oil and water

*leaves

where are you going

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

Victoire hockey is so strange because the first thing you learn about the team is that it is absolutely stacked with generational talent. And then you find out that they generally play a nice and slow, if somewhat violent, game of hockey, which is kind of strange given the lineup. And THEN you find out this is only the case if the whole team is alive and well and in the game because the second that one of their starting players is injured the rest of the team proceeds to lock in and do insane hockey at a level no one has ever seen before and it’s all on the PK because Stace and Roque have been fist fighting in a corner when they aren’t actively handling the puck

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

kinda bullshit the English language doesn't have a discrete word for an unlit campfire. you light a campfire, but what is it before you light it? also a campfire, I guess. I need to invent a word that can be intuitively understood as "the arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire"

well "an arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire" sounds like it's just a bundle of sticks and I think there is a collective word for that maybe

let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.

everything can be improved by lesbianism

genuinely who is doing it like early 2000s lesbian movies. d.e.b.s. is so ridiculously fun. they immediately fall in love. the spy stuff (the premise of the movie) is only really relevant to allow for more lesbianisms. the main pairing say I love you within a week and a half of knowing each other. the most important character to the plot is the villain's sidekick, who is maybe the only reason australia is still intact. they're all fashionable as fuck. truly built different

Love watching femslash gifs on tumblr it’s like going to a fancy sushi place where the chef cuts only the gayest morsels out of a huge nasty heterosexual tuna and serves them right into your mouth like a momma bird.