Passionate Intensity

post tlg some random asshole defenseman makes a shitty comment about shane taking it up the ass and shane looks at him, then at the scoreboard that shows the centaurs winning 6-1, then back down at him like "i dunno man i think one of us is getting fucked in the ass right now and it isn't me." and then that guy tries to fight him

I am a big defender of Shane not wanting to come out and one of the biggest reasons that I haven’t seen discussed much is how much worse it is to come out as a Gay Asian Bottom compared to coming out as a bisexual (white) man who is already regarded as a sex machine. Like Asian men are already overly feminized in the west. Shane’s general demeanor is subdued, he doesn’t drink or party often, and he abides by strict rules and a diet that already makes him an outsider. He doesn’t sleep around and has only has one public relationship with a woman under his belt, which ended very quickly. He’s the exact opposite of Ilya in all these ways and it puts him at a disadvantage. He has a “soft” image he spends his whole life actively opposing. His image is working against him; him being gay contributes to it and worsens it. Ilya’s image is working in his favor; being with a man is an anomaly OR further proof of his sexual prowess. And bc of Ilya’s well known history of sleeping around and generally aggressive attitude, it will be assumed he would be the top. Through a heteronormative lens, which is obviously the norm in hockey, that makes him the “man” in the relationship. If anything, his ability to “dominate” another man may bolster his image, make him even more of an “alpha male”. But being a bottom is seen as inherently demeaning and effeminate, thanks to misogyny, homophobia, and rape culture. The less bulky, quiet, shy man with a shocking lack of experience with woman is obviously the bottom (and this is even worse if they have the height and body differences canon to the books). Shane will be seen as weaker (and what could be worse than that in a contact sport like hockey). He’ll be viewed as the “woman” in the relationship, which is to say he will be viewed as inherently inferior. And draws further attention to the parts of him he’s tried to hide (aka autism symptoms) which will now be treated as further evidence of his sensitivity and otherness. Everything he does now is gay. But being with Shane is the only gay thing Ilya does. Without the threat of Russia, Shane has more to lose from coming out imo. And his team’s reaction proves that. He deserves some grace.

imagine spending your entire life doing exactly what your parents asked. taking every pointless brand deal wearing the clothes they tell you to wear. keeping quiet. playing the version of a son that you think they want. being exactly who they seem to want you to be. and then you get a partner and they immediately start calling him their favourite son and giving him a level of warmth and love that they never gave you. Oh and the whole time you were hiding who you actually are from them so you could be perfect? they kind of already knew you were gay and just chose to ignore it and keeping pushing you into more spaces full of homophobic (and racist) people. but you’re not their favourite. they like your boyfriend more because he’s actually sad and he’s actually suffered. not like you who has gone through Nothing. People have gone on killing sprees for less.

so fascinating how even the people who insist they like shane and understand where he was coming from in tlg keep bringing up the couple of shitty things he said (the mom comment and the weed comment). like if you haven't read tlg you wouldn't even know what shitty things ilya says to shane because they never get talked about

this is also why the "they were both bad at communicating and didn't treat each other well" point doesn't sit well with me. because sure, yeah, that may be true, but the narrative is very clear in punishing shane for his behavior while letting ilya entirely off the hook. it isn't a bad thing to point that out

so fascinating how even the people who insist they like shane and understand where he was coming from in tlg keep bringing up the couple of shitty things he said (the mom comment and the weed comment). like if you haven't read tlg you wouldn't even know what shitty things ilya says to shane because they never get talked about

my biggest wish for season 2 thats not gonna happen is that i want shane to read ilyas plane crash instagram goodbye messages and not have a chance to find out ilyas alright until he has had the biggest meltdown of his entireeee life like i want him to read the messages and scream like hes been shot and collapse to the ground i want him to freak the fuck out i want him doing the classic autisim meltdown behavior of using your fists to pound your head and pull your hair i want hayden to have to call yuna like 'i cant get him to calm down and he is definitely gonna pass out if he keeps scream crying like this' and he puts her on speaker so she can try to talk to him and she tries what she knows but shes literally never heard him sound like this. i want her to try to talk reason about how they dont know anything yet nothing is concrete and hes just crying that he cant do it without ilya hes not gonna do it without ilya ilya his baby his love his ilya. i want him convinced ilya died badly until he hears ilyas voice again im like so serious

the heated rivalry fandom would be so much more bearable if people could admit that the long game is just one extended, slightly polished whump fic where the main character blames his partner for the life that he chose (insert the iconic sandra hüller anatomy of a fall monologue). and there are racist implications to this due to the throughline of racial fetishization in these books and the overarching pattern of rachel's sad white boys (ilya, ryan, troy) having partners/exes of color (shane, fabian, adrian) from whom empathy is extracted but not returned to. because rachel is only interested in the interiority (and humanity) of the white halves of these relationships and in providing excuses upon excuses for them, while any semblance of struggle, individuality, and need for grace in the racialized halves is characterized as an audacious act of selfishness standing in the way of their white partner's happiness which must be overcome one way or another. basically what im getting at is the unending discourse about how so-and-so white boy deserves better is mind-numbingly stupid and i do think lesser of you as readers for not interrogating the racist writing