uniprocrastination

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

Anhedonia is good at being a persistent undercurrent to your life. My aunt, who has major depressive disorder, related to me that she figured out that something was wrong when she looked at the daffodils she had planted blooming, and couldn't recognize the emotion that she felt when she looked at them. It had been long enough since she had felt happy that she lost the ability to recognize the emotion.

It's a particularly dangerous depressive symptom, because it robs you of the ability to feel those little spots of joy that keep a lot of people going, while not doing anything to impair your ability to function. If you don't know that this is a treatable symptom of depression, it's easy to assume that your ability to feel good is permanently broken, and decide to commit suicide because you don't want to live like that. It's not an irrational conclusion, but it is an uninformed one, and everyone deserves to have all the information when making a major decision.

This is what a lot of questionnaires are trying to look for when they ask about "loss of enjoyment". If you can't remember a loss of enjoyment because you can't remember enjoyment, then you probably have anhedonia. If you struggle to define how it is to feel "happy", "content", or "good", or how it feels when you feel those emotions, you probably have anhedonia. If you can't remember feeling any of those emotions for a week or more, you probably have anhedonia.

Symptoms commonly co-occurring with anhedonia are fatigue (often the cause), clear and thoughtful consideration of suicide, loss of desire to socialize or do activities that used to make you happy, and weight loss (due to lack of enjoyment of food).

From what I could understand they would remind the individual of a specific traumatic memory and then have them play Tetris for an hour. The authors ultimately found a potential reduction on PTSD symptoms after their six month testing period. I couldn't find any follow up research to see if the results were lasting, but this is awesome regardless.

His answer was: “When I asked you to talk to me about memories from your childhood, you often started the sentence with ‘I’ve never thought about it before/ I’ve never tried to articulate that before/ I don’t know how to put what I felt into words/ This is the first time I’ve ever tried to say this out loud’.”

Me: “Yes?”

Therapist: “You couldn’t talk about your parents without crying, but you didn’t know why/what you cried for-”

What he’s doing, every week, is sitting with me as a trusted adult I needed when I didn’t have anyone. It’s like a second chance, a do-over, a time travel experience maybe - instead of jamming everything haphazardly into a drawer and move on from it like nothing had happened, the trusted adult stops the time and asks “Why did this upset you?” and helps me to put everything back to where they belong. Organized and neat. Connecting dots.

I am able to look at the younger self with a little compassion - instead of berating the younger self for (re)acting badly/cowardly - I am able to tell the younger self that I did what I could with the resources I was given and had knowledge of when things happened, my worthiness isn’t defined by my mistakes.

It’s self help in the most literal way because I now possess the knowledge to do “better”, the metaphorical Key I needed to get myself out of the self imposed jail in my mind. Self…. To the rescue….!!!! And feed the hungry wolf (who gnawed its leg off in an attempt to free itself because it was caught in a trap it didn’t see). Sick and hungry and starved of love.

Feed the wolf and pet the wolf. The wolf can’t necessarily get its leg back, it is what it is, you can’t change the past; but the wolf can learn to not cower when humans are near by.

Well, I guess this is how you get a domesticated dog.

“Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. This is the sense that helps you understand balance, and it connects with all the other senses.

When the vestibular system does not develop properly all other senses will struggle to function properly. Without a strong vestibular sense, kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, experience more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking, and struggle with focusing and listening. Because they literally cannot help it.”

“Here are a few ways to support your child’s vestibular sense:

Spinning in circles.

Using a Merry-Go-Round.

Rolling down a hill.

Spinning on a swing.

Going upside down.

Climbing trees.

Rocking.

Jumping rope.

Summersaults or cartwheels.

Using monkey bars.

Skating.

Going backwards.

Swimming.

Dancing.

Wheel-barrel walks.”

Yeeting kids, spinning them, flipping them upside down, tossing them in the air, and otherwise disrupting their balance temporarily, is Important For Their Development, specifically for their vestibular sense.

We all seek proprioceptive input, leaning against walls, pushing against the steering wheel when driving, giving your body a squeeze to wake yourself up, the list goes on! When we ‘crash’ kids into soft things like pillows or beds, we’re waking their bodies up AND calming their bodies down! In other words, getting them into this super nice zone of “just right” regulation. 

When I see a child who is bouncing off the walls and can’t seem to stand still for more than a few seconds? I start wrestling with them, crashing them into pillows, giving their body the right amount of input they need to feel good and organised. And suddenly, this kid is able to sit and play attentively or do their handwriting practice. It’s amazing! If you want to know more about why the vestibular and proprioceptive systems are awesome at making your body feel good, google those two words (and sensory processing) and read through some occupational therapy websites! 

Side note: As adults, does your body ever feel jittering/jiggly/wiggly/like it needs to move or calm down but you just can’t figure out why? That’s your sensory system saying Hey! I need to feel differently in order to function better! Here’s what you can do:

Jump up and down (vestibular and proprioception)

Give yourself big squeezes (proprioception)

Place your hands on a wall and do push ups (proprioception)

Do cartwheels (vestibular and proprioception)

Get someone to give you the biggest bear hug for at least 10 seconds (proprioception and social connection, also proven to help regulate your sensory system into just right zone!)

Get a drink of water and drink it through a straw OR blow bubbles into the water (way more fun!) (oral motor input and respiration)

Have a shower or a bath (tactile)

Stretch and do exercise (vestibular and proprioception)

Eat something crunchy or chewy (like chips or gum) (oral motor input)

Listen to some music that suits your mood (auditory)

etc etc etc! I’m sure you already have a strategy that your body has figured out works for you. I personally like to chew gum when I feel like i need to eat something but I’m not actually hungry and just need that chewing sensation in my jaw. 

“Neck lengths of birds + aggression: a study.”