oil and water

something i actually just realized on call w some friends recently is how crazey it is that your online friends are as many as thousands of feet above or below u right now. like if you teleported to their location without changing your height above sea level, well your fucked in some way basically

various tv, film, and theater producers for the last 50 years smacking themselves in the forehead like fuuuuck how can we make it easy to understand why carrie is alienated from her peers and callously bullied at school WITHOUT making her a hideous fatass like in the book

because if she was fat and blowing people up with her mind it would be too awesome

I’ve been silent for too long and can no longer bear to keep this inside: @beaunydoorin is a good person and deserves many good things.

*leaves

where are you going

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

Victoire hockey is so strange because the first thing you learn about the team is that it is absolutely stacked with generational talent. And then you find out that they generally play a nice and slow, if somewhat violent, game of hockey, which is kind of strange given the lineup. And THEN you find out this is only the case if the whole team is alive and well and in the game because the second that one of their starting players is injured the rest of the team proceeds to lock in and do insane hockey at a level no one has ever seen before and it’s all on the PK because Stace and Roque have been fist fighting in a corner when they aren’t actively handling the puck

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

kinda bullshit the English language doesn't have a discrete word for an unlit campfire. you light a campfire, but what is it before you light it? also a campfire, I guess. I need to invent a word that can be intuitively understood as "the arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire"

well "an arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire" sounds like it's just a bundle of sticks and I think there is a collective word for that maybe