BADGER

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

dont blaire witch me i'm 2

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

Happy 4th of July from Lisa Simpson!!! 👏 👏 👏

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

i think it’s important to be able to take a step back and recognize that you rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrcvkxxxxjnfrg782]]]]2AQ

i was Thinking but i got up to get coffee and i came back to discover that one of my cats walked across my keyboard and posted this early for me and you know what. they summed it up far more succinctly than i ever could