worm

when i was little i thought martha’s vineyard was a literal vineyard owned by martha stewart

a former classmate of mine wrote one of those “what i did over the summer” essays in m*ddle sch**l about spending the summer in martha’s vineyard and the whole time she read her essay to the class i remember thinking “she...let you in? you stayed in her vineyard for the whole summer? with the grapes??”

I miss the god complex english class gave me

why are we still here? just to suffer? every day i charge devices

gay people be like “i know a spot” and then take you up that hill to make a deal with god 🙄

he did a little dance and for this crime he was imprisoned in a bubble

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅

Delete this account immediately.

this ask lives in my mind rentfree

following a lot of lesbians means you’ll see a post on your dash 20 times and you’re like fucking god how many notes does this post have and it has like 700

imagine being patri- 🤢 patriotic 🤮