Pug on the Rug

Still spending? Books make perfect gifts! Not sure what genres your friends and family like? Not a problem! Books by sports stars are excellent choices; you know the wording won't stump even the most reluctant of readers. Wrap these up and stick them under your tree.

Tired of aliens bursting forth from your best friend on shopping trips? Me, too! Pack this pulse rifle on your next retail rendezvous.

Almost out of get-up-and-go? No problem! Remember: the holidays are supposed to be exhausting.

The 21st century cult of productivity is paralyzing us. 

Busy eating your way to obesity-induced diabetes? Great! That's what the holidays are all about. Enjoy those excessive dinner parties and snack tables; the new year is when you vow to lose all that extra weight anyway. Here's a little something extra to help keep you nice and toasty alongside those extra holiday pounds.

I've been watching you long enough to know today is special for two reasons: It's Jason Day and Gingerbread Day. This afternoon, you'll go out and spend money on decorative candies that taste like crap and confectioner's sugar just to use as glue. Good job. 'Tis the season for excess. Here's a little extra something something for your house of sweets. Enjoy!

Oh, snap! Rudolph Pug and I have been hibernating in the house, drinking mulled wine, too afraid to leave and get on those dangerous roads. Have you seen seen the news lately? I know you were good and went shopping this weekend, but all I've got are these leftover wine corks. Here, go make a Pinterest Project out of them.

I heard the predicted freezing rain has caused you to cancel your holiday shopping trips this weekend. For shame! Where's your spirit? Plenty people will be quite safe on the icy roads in their oversized SUVs. Because I am disappointed, you get nothing special today. You can do better.

Few things are more American than celebrating celebrities' birthdays, and I see you've done it in style with the more expensive, special edition of this DVD. To show how proud I am of you, please kick your feet up and enjoy this White Russian before venturing out to the mall to search for that perfect rug.

Taking a break from the rug and doing a little reclining between shifts. 

Yeeeeeeee-Hawwwww!!! Cowboy Pug and I know the best way to stay warm during this approaching cold front is to hit up a liquor store. We've been up all night hitting the sauce to ensure all our favorite people have something to keep them warm by the end of the week. Keep at it!!

You've obviously been busy being a good citizen, yelling at the television over a sporting event. That must be why you look so tired this morning. Here, try these games tonight instead.

Oh no! While Mrs. Sock Monkey was trying to show her family how much she really loves them by ditching them at the table on Thanksgiving to try and save 70% on a TV, she lost her noggin in a Pre-Black Friday sale stampede! Here's a new head for being such an aggressive shopper.

Our favorite season is finally here! I see you've been a busy little spender, scouring the mailers and sales papers. Good Consumer! Today, you get some Holiday M&Ms to fuel that shopping spirit.