thing:
Find the brand that already lives inside them.
If you're feeling overwhelmed with your business or don't know where to begin, reach out and let's chat.
