corbin

I am autistic. And I am a stereotype.

I am a stereotype…because I actually often don’t understand sarcasm. I often don’t understand what the fuck is going on. I can be naïve. I am innocent of some things. I do have a very black and white way of thinking, and I do sometimes express “childlike” levels of joy when interacting with the things that I love.

When I was younger, I used to try to hide it. I was a teenager, I wanted to be cool. I wanted to seem grown up. Educated. Street smart. Thick skinned. I thought I could fake it till I made it.

But the only thing I made was myself exhausted beyond description.

I am autistic.

I am sweet and soft and occasionally clueless.

I ask questions everyone else knows the answer to when I don’t understand now and sometimes people laugh.

I am autistic, and people call me sunshine because that is the part of me that I show to the world now and it is not an act. It is real.

And that’s okay. It does not make me less of an adult. It does not make me less of a person. It does not make me less deserving of respect.

You should not have to shut away your softness and feign comprehension in order to be perceived as an intelligent, capable individual.

You can be autistic and a stereotype. Just as you can be queer and a stereotype. People say that it’s bad representation, that it will make other people cease to take us seriously.

But it is not representation. It is you. It is your life. Stereotypes exist for a reason. Falling into them is nothing to be condemned.

Lasers have a lot of uses! Measuring things, heating things, cutting things, entertaining cats, particle physics. Lasers are pretty cool. Very versatile, very useful, potential to be very powerful.

Someone shows up one day and says "I have developed a never before seen technology! I call it a Death Star."

And it's a 3.4mW laser. Well no, we haven't seen this exact size of laser much since that's not really standard, but that's a bit of a misnomer, and I wouldn't call it new -

"HOLY SHIT GUYS! This Death Star is so entertaining! My cat loves it and it has such a nice color!" The Death Star becomes a viral novelty, and is mildly entertaining, as laser pointers often are.

Somehow, seemingly overnight, this leads to mania. "Lets stick lasers in EVERYTHING! The public loves them!"

More companies make 3.4mW lasers to jump on the bandwagon. Everyone that makes anything vaguely mechanical starts sticking lasers into their designs.

Everyone is calling them Death Stars. Any time there is a "Death Star innovation", it is just that they made a bigger laser.

Ford's next truck comes out and it has "Death Star integrated headlights", where they have just stuck giant lasers in place of their previously functional headlights.

An electric toothbrush is now "Powered by Death Stars" and shoots a laser at the tooth its cleaning. You think that maybe this could have actual applications as a sanitizing device if you're being generous, but when you actually look at the product, its laser has no purpose but to point at the tooth and drain the battery.

Mechanical products across the board get noticeably worse as everyone starts stuffing lasers in places where lasers have no right to be.

The lamp business gets in on it. "Here's a Death Star powered lamp!" These guys haven't even tried to stick a laser in their damn lamps. They've just started calling their light bulbs Death Stars and hoped you bought it before you could tell the difference. You at least appreciate that they haven't ruined their lamp about it.

Death Stars are lauded as the solution to all the world's problems. If it's not working, you should stick a laser in it! That'll fix it, everyone says. Once in a blue moon, it's even true! Weather prediction is really good now. But most things are garbage. Like "Death Star powered washing machines". What the fuck does that even mean?

Meanwhile, since all functioning mechanisms are being replaced with lasers, problems start showing up. All mirrors now cost $1000+ dollars, because the whole supply is being used up to make more lasers. The earth heats up, because everyone's blasting lasers at everything. People keep going blind, on account of all the lasers.

You, in fact, study optical mechanics. You know what a laser is, and how it works, and that it was invented many years before any of this nonsense actually started. People keep asking you about Death Stars, since surely you must know so much about them.

You explain that this is not really what lasers are for, except you have to call them Death Stars now, and that they're causing a lot of harm, so you don't like them much.

"Oh, but they're still such new tech!" they reply. "They'll figure out how to make Death Stars that don't burn your eyes out soon, and then it won't be an issue anymore!"

Somewhere, deep and buried, you remember lasers being used in particle accelerators, or in telescopes, or in laser cutters, or funny cat videos. They are, in fact, still interesting. Still cool.

But by this point they have replaced roads with "Death Star Powered Pathways", which are just laser pointers propped up on tooth picks pointing vaguely through the forests.

And you think you are going mad.

And they are still just FUCKING LASERS.

I'm currently looking for reviewers for my new transgender novella I just released called The Drunk, The Gambler, and The Lover. It's about how people see you for what you aren't and the life of isolation, loneliness, and addiction that comes with it, a faceless existence. It's about that one day you realize you have been lying to yourself for 20 years and the great unraveling that follows, a conversation about writing, art, and self-acceptance.

(It's in stores, but just DM me or ask me in the comments, and I will give you a free copy. Verified Amazon reviews are the best way to support indie authors.)

proof by magic orb

proof by go ask chthulu

proof by just trust me :3333

proof by blackmail

proof by mom said it's my turn with the proof you don't get to see it

PSA for all FTC teams: you are not allowed to construct your robot out of bones (R203J)