"Cool title here"

Maybe if I reblog it it will become the truth 

i reblog this everytime

This is the magic a$ap, if you don’t reblog it this will be the first year you’re broke

the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ has only been actually typed once by a single person, everyone else who has ever used it has just googled “shrug emoji” and copy-pasted it

do you ever get into one of those moods where your heart aches and longs for something so deeply but you dont know what and your heart is like a stubborn toddler screaming i want it !!!! please give it to me !!!! And you’re desperately like i don’t know what kind of emotionally fulfilling experience to give you at 3 PM on a Wednesday !!!!!!!!!

I'm loyal and kinky af, what more could you want?

“merry christmas here’s your gift” um it’s pronounced jift

*looks at you seductively* *lowers glasses* i can’t see a thing

“Stay hydrated kids!” I say while refusing to get water as I would have to get out of bed

I’m a social vampire u gotta invite me into ur conversation or I cannot enter

But why is this so accurate

someone put it into words

It’s literally in her Twitter profile…. good grief. 

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine

it means you have new friends!

are these good new friends or “death is coming” sort of new friends

yes!

The next day you turn on the news and Jeb Bush is suddenly president and nobody talks about it