made out with a hotdog

8. Before you know it, its no longer fake

a singular scuit. just one. 

an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

oh dang, this is fascinating 

@centaurself

the nature of humanity is just that every so often someone accidentally invents ascii art again

thor after writing his name on the tube of lipstick, eliminating himself from All Stars 3

I refuse to believe any of these are real

All of these look like my attempts to draw animals

Then know you drew one, just jot the one you intended. Sometimes the greatest achievements are someone elses greatest mistakes.

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

the sheer amount of Fucks Not Given in these photos is creating a Black Hole Of Ungiven Fucks, sucking in all the bullshit over the Fuck You event horizon and trapping it so the bullshit can’t escape. It’s gorgeous. 

if you’re closeted right now don’t worry hun because until you’re ready I👏will👏be👏gay👏for👏the👏both👏of👏us👏

The second girl at least read the book to confirm that it was shit, she even had Capote on deck as backup. Chick 1 is just lazy

If you read thirty pages of a book and hate it, that’s a good analysis. Girl 1 literally said, “It sucked for these reasons, and I only got through 30 pages.” She was absolutely paying attention and trying to get it. But if all you get is a headache, fuck that book.

I love this exchange

That very faint “Why’re you still eating the apple?” 💀

“It’s the first thing on the syllabus” 🙃

if you have not watched this you need to because this is the explanation for all the fuckery going on today 100% And it is funny funny funny