(๑´ڡ`๑)

just the other day I was like I want some dick from a fat man

and then what happened?

I suffered in silence

They used idiot ore to forge u bro

Vodka & benadryl got me feeling like a oyster

I'm so horny I could fuck a person I was attracted to #TRUE

Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"

crack the egg of sympathy and make the omelette of compassion

*trying to act natural and befriend you* have mercy on my damned soul???

We used to make posts about loki on here