gay little freak

don't shave your legs this summer HOLD THE FUCKING LINE

I get a strike at the bowling alley and the screen plays a clip of me being born

Galaxies are yurinating...

don't say it like that

did chikorita ever end up decreasing the increase or was that another of bidens failed promises

that saultry little binch in STILL in the bottom lsft

If I had immortality I would piss off big dogs and make them attack and kill me so they have to be put down by law and then I'd get up and be fine and do it again. But what if I encountered an immortal dog and we became locked in endless war...? Need to think this through

You could also work for shitty big companies and subtly injure yourself and sue them for millions of dollars and keep doing it over and over again. You'll probably have to wear a fake mustache and glasses so they don't recognize it's you after the sixth time

im going to get peoples pets killed instead ok?

FOUGHT A HARD BATTLE AGAINST DUVET COVER TODAY [STOP] SAME ENEMY WAS SUCCESSFULLY NEUTRALIZED IN THREE PRIOR BATTLES [STOP] FEAR THAT MY CAPABILITY AS COMMANDER MAY BE REGRESSING [STOP] ULTIMATE VICTORY WAS A BLOODBATH [STOP] MEN LOST [STOP] BATTLEFIELD SUSPICIOUSLY LUMPY [STOP] NEXT ENCOUNTER COULD BE DEADLY [STOP] TELL MARTHA AND THE CHILDREN I LOVE THEM

SAM REID CALLING OMEGAVERSE "VERY URSULA LE GUIN"

don’t make other people’s decisions for them. apply for the job you don’t think you’ll get. let them decide if you have the skills they’re looking for. tell that person you like them even though you think they’re out of your league. let them decide if they like you. stop trying to predict and control everything. bring what you have to the table. let the rest go.

the ad copy says it can be used on camels. imagine someone with a camel who is struggling with camel behavior problems seeing this and thinking "hot damn, the solution to my camel misbehavior problems is CERTAINLY this dog exorcism potion"