#rozander

Shane is the #1 person Ilya gossips with. Since Shane isn’t the best on picking up subtext, all of the drama Ilya has to share is a complete surprise to him. Which makes him both the most entertained by the gossip and the most entertaining gossip partner.

Shane has an extremely dry sense of humor, and in public he’ll whisper deadpan commentary into Ilya’s ear while Ilya tries not to cry laughing.

Ilya has a very dark sense of humor that makes most people who hear it uncomfortable, but not Shane. Shane thinks it’s absolutely hilarious every time.

Ilya and Shane love to sit in the same room, do separate activities, and barely speak to each other. Shane will read a book while Ilya plays a video game, and one of them will have their feet in the other’s lap.

While everyone in the league thinks Ilya is a huge asshole, Shane thinks he’s hilarious. In fact, Shane usually agrees with Ilya’s chirps and will not defend anyone against them.

“shane hollander? sorry, i don’t know the names of all assistant coaches.”

“shane hollander? the zamboni driver for montreal? does good job, sure, but i have seen smoother ice.”

“shane hollander? who is that? does he sell popcorn during the games so that he can at least watch from afar?”

“shane hollander? you mean the guy who has coffee cart outside the arena because selling iced drinks is the closest he will get to hockey?”

“shane hollander? of course i remember him. he is park guide now, did you know? yes that is the closest he will get to sticks.”

(to the journalist) “shane hollander? is that the name of your son? does he want my autograph?”

Heated Rivalry social media au 8/?

Part 7

LORD I JUST FUCKING FAINTED. OMGGGG!!!!!!

𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗑 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝖾𝖽, 𝖠𝗇𝗒𝖺 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗆𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝖨𝗅𝗒𝖺’𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖽𝗋𝗈𝗈𝗆 𝖽𝗈𝗈𝗋. 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾 𝗉𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝖽𝖽𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗅 𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗎𝗉 𝖨𝗅𝗒𝖺’𝗌 𝗂𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁. “𝖦𝗈 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗁𝖾𝗋,” 𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝖽, 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾. 𝖨𝗅𝗒𝖺 𝖻𝗈𝗅𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝖻𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝗈𝗋. “𝖠𝗇𝗒𝖺, 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅. 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗀? 𝖠𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗅𝗒?” 𝖧𝖾 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖽. 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝖾𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝖨𝗅𝗒𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗅𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖠𝗇𝗒𝖺’𝗌 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝗂𝖼𝖾𝗉 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗋𝗎𝗅𝖾𝗌. 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲, 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗜𝗹𝘆𝗮, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗜𝗹𝘆𝗮’𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗰𝗵. 𝗛𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝗹𝘆𝗮 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗻𝘆𝗮, 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗳𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗺 𝗱𝗼𝗴 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀. 𝗛𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗱. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲’𝗱 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝘁 𝗮 𝗱𝗼𝗴 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝘅 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱, 𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀. “𝖨 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗌𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝖺𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉,” 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗇𝗌𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝖨𝗅𝗒𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺 𝗌𝗇𝗈𝗋𝖾. 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾 𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗍 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽, 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗂𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗍 𝗉𝖾𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁𝗌.