It was important, his mom had told him. Kids would be looking up to him. He didn’t know who all he was reaching, but he did know that he’d be one of the only people that looked like him they would see. There still aren’t that many Asian players in the league. Whatever he’s done, his whole career has been about setting an example. About making sure he’s someone people can point to fifteen, twenty years from now and herald as an example of a successful Japanese-Canadian hockey player. A story to tell little Japanese-Canadian kids and something concrete for the naysayers. Proof that people who look like him have talent, have the ability to succeed. Proof that they’re worthy of being in the rooms.
It’s a lot. Some days, Shane wishes he didn’t have to be bigger than himself.
But events like this still mean something, even if they stopped meaning much to him years ago. It’s a good thing for him to show up. If the photos reach even one kid, that’s one kid who maybe feels less alone, less hopeless about their future.
or, shane attends an event for asian professional athletes
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
god i think what we really forget is that yuna hollander really is The Tiger Mom. think about it. tiger moms, stereotypically, push their kids relentlessly towards excellence. often, it's academic - see: every stereotype about asian kids ever - but that also does tend to include sports.
and i think what we tend to miss about the core of the tiger mom stereotype - what gets washed away by the racism of it all - is that tiger moms push their kids to these ends because they're scared. a lot of tiger moms (as traditionally depicted in media and as i've personally known them!) are women who are freshly immigrated to the states. they're women who are so aware of the precarious status of their "americanness," and so aware of the privileges being american is supposed to afford them, but most importantly their children. i think with tiger moms, there's this need to see that the sacrifices are all worth it, yes - and that means having a child more successful than yourself, but also a need to prove that you AND your family deserve to be here, in this country that thinks of you as an invader, but is also so happy to use you as a token. i can't quite speak for the asian-canadian experience (i am an american), but the asian-american minority status is so constantly being mediated through our proximity to whiteness, which is itself only afforded to us as a means of weaponization against other, "less desirable" minorities.
and i think a lot about how yuna tells the montreal gm that hockey was her way of "really feeling canadian" as a kid. i think about how the gm tells her that they're so happy to be breaking barriers (as they've done historically!) by drafting the first-ever asian-canadian player to the metros/voyageurs. i think a lot about how shane admits to rose that having a western last name shielded him from the worst of the bullying the only other asian kid in his mites league experienced - but also how that made the other asian kid fucking hate him as a result.
yuna wants shane to stand as someone other little asian-canadians can look to and think, oh, if shane hollander, Canadian Golden Boy, looks just like me, then maybe i'm also canadian. maybe i don't have to question my place in this country, in my classroom, on the ice. and she pushes him to do it, to have all these sponsorships, to be a representative, to be a Role Model, because it's what she needed when she was younger. she needed a Shane Hollander, Captain Canada. she wants shane to be protected by that fame, and she wants him to have it because he deserves it, and i think she knows that if she were not pushing for it, he wouldn't have half the attention he rightfully deserves (i mean look at jason robertson). but it's also something i think yuna needed as well.
but then it breaks my heart because all of this is just so much pressure on shane. and shane loves his mom. and he understands where she's coming from - he wants to live up to all these expectations and desires heaped on his shoulders, because it's the good thing to do, and it's the right thing to do, and he wants his mom and canada and all those little asian-canadian kids to be proud of him, and to be proud to be like him. and he spends SO MUCH TIME trying to force himself into these palatable, easily-adoptable, tokenized shapes. shane hollander can't be gay, because that's too much on the asian thing (as is quite literally stated in TLG). shane hollander can't turn the media persona off, because it won't read as charming in the way it would if it was a white guy doing it. shane hollander has to perform and perform and perform, because if he has a slump, if he can't put up goals, and do these insane, incredible, record-breaking things, then maybe his place in the league isn't justifiable anymore, and maybe all these people were WRONG to pin their hopes on him.
is it any wonder that shane spends so much time denying himself the things he wants? he has to, because otherwise he starts denying people what they want of him. shane has to diet, because dieting means his body will run optimally just a little bit longer and he can keep being Good Representation for just a bit longer. shane can't have ilya, because ilya is a subversion of everything shane is supposed to be - a straight, redblooded, heterosexual man. shane can't be too effeminate, because that's playing into what every racist in the league and outside of the league is already saying about him (and do NOT worry i haven't fucking forgotten that weird bit about shane being hairless and small that popped up in HR. what was that about). he can't cry. he can't show any kind of weakness, can't be bothered by being compared to tiger woods and serena williams, can't be mad about every little thing that's expected of him, regardless of his feelings. shane can't give up control, because if he does, and he finds himself in the shape that's most comfortable for him, he's not Shane Hollander, Captain Canada anymore. he's just shane. and the people don't seem to really want just shane.
i don't think that's really yuna's fault. i also don't think yuna is a bad person, nor that she's a bad mom. i think she loves hockey, and she loves her son, but that she's also just a fucking person. and being an immigrant in a predominantly white country, no matter how progressive it might claim to be, is scary. it's often a little traumatizing (for however dramatic that might sound). you realize how it feels to be unwanted, and for a parent, that means you want your kids to never, ever feel that way. and i think for yuna, that manifests in pushing shane to be public, pushing for him to be the face of the NHL/MLH, and pushing for him to represent for asian-canadians. i don't think she does it for malicious reasons. i think she realizes the position shane is in, and the way the league is often actively hostile to minorities it can't use. i think she's also made a decision to use that in a way she knows will keep shane as safe as she can make him. the NHL/MLH has to appear progressive, and shane hollander is a generational talent. if her son is a figurehead, maybe he'll be safe.
but that always comes at a cost. shane's a token, whether rachel reid chooses to explicitly address it or not. and that real tokenization he experiences is part of what keeps him scared and closeted, i think. it's that fear that drives him to stay in there, to only plan to come out when he's done playing. it is so fucking awful to be propped up and trotted around as the Token Asian. it's hard, and people are always so racist without even knowing they are or meaning to be - and that's saying nothing about the ones who are deliberately racist. and shane deals with that as best he can, with the limited tools he has (please go to fucking therapy, shane hollander), and i think being the Gay Token Asian on top of that is an insane thing to ask of anyone. especially in a sport as traditionally homophobic as hockey. shane deprives himself of things that he wants - things he really wants and maybe can't even live without - until that deprivation breaks him, in a way. he denies his sexuality until he can't anymore. he's planning to stay closeted with ilya until his career is over, because he's so scared of the consequences of coming out. he bites his tongue and lets the commissioner threaten him over his sexuality. shane tells the voyageurs about his sexuality - not even his relationship! - and is abandoned.
and in the end its all about fear. yuna is scared for her son in a country that might not love them, and a sport that will not love him for who he is. shane is scared of letting everyone down. and they spiral, on and on and on, until they talk.
i think that's why the scene in 1.06 means so much to me. shane tries to apologize. "i tried really hard" i tried not to be gay. i tried to be what you wanted me to be. i tried to be what everyone else needed me to be. and yuna just...apologizes to him. "i'm so sorry" she's sorry she put him in this situation. she's sorry she made him feel as though he couldn't tell her. she's sorry she made him alone, even if she didn't mean to.
to me, this is what really cements the whole "yuna is scared" thing. of course she would be: she loves him enough to apologize.
You should loudly boo every Democrat who attacks Trump’s deal with Iran for being too Iran-friendly. Any deal to end this war is a good deal. I do not care that we are returning the assets we stole from them. Cry about it. If you don’t want to make concessions to a country you consider an adversary, don’t start pointless wars with them and kill schools full of their children
ppl complain abt everyone being so boring/inauthentic/detached these days but the second u have interests they deem unusual theyll be like "waitttt thats giving neurodivergent..." like damn its so awesome that were pathologising giving a fuck about anything they dont sell at a tj maxx
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
there's something so uniquely infuriating about how all these executives have to conduct multi-month "reviews" that waste our time only to come to the conclusion that we've been screaming about for years
i think this captures the defining pathology of the collective social media psyche right now. we are in the thrall of people who are wantonly cruel but who also demand to be coddled at all times in every way
"I like yaoi because it's free of heterosexual dating mechanics" ppl when the larger more masculine boy takes care of and protects the smaller feminine one.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
so sorry but no, fanfics don't count (even if they're novel length). you can define "read" however you'd like -- physcial book, ebook, audiobook, etc. and it's up to you whether you count dnfs!
ILYA ROZANOV WEEK: DAY THREE
FAVORITE QUOTE(S)
↪ “Uh, no. Never in life have I blushed. Russians do not do this.”
— honestly, almost all of his quotes bc ilya is a comedian (and a menace) 😂🥰🤞
myilya is self destructive af but not in a "poor ilya he can do no wrong" way, in a "let him be wrong and messy sometimes whilst also acknowledging that his actions can in fact have a negative impact on the people he loves and he can sometimes be a massively unreliable narrator" way.
similarly myshane can be wrong and self destructive sometimes but he is not the only one and this does not make him inherently selfish or a bad person. and he in fact does notice when his partner is sad, he is canonically kind and caring.
idk I dont have to like or agree with everyone's interpretations of the characters I just prefer it so much when they're allowed to both be whole people with depth and struggles of their own without being either babied or demonised.
yes exactly this! i really wouldn't want a sanitized depiction of ilya dealing with depression because it is messy and difficult and it does significantly impact peoples' lives. i think showing that is important. but it's also important to highlight that it can't be used as an excuse the way that the narrative seems to want it to be. i would have no problem with ilya's actions in tlg remaining as they are, if the narrative were to frame him as in the wrong and having made mistakes.
i love shane being wrong and complicated and messy too, when he's allowed to be those things because he's valued as a character in his own right and not just a vehicle to make ilya's life harder so the audience feels more for ilya. your last sentence is spot on. i hate the trend of demonizing / infantilizing couples in media so much. it always feels like a binary, one of them is infantilized and one of them is demonized. people are rarely nuanced and normal lol
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
imo in tlg Ilya comes out looking wayyyy worse than Shane. he's self destructive, he doesn't communicate, he pushes Shane around, he makes fun of his eating habits, he pulls the ultimatum card ('would you choose me over hockey'), the list goes on. but somehow everyone believes that Shane is the unempathetic and oblivious one.
tlg is kind of a masterclass in what perspective can do to perception, because yeah, exactly. ilya has a lot of not great moments in tlg that the reader is more sympathetic toward because we're in his head, we see how much he's struggling, how depressed he is, etc.
but the way people talk about it is really really telling because like....
(this is chapter 12, not even 100 pages in) shane notices. he brings it up and he tries to get ilya to talk, brings up even seeing a therapist, and he gets shut down and insulted. personally, if my partner reacted like this when i brought up mental health and potentially seeking help, i'd be hesitant to approach the topic again. and i'm not trying to minimize the effects of depression, i'm not saying this would have been easy and uncomplicated for ilya to talk about, but rather that i just find the fandom perception of shane in tlg to be so informative about the double standard.
because these moments aren't talked about. the snarky, mean comments ilya makes aren't discussed. the way he shuts shane down when he tries to help isn't discussed. tlg is framed as a book where ilya suffers in ottawa and shane has no idea and is too wrapped up in himself to care. a lot of that is rachel reid's doing, because this narrative is extremely unbalanced and frames ilya as right and correct no matter what he says to shane, but i also think some of the fandom does shane such a disservice by uncritically accepting her framing. people frequently talk about defending shane in tlg, finding explanations for his wrongs, but there's never a need to explain ilya's wrongs. the narrative never frames him as wrong for any of it, and a lot of people just go along with that.
there's just this weird fixation on shane having made mistakes that he learns from and people can explain for whatever reason or another, but the things ilya's said not even registering as mistakes. not even registering as things he's done wrong that he may need to apologize for. if people don't even know what he's said, i question why. why don't people bring it up? shane's missteps are constantly brought up, even by people who are defending him, but ilya's just kind of fade into the background and don't get talked about.
the book isn't great and the author's clear bias is evident. but like. don't people frame fandoms as better and more willing to accept nuance and all of that. where'd all that go
