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mortallycrispygardener

shiftingbonesofapoltergeist-dea

I'm sorry WHAT

smallerontheoutside

'lazy people don't feel guilty about not doing anything' is insane to me and I have been trying to make my brain believe it for a long time, it shocked me to my core when I first heard it

astropithecus

An important corollary to "if you were faking your mental illness, you could stop whenever you wanted."

puralis

Ok but what if i am having fun and i just don't know it bc lack of contrast

#ok but seriously though

everyday-cutephoto

dajo42

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

computationalcalculator

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

idontgettechnology

I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.

libraryogre

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

sensiblereblogifposts

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

mothnem

Well what ELSE were we supposed to do at the devil's sacrament????

drowningbydegrees

I used to be president of a company and made a devil's sacrament joke in a company-wide meeting without really thinking about it. On the one hand, the number of people who got it made me feel less like I'd stuck my foot in my mouth. On the other hand, I was the boss of everyone in that meeting and that... sure was a thing we all had to know about each other for the rest of eternity.

At the bottom of an emptied bag of candy

My final Riesen.

#stupid puns #true story

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Dude with recently diagnosed aspd told me i was anxious last week, and apparently that's what it takes for me to realize I'm anxious and chill the eff out

Might be annoyed by this, might be amused. Investigation is ongoing, until I forget.

#mental health #this feels backwards

deadpowol

tahthetrickster

#I know this ridiculousness fits someone's author style #but whose?#Terry Pratchett?

Watched "The Drama" the other day, and I think I might be too autistic to care about the drama.

#the whole thing #complete nothing burger #good cast tho #you'd think the focus would be more on the need for gun control #but nooooo #male mc was exhausting #She could do better

jumpdriveproject

Visit Original Link

#this is accurate #yakuza

chadgamer

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

lesbianredpanda

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

martian-martian-martian

Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s

hzs-modblog

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

lawbreaker13

Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air

dreamsanddabs

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

lawbreaker13

The soles of your feet can never grow hair

ineedtostopchangingmyusername

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

lawbreaker13

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

theswedishelf

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

lawbreaker13

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

theswedishelf

SPONGEBOB…

lawbreaker13

SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS

theswedishelf

*~deedlee-doot-dee-doot doo-oot~*

spongebobheritageposts

date of origin: August 9th, 2018

ghost-postables

The unbridled joy of seeing this pass by again, spotting the little red heart like “ah… my old friend. Spongebob Human Anatomy Squarepants.

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I miss tumblr blue. This place looks too much like threads now

#tumblr #nostalgia #seriously though

I can't believe I've reached the point I'm abandoning fics for being 50k words of pure fluff and smut o__o who am i

#heated rivalry #what have you done to me #these aren't even bad fics #could it be....#i actually need plot?#me?#i want to spend eternity in episode six me?#my lobster is too buttery

Anyone else wonder if the reason Ilya chirps Scott so much about his age is because he sees him kind of like an Alexei stand-in? The older brother he *wishes* he had?

#heated rivalry #idk the thought struck me #when i was watching a picture of connor sneaking up on arnaud #but still

Watching newcomers on fb try to put together fandom glossaries is like watching someone come into your house trying to figure out where to put the furniture they're already staring straight at

#it's weird #fandom

jabberding0

Art by Luo Li Rong

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Idk why people are so tickled by having peoples kids named after them; my sister's stepdaughter has my name AND SHE KEEPS CALLING ME BY MISTAKE

#it's awkward

It's funny how i know the very *me* of it all is always going to blow up in my face, and yet somehow i still end up being *me* anyway. And then it blows up.

#Why #Clearly i have the communication skills of Troy Barret

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