being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean

i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer

they should invent a job that doesn't affect your schedule or energy level that you don't have to go to if you don't want but you still get paid

It's Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest. just how Every day of my life will be Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest, on account of how I am Never Ever Going There.

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

met gala theme fat and in jeans

thinking about developing a social skill soon

how’s it going?