behold the power of god and 48 mental illnesses

I think that, fundamentally, everything comes down to the way PTSD is presented in the movie, and how we as a fandom interpret Simon's personality, behaviors, and symptoms differently. And this requires so much care and caution when being spoken about, because psychology is still a budding science and the human mind is messy. Contradictory, even. It is quite impossible to map everything that we are with a single theory, a single interpretation, a single map.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that I was using a theory that, though it has been utilized in the psychology community as the best representation of trauma, its neurological declarations were actually unsupported by science. In my search for any other theory that could hold water compared to polyvagal theory, i found a fascinating, eye-opening read that i recommend with my entire heart. In it, the author speaks about how we (psychologists) need to put our own clinically trained instinct and perception of people's complexity and nuance over the rigid, simplistic, or labeling tools that we can use to give us a direction to take, but not the end-all to treat every single person out there. As an example, it spoke about how polyvagal theory has been helpful for patients, but not perfect, and certainly not the answer to humanity's wealth of diversity when it comes to how we experience, express, and define our trauma. It is also an important point when it comes to diagnosing patients, because if we focus on only one aspect of a person's suffering for treatment, we are neglecting their full story, and missing the help they truly need to heal and grow.

A map of the tunnel leading to the Anomaly. / A picture of the Anomaly. — We can’t possibly map the magnitude and brilliance of the Light, but can only experience it.

Our perception is a pinhole, and reality can be far grander and more complex than we can possibly comprehend it or put it in words.

It's impossible for us to map Simon’s character perfectly in a post, to trace every motivation and every trait, or to narrow him down to a barebones, concise guide of how to write him. It is even harder, really, to diagnose him and decide what behaviors he does or not do. We spent almost two hours with him and we still have so many unanswered questions that influence the background of his mind, identity, development, even his physical state. There are a plethora of factors that construct a person's psyche and help to the integration (or disintegration) of their identity: attachment; motor, linguistic, and social development; beliefs created or inherited in the family system; the development of life skills and interdependence; education; a sense of community; etc! This creates for us a lovely half-blank canvas, where Mark and his crew traced the lines of a portrait that we get to shade, add dimension to, color in, and add other details. This is a fun venture! It relies on community, on a shared passion, on our imagination as we consider all the factors that could've led Simon to the man we saw in the movie, or the factors that will lead to a man after these events. This will always be different, because we are different. And it's fun!

That being said, it is important for us to remember the very real weight our ideas carry, especially for communities that have been more vulnerable to stigma, prejudice, and discrimination. Iron Lung is, aside from cosmic horror, a psychological horror. Simon portrays a level of suffering that many have connected with on a personal level. And Simon presents with what could be interpreted as various mental illnesses, especially due to the heavy trauma he endures and is implied to have grown up in. This is a remarkable character who presents an opportunity of representation not usually seen, especially in the dimension of dissociative and psychotic spectrums, and also neurodivergence such as ADHD.

With this in mind, please, let us be open to always learning more and educating ourselves on these important topics, with the awareness that there are real people behind them, not just a fictional character. We can headcanon Simon to have different ailments, yes, but it's important to know that if we don't count with the experience, we must listen and give space to those who do. We must learn how to research for both professional resources as well as personal accounts. We must understand that guidelines exist in the growing science of psychology, but they are not perfect, nor do they represent all people who exist and struggle.

We will mess up—I certainly have! I used an outdated, unscientific theory to make a meta post! One that had been contested for years now, and i just learned about it! But i took charge in rectifying my mistake and learning to fill the gap in my knowledge.

As a clinical psych doctoral student, i know that i will spend the rest of my life building up knowledge and experience for the most complex study in the world, of our mind. I carry a heavy responsibility to not spread misinformation, to not harm people who have consistently been stripped of their voice, and to give a safe space to everyone no matter how different from me. The digital community, and the world, may be much better off if we all tried to bear this responsibility. Our perspective will never be complete, but always in formation.

Now. When we think of specifically Simon's characterization within canon, we have a few more constraints, but the movie gives us many clues to actively ponder, interpret, reanalyze, share, and evolve with each other's thoughts. Which is why I think it's a detriment to divide ourselves in one of two sides when it comes to traits of Simon's personality: either Violence or Softness. Vengeance or Empathy. Selfishness or Abnegation. Dysregulation or Self-Awareness. And even worse, in my eyes, is the fandom habit of accusing others of forgoing the character's complexity by focusing on one end of the perception, only to settle in the other end of the interpretation. By shutting down those who believe Simon does in fact struggle with reining in his anger and aggression, telling them they have devolved to racism or lack of complex analysis of the character, we only alienate each other. By relying solely on our own interpretation, without allowing it to evolve naturally with the thoughts of others, we may cage our perception in a feedback loop, and miss out on the beautiful collective participation of community.

There's an interesting treatment tool that is very helpful for people who generally struggle with rigid, black and white thinking (me). This is Dialectics. It is the practice of accepting two opposite statements as simultaneous truths.

Simon struggles with anger, but he is capable of gentleness.

Simon can harm others on instinct, but he feels remorse and tries to change.

Simon cared about his own survival over humanity's, but he also wanted to help those in his position.

Simon succumbed to hopelessness, yet he hoped for a better future till the bitter end.

Simon was haunted and distrustful due to interpersonal (and cosmic) trauma, and he still tried to help and trust the people who've betrayed him.

Simon has been perpetrator and victim. Butcher and Convict. A murderer, a criminal, but also a man with a name, fighting tooth and nail to be good. A martyr.

This doesn't take away his struggle against a lifetime of violence and destruction. This doesn't erase his outbursts of anger, which could be a natural response to the overwhelming injustice and terror, or a neurologically wired instinct from a childhood of dogma and survival—or most likely, both! This also doesn't mean that one or two symptoms can be immediately ascribed to a diagnosis without consulting the necessary criteria and resources (you can headcanon and make AUs of other diagnoses, certainly! but take that representation with care and responsibility always). And most importantly, this doesn't mean we have to sanitize him for our moral standing, nor justify his every decision, harmful or otherwise.

This means that Simon is more than a set of symptoms, and is defined beyond a couple of adjectives. He is human.