Business Conservative

Oh my fucking GOD

this is the best thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes.

oh my gosh he’s gently play-biting them like they’re his own babies

@since-the-900s

This is the only fucking thing I care about, do you hear me.

I love how he calls them weenie dogs the whole time

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

A big mood

I missed this video

Keeyum.

@huffpc

am i being interrogated

i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter

This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.

so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh

This is actually done for legal reasons. If Chad was excluded from the will entirely, he could make the case that he was supposed to be included but was forgotten, and get a big chunk of the estate. By explicitly giving him $1, it shows he wasn’t forgotten so he doesnt have a case.

That’s some legit fairy tale level shit right there.

Gonna be honest I have a very vague understanding of what a 7 year old is. I know it’s a child. But what grade they’d be in, how much they would know about like, i dont know, science, or like, how big they would be. I have no idea. I have no idea what a 7 year old is. 

reasons that i was going 9 mph over the speed limit today: the lumberjack in the big red chevy truck behind me on this double-lined road was in a hurry and also was using a slightly more powerful bluetooth radio to play his music, but he was using the same frequency that i use, and he was just playing Party In The Usa on repeat, so every time he caught up to me my music started fading out and “i pUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYIN MY SONG” started blaring from my speakers and i was justly running for my fucking life

do u remember those fuckers those…

those WEEGGh gHOGH stick fuckers

Neon Groantube Evangelion

I can literally feel the walls of reality breaking down around me the longer this video plays.

That’s what the apocalypse sounds like.

I’m not usually one to promote censorship, but whoever made that thing should be thrown in jail.

I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

because squishing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris. the pop is to keep us humble. to remind us that death comes for all