*Explodes*

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

the hottest thing a guy can be is barely conscious on the floor while someone lifts his head up by the hair so that you can see his glazed out eyes and the blood running down his face

sorry boss can't come in today i was on my way to work and then a gentle spring breeze kissed my cheek and reminded me it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

"you will look for themes and motifs in media that isn't worth the effort" i will look for themes and motifs in the dirt. on the ground.

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

yeah I have political reasons for it now but my original and still most powerful reason is "I am not getting out of this bed one single second before I have to"