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if i look back, i am lost

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we're not kids anymore.
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@problem-management

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being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider
It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait
why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean
i can be trusted around the box of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer

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they should invent a job that doesn't affect your schedule or energy level that you don't have to go to if you don't want but you still get paid
It's Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest. just how Every day of my life will be Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest, on account of how I am Never Ever Going There.
Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.
Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:
I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.
me when im a flea

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met gala theme fat and in jeans
I, too, live in fear of being rejected for a water balloon fight.
"Charity shop" - 2007

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thinking about developing a social skill soon
how’s it going?
dude. what did you do. everyone is here.