Listen, have you considered? cats?

First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.

And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.

Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD

First two have good trigger discipline. Not Notsomuch number three in line.

Number Three is ready to kill

incredible sounds happening here

This is what we call An Argument

An Argument/Game

this is beautiful

that second one has really stuck with me.

sorry im not done gatsbyposting. the nyc celebrations for its 100th anniversary are so uniquely deranged. like here you have a book that absolutely scathes new york parties & dress-up & entertainment & alcohol & careless wealthy east coast elites. and the way the city is celebrating the 100th anniversary of one of the most beautifully written & personally devastating literary tragedies this country has ever produced is by. offering 10% off gatsby-themed cocktails at luxury bars. hosting pay-to-attend 1920s themed costume balls in the wealthiest areas of midtown. setting up penthouse hotel suites to ostensibly resemble locations from the book. a few hours ago at an exclusive private event they had the cast of the glamorous broadway musical, all in designer clothes, light up the empire state building green to advertise their show where tickets cost up to $670. one of them said the green light ‘represents the beauty of the american dream.’ i think you could power all manhattan with energy generated from the rotational torque of f scott fitzgerald spinning wildly in his grave

anyhow i celebrated this international holiday by leaving work early & dressing up & driving north five and a half miserable hours to see the empire state lit up green because this was a true once in a lifetime event & this book changed my life & i wanted to celebrate a character i loved and mourned & see a glittering green light shining on the water & reach for it like dreamers do. but even though all the websites and blogs i could find told me it would be green on the 11th—that it would blaze green all night on the 11th, and i triple checked each one—by the time i got there at 8:15 pm they’d turned it off. and the parties had happened thursday night, not friday. so i ended up alone & exhausted & rain-drenched & freezing & quite frankly absolutely crying my eyes out on the shore across from the city, just fucking stupidly sobbing above the water, wishing i could go back just a little way into the past. and THATS how you do gatsby. ill kill you all

if you don’t reblog this post im gonna explode